critical scars on beautiful veins // tyler joseph

øne

|| song for the chapter: lean - have mercy ||

"i've given up on myself today. lost what i had, is there a way to get it back?"
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i could feel the water splashing back at me every time my feet would hit the ground. i wasn't running to somewhere important, i was just letting my feet take me as far away from him as possible. i can't remember the last time i needed to run this, but the anxiety was really starting to kick in. the rain pouring down and the large crowds of people and buildings didn't help. oh, how i hated new york.

i could feel the man chasing after me start to catch up. my stomach started to churn at the thought of what he might do to me. i just needed to get off the streets and away from the unnamed man.

"please stop running!" someone shouted behind me. i was quick to assume that it was this stranger following me and that it was directed at me. i refused to listen, i wasn't in the mood to be raped or murdered today. that's one thing my mom always told me, don't trust strangers. especially men and especially when you're in new york. my mom always knew i wanted to live in the big apple when i grew up, i never stopped talking about how much i adored the city life. me and my mom were very close before she lost the battle to breast cancer. not a day goes by where i don't think about how much i miss and love her. she died when i was just fourteen. i became distant from the rest of my family. my dad and two brothers became very concerned about me and my mother was soon forgotten and everything became about me. it made me sick but i was too weak to fix anything.

"listen to me! stop running, i'm not trying to hurt you!"

this only made me run faster. i don't know who this man is, i don't know why he chose me, and i don't know his intentions. i could feel my throat burning and my legs becoming sore. eventually, the heel of my shoe got caught in a pot hole and i fell to the wet ground. i quickly became drenched in the rain. i knew this man was approaching me so i started to scream out for help. no one listened. no one came to my rescue. i scurried up in attempt to flee once again but a hand grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me back to face them. the man who was chasing me was now staring directly into my eyes. i didn't say anything, my breathing became very heavy and it felt like i was going to pass out from fear. the suspense was actually killing me. i started to avoid eye contact, my face was now looking directly at the rainy streets below us. i kept trying to jerk
out of his grip but he was too strong for me.

"calm." was all that came out of his lips as my breathing began to pick up even more. he hasn't dragged me off into some alley and i wasn't being held at gunpoint, yet. i was afraid to speak out for help again in fear that he planned on hurting me. my plan was to get out alive.

"i said calm down! i'm not here to hurt you." his voice made me feel sick. i didn't want to trust him. i was just innocently sitting down at the local starbucks waiting for my morning coffee to ready. i was going to head to school as soon as i had it but within minutes of leaving the building i knew someone was following me. i started to speed up and so did he. i then ran for ten minutes and he didn't leave me alone. now here i am, terrified in this man's grip. i'm late college now, my professors will kill me. who would believe me if my excuse for being late was that i was being hunted down by some scary dude on the streets?

"why won't you stop shaking, god dammit." the man said, i guess i should stop calling him 'man' since he looked around my age. maybe twenty two or twenty three, i was just turning twenty one.

i wanted to say something back to him but i felt so powerless. was he going to take advantage of my lack of confidence? i needed to stop overthinking this whole situation. i was praying that i would be okay, and i don't even believe in god.

"so..have you calmed down yet? can i talk now or are you still just going to look down and shake like a freaking chihuahua all day?"

"w-what do you want?" i asked. ten thousand things were racing through my mind. why did i even talk to him? he would've given up eventually but no, i just had to go and get myself into more trouble.

"okay well listen, i saw you in starbucks. you were sitting there waiting for your coffee or whatever you ordered. then it comes, you got up and left. and you know what was in your seat when you left? a purse. i assumed it was yours so i tried to call out to you so i could be a hero and give it back but all you did was run away from me. and this purse looks kinda expensive and there's a bunch of textbooks in this so i assumed it was important an-" the man started to say before i cut him off,

"you went through my purse?" i asked harshly.

"before you start to point fingers i only peeked inside to see if anything of importance was there. good thing i did because i was going to give up and just leave your purse on the streets but since i'm so fucking nice i chased you through the rain and wrecked my vans. anyways, do you want this back or not?" this man did not looked pleased with me. i looked down and saw that his vans were in fact falling apart and were very soggy.

"yeah. thanks...." i said trying to figure out what his name was.

"tyler. tyler joseph."

"oh, thanks tyler joseph." i muttered as i forcefully took my bag and started to walk away, finally free. my breathing finally became normal.

"wait!" tyler cried out. i turned back around once again and just gave him a disapproving glance.

"i'm already late enough for college, what is it now?" i asked, my patience was long gone. i don't care if i was acting like a bitch, it was my only form of self defense.

"first off, i'm late for college too. my professor will think i'm very pathetic when i explain to him that i chased some random chick down the streets for what felt like forever just to return some tacky purse. i wanted to catch your name, and what school do you attend?" tyler asked.

"this purse is not tacky..well yes it is but it's one of the only things i have that my mother left. she died of breast cancer so you just made fun of a dead lady's purse. and my name's madelyn. madelyn rose. i attend new york university." i told him. it's not like he actually needed to know these things anyways.

"oh shit, so sorry about your mom. i had no idea-"

"it's fine." i reassured him. i hated it when people pitied me.

"anyways, i attend new york university too! why have i never seen you around campus?" tyler informed me.

my heart dropped when tyler said we attended the same university. i didn't ever want to see his face again. i was already beyond done dealing with him and his need to save the fucking day by returning my 'tacky' purse.

"who knows...anyways i should head to school before i miss anymore lessons." i said as i tried to leave, once again.

"mind if i walk with you? we're going to the same place anyways so i was heading in that direction already...maybe some company would be nice. you still need to thank me for returning your purse." tyler asked. i did not want to befriend him. i would've rather of lost my purse.

"if i have to, since you apparently saved my life by finding this purse and chasing me down to give it to me. i almost died in the process, you should be doing me a favor." i snapped at him. i let him catch up to me so we could walk to campus together.

"alright, i'll do you a favor. i'll buy you a coffee tomorrow morning. i too buy a coffee everyday so i'll already be at starbucks." tyler offered.

"how about you just give me the four dollars it'll cost now so i don't have to talk to you ever again?" i said. it was true, i didn't want to socialize with him anymore. after this walk i was planning on it being the last time i needed to speak to tyler.

"don't be difficult. i'm just trying to be nice" tyler said with a groan.

"well, you'll just have to be there the same time as me. i've never seen you there before so maybe i'll get lucky and you'll go after i leave." i told him. he just looked back at the ground in defeat. i heard him mutter something under his breath but i couldn't make out what he was saying.

"fine. you win this round. this will not be the last you hear of me, madelyn rose." tyler muttered as we reached campus. he quickly stormed off before i could tell him otherwise.

what have i gotten myself into?