Is Love Enough ??

Chapter 6

Kirti rang the bell with trepidation.

People would laugh if she told them she was nervous to enter her parents' home. The same house where she had been born, spent her childhood, adolescence and entered adulthood. So many memories. So many moments. Both good and bad. Mostly good, she corrected mentally. She had had a great childhood, surrounded by love, care, traditions and indulgence. Her parents were the traditional types but not conservative, they were liberal, or they had been liberal till it had been convenient. They had provided both her and Anika with the best of education and freedom to choose their own career paths, friends and yet...yet when it had come to the man, she had chosen for herself, the man she wanted to spend her life with, they had reservations. So much so they had cut off from her completely. Why was it always that when it came to choosing one's life partner, most parents suddenly decided to walk the conservative path? Anika was having an arranged marriage. At least she liked Gurmeet. Her fiancé. But Kirti's heart had always been set on Maan. For her, any other match wouldn't have even been a possibility. Sadly, her parents never could understand that.

Maan had dropped her at the airport this morning. He hadn't asked her again to rethink her decision. It wasn't him. He was proud, if anything. He never repeated himself. Never asked twice. He had always been complicated, for others, but for her, there wasn't another person who was simpler. Maybe because she knew why he was complicated. The problem was that just knowing didn't help. She was still trying, trying to get past all his defenses and he had many. She was successful too, but in bits and parts. He was opening up, slowly, but it was a long way to go. Still. He cared. She knew that. Deeply. For her. Loved her too. In his own way he had shown her how much several times. But he had never given her the words. Where she told him she loved him every single day, he had never in all the time she had known him, including the proposal, ever told her he loved her. And though she was patient and knew it would take time but he would get there, she was starting to get a tad bit greedy. Something she needed to control. He would give only when he was ready. He couldn't be rushed. Just this morning when she had said bye, he had gruffly asked her to take care of herself. And she had hugged him and kissed him on the cheek for that. He was worried for her. But stubborn that he was...he wouldn't accompany her. She just had to wait. She sighed.

How long had she been standing here? How long had she been thinking? But before she could answer those questions, she heard the bolt shift on the other side of the door and she straightened. Her nervousness suddenly back to the fore. She hoped her face gave the impression of being calm even as she felt her palms get all sweaty. She wanted the person opening the door to be Anika, hoped if not her then it would be her mother, at least the woman might be considerate, and dreaded it could be her father, who might bang the door shut in her face or worse, that when the door actually opened, she didn't recognize Suraj, their house servant.

For the next few seconds they both stared at each other. She, because she had forgotten Suraj still worked for them, and he because...well, because he probably wouldn't have expected it to be her. He looked surprised. Shocked would be more accurate. Since she recovered first, she passed him a tentative smile not sure of her reception.

"Hello, Suraj," she said in a voice that did not sound very familiar to her.

He blinked almost as if coming out of trance. And then he smiled. A full-fledged grin.

"Namaste didi," he said with sudden excitement.

And Kirti smiled, genuinely. He looked like he was happy to see her. Was that good? It definitely boosted her spirit for sure. Two years. It had been two long years. Seemed like ages to her.

"Come, come," Suraj said enthusiastically, and Kirti bent to pick her case, when the weight was taken from her, "what didi?" Suraj said as he took the case even before she could lift it, "why will you carry this heavy stuff, when I am there," he said and turned to go inside leaving her to follow.

Kirti stepped in and looked around. It was as if she had stepped back in time. Nothing had changed. Except maybe the wall colors. They seemed to be painted new. Had that been in preparation of Anika's wedding? The furniture was still the same. Cream colored couches with maroon trimmings. The glass coffee table and matching side tables. The bright maroon rug with cream-colored flowers. The crystal chandelier. Memories of having spent so much time in that room gripped her out of nowhere. How many times she had sat on those couches with friends, relatives, her brothers, laughing, arguing, eating. She could almost hear the laughter, the crunch of potato chips even as her mother scolded her to not eat on the couch. She could almost see herself standing there by the big chair, her father's favorite place to sit in the entire room, as her father told her how proud he was of her. She could feel the warmth in her father's voice when he had read her bedtime stories. And then...then the most powerful memory rose to the fore, drowning all others. This was the very room where she had seen her entire family gather one last time before everything had gone down the hill. The laughter was replaced by angry voices. The blame games. Her mother's sobs. She quickly closed her eyes for a second to block the memory, when she opened them again, she was back in the present.

"Didi, you sit," she heard Suraj say, "I will call maaji," he said and rushed off.

She glanced at Suraj's retreating figure. Was she being treated as a guest? This was her home. Former home, a voice reminded her. Was it? She knew everything about this place. She remembered every nook and corner. It was not Suraj. It was her. She had changed. Or maybe the circumstances. There was a time when she would go anywhere she pleased, but now was not that time. Things had changed. She knew why she hesitated to venture further into the house. She didn't know if she was welcomed. True, Suraj had been happy to see her, but how about others? Had Anika told them she had been invited and was coming? How would they react? 'You are dead to us, from here on', a harsh angry voice echoed in her head. 'Don't you ever dare to show us your face'. Her father's words before he had bodily thrown her out and shut the door on her face.

All of a sudden, she wasn't sure it had been a good idea to get all sentimental and come here. Her parents hated her. They must have loved her once but...She felt anxiety rise inside her as she struggled to remain calm and stomp on her sudden need to flee before someone came. She could leave. Right now. Go back. Or stay at a hotel. Suraj had gone to call her mother. How much time had passed since he had left? She looked at the big grandfather clock in the corner, not that it helped, and then she heard hasty footsteps on the stairs. Coming down. She drew in a deep calming breath and had only a few seconds to school her expression when she found herself face to face with Mrs. Kamal Singh after a gap of two years.

Her mother stood before her.

And now there was no going back.

Oh! boy. What was she going to do?

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