Is Love Enough ??

Chapter 5

Maan inserted the key in the lock and entered the apartment, taking in a deep breath.

It was still early on a Sunday morning. But Kirti had a flight at six for Chandigarh. Yup, just as he had predicted and hoped against, she had decided to attend her sister's wedding. He hadn't repeated his warning again. Once was enough. She had her own intelligence to decide what she wanted to do. It was her wish. She was an adult and she could take her own decisions, right or wrong. And because she was an adult she could face the repurcussions too. He hadn't wanted her to go and she had known that, despite that she had taken the decision...then so be it. And that had been his reaction when she had told him about it, he had felt a prick of anger that she had chosen to go instead of heeding his advice. For a second he had even doubted her loyalty. And then he had been mad at her for making him think like that, and then at himself for feeling insecure and chauvinistic. She loved him. He knew that. Felt it in everything she did. He could doubt anything but that. Despite his cynicism and attitude towards relationships he knew that one thing to be true. And when he had taken her shopping, for the first time he had seen excitement as she had bought clothes to wear for each function. The joy and shining eyes had made up for all the sourness he had been feeling. After a little time he had enjoyed her enthusiasm too. Not that he had told her anything of the sort. Despite them being so close he still found it uncomfortable to talk to her about his feelings.

When he had dropped her at the airport his mood had been somber. He hadn't know why. Despite all the rationale he had given himself about Kirti being a big girl and taking care of herself and the freedom of making choices he hadn't been able to stop the worry that had crept in. She would be on her own there. He could have swallowed the bitter pill and gone with her but...his pride was important, and it was one thing he never compromised on. He had never done anything he hadn't wanted to and he wasn't beginning now. Halfheartedly convincing himself she would be okay and that she was going to see her family, maybe nothing would go wrong just the way she had predicted, he had said bye. Gruffly.

But now that he was back home, his mood refused to lift. Damn, but he missed her already. He hadn't realized how much he had gotten used to her presence that now she wasn't there, he could hear the silence in the house, and it was oppressing. It wasn't as if they were always talking or she was a chatterbox. In that respect, they were both similar. She had always had a quiet nature and he had turned his nature quiet.

Maan decided to make some coffee hoping it would make him feel better. The restlessness was getting on his nerves. He put the kettle on and added coffee to it. How long had he known Kirti? The thought came out of nowhere and he decided to indulge it while the coffee brewed. Forever...and his mouth twisted mockingly. He wasn't that romantic. Since childhood...yes, that sounded better. They had been neighbors before his father had struck gold with his business and they had moved to a posh locality. Maan's lips curled with distaste. How he had hated that house. Sure it had been big, still was. But it had always been cold. There had never been any warmth. Full of things, but never real emotions. He had never wanted to go there. Not that his wishes had been taken into account. Nor had he bothered to voice his thoughts after a couple of rebuffs he had got from his parents. It had just been a place to live before he had been sent to a boarding school for being a brat and then, then it had become just a place to visit during holidays. He had completely moved out when he had left for Boston for his higher studies. And those were the only years he hadn't seen her. But like a loyalist she had sent him mails, on his birthday, on festivals, always stayed in touch. Of course, at that time he had also been best friends with Veer. For a second if he was to put that relationship aside, her mails and greetings had always cheered him up. She had been his only link to Chandigarh. When he had returned briefly before heading to Mumbai and making something out of himself, away from everyone and what was expected of him, he had met her again. And despite all his callousness, his father had maintained relationship with Kirti's family. At that time he had been suprised to see her. She had grown up. From a thin, gawky girl with long plaited hair to a slender, beautiful girl with warm brown hazel eyes and gentle soft mouth. But it hadn't been her physical beauty that had intrigued him, it had been the fact that she hadn't changed at all. She had retained her sweetness, her shy demeanor and innocent naivete. She had never been dumb, her eyes had always held intelligence within. Oh! yes, he had been surprised for sure. Where he had been jaded since his adolescence maybe even since before that, who knew, she had stayed the same. He had found her to be an extremely interesting creature. And at that Maan's features relaxed instantly, his lips lifting into a smile...affectionately.

She had definitely been a fascinating person to know. And she had never complained. Not even once. He was a hard man to live with. Even harder to understand. And hardest to love. His rules, his restrictions, his notions weren't something anyone or everyone could digest. No girl in her right mind would have ever fallen for him. From the few off relationships he had had during his college years he had learnt that much. He had his own demands. And he had a lot of them. He didn't like being questioned. He didn't like being asked. He hated being told what to do. He was always skeptical, more like suspicious, of others' motives. He couldn't stand lies, of any kind. He hated cheaters with an intensity that sometimes scared him as well. He trusted very few people, his family not included, and those he did trust, he knew would never cross him. He had seen the worst in people and what they could do and how it affected those involved. And he never wanted to be the one on the receiving side.

He was self made. More or less. His father's influential background had never provided for him. And in all that dim, focussed, mundane existence of his, Kirti had been a refreshing breeze. He still couldn't figure out how she viewed things despite living with her for the past two years. Her zest for life, her enthusiasm, her excitement and ability to find positivity in the most grim of situations...almost always left him puzzled. He often wondered how life's grim realities never seemed to faze her.

Every day he left for work, she was there to wish him. Every evening when he returned she was there to greet him. No wonder the apartment seemed empty. He looked around. Everything had her touch. From the furniture, the accents, the wall art, everything. He had neither had time nor the inclination for such things. She had made this house, home. Filling it up with her warmth and character. And she had been her own person too. For all the stubbornness and arrogance he showed her, she knew how to get things she wanted done. She had embraced him, his harshness, his cynicism, his friends and the life he had offered her in one sweep. He had proposed to her in not so many words and definitely not with flowery speeches and all the romance that goes with it...and she had accepted. Just like that. Accepting all his conditions without a single protest. She hadn't even blinked an eye. Somewhere he had always known she would accept, but the relief at her 'yes' had been paramount. What he would have done had she said 'no' he had no idea, and all because that scenario had never presented itself. And Maan as a rule didn't believe in wasting time on things that never took place.

He sipped his coffee after stirring sugar in it and he missed her company. Just two days ago they had had coffee together. Why was he wallowing? She would be back in exaclty one week. 'Too long', a voice whispered in his head. How was it too long, he shot back with a frown marring his brows. He would be busy through the week, he had a schedule to follow, and days would pass in a blink. And then she would be back. 'What if she doesn't return', taunted the unreasonable voice in his head and that question made him pause in between taking a sip. Where the hell had that question popped up from? He wasnt't insecure. Not where she was concerned. She loved him. For him, she had left her family, friends, city, the life she had known. He trusted her. Completely. She would never do that to him. What the hell? Why was he thinking nonsense? He didn't have time for this. Where was his laptop?

He rose from the chair to go find his laptop and do some constructive work. His coffee mug left on the table. Half full.

And as he worked his mind focussed on the task he was doing, out of habit. But the lingering doubt stayed.

At the back of his mind.

It stayed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you for taking out the time to read ...

Votes and Comments Appreciated !!!