Is Love Enough ??

Chapter 35

"I didn't know," Rupal said in a broken voice and faltered in her step.

Kirti reacted quickly. Holding on to the older woman's elbow she assisted her to a nearby chair.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned as she watched Rupal's pale face and quick shallow breathing. "Let me get Maan," she said though she wasn't sure if Maan would listen to anything she had to say about his mother at this time. Maybe she could get Mr. Khanna and he could assist his wife.

"No, he won't listen," Rupal said and attempted a smile to ease Kirti's concern, "I am fine," she said in a strained voice.

"Let me at least get you some water," Kirti insisted as she settled down on her haunches and looked up into Rupal's face scanning every inch with worry.

"No, I just need a few moments, I will be fine," Rupal said patting Kirti's hand. Neither of them commented on the change of Rupal's statement from 'I am fine' to 'I will be fine'.

Rupal took in a deep breath. She had been ready for Aryaman's anger, his rudeness, maybe even his stubbornness but not hatred. The venom in his voice had shaken her to the core. How come it had come to this? How had she not realized it sooner? Yes, she had never explained anything to him, his father's infidelity had destroyed any or all loyalty she had ever had for the man. But she had loved her kids. Maybe she hadn't been the kind of ideal mother everyone wished for but...she was still their mother and she had never intentionally done anything to push them away. Yes, she had regretted her marriage, her inability to take stronger decisions, she had resented her parents for living her to deal with life all by herself but she had never regretted having her kids. She hadn't explained their situation to Aryaman only because he had been a kid. She hadn't expected him to understand. She hadn't expected him to understand what adult relationships were, the constraints she dealt with, the decisions or choices she was making and while doing that she was trying to shield him, hoping to give him an illusion of a normal childhood. What she hadn't realized was that Aryaman with his keen observation and sharp intelligence even at that age would have noticed a lot of things that were out of place. Isha never had. The rest....the rest was accomplished by people. She almost scoffed. People hadn't let them be. Relatives, friends, strangers...nobody had spared them constantly hammering them with their inquisitive questions, hateful words, and gossips. She hadn't realized what all of that was doing to her kids. She hadn't known Aryaman had remembered everything. Every incident. Every hateful word. How could she? His anger and her own incapability to do anything about her situation had distanced them a long time ago. When he had been younger at least he had talked about what was happening, how he felt...as he had grown...he had become more reserved, more protective of his thoughts and emotions. It wasn't his fault she realized that now. When had she consciously made an effort to listen to him? She had left him to figure things out for himself, to distinguish between truth and lies. Wasn't it too much to expect from a child? In her own way, she may have wanted him to become tougher so he could withstand anything and he had. Only in doing so she never told him reasons for her decisions, choices, attitudes. She had never told him her side of the story. So, if today he thought of her as a woman who had participated equally in her husband' immoral life, then he was right. Because at some level she had.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she heard Kirti ask gently. The girl's sweet, gentle voice breaking through the haze of her thoughts like sunshine. At least Maan had someone who cared for him, loved him, understood him. And she was glad that Aryaman cared deeply for her too. She had seen it with her own eyes. He had tried to honor Kirti's request till she had goaded him to lose his temper completely. She was such a sweet girl. Now she was trying to help her. Of its own a smile appeared on her face and she felt a bit better.

"You should go after him," Rupal said warmly as she placed a hand on hers where it rested on her knee.

"He doesn't need me right now aunty," Kirti said with a faint smile though her eyes still showed concern for the older woman. Sure, the color was returning but...