critical scars on beautiful veins // tyler joseph

ten

|| song for the chapter: stateside - knuckle puck ||

"i never wanted to be the weight that you buried."

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[ madelyn's p.o.v. ]

i hadn't of heard from tyler for three whole days, hadn't spotted him around campus either. there were countless texts sent, no responses. i called him on multiple occasions, yet no one ever picked up. i stopped by his dorm daily, but josh informed me that he doesn't know where tyler is either. josh didn't seemed worried about tyler, in fact he seemed rather happy about it. josh was also being quite flirtatious, which made me extremely uncomfortable. all i wanted to focus on was tyler. it was driving me insane. i missed his smell, his face, his touch, his sound, and everything else. to say i was terrified would be an understatement. did tyler hurt himself? how much trouble is he in? did he run away? why would he? did someone hurt tyler? did i do something? a million questions raced throughout my head.

i decided to give myself a little break for a few minutes, i would continue the search for tyler later. all this thinking and running around and worrying was making me extremely tired, i haven't been able to sleep. i figured that if tyler was going on a vacation to see his family or something that he would've mentioned it to either me or josh.

i laid down on the small black leather couch that filled up most of my apartment. i turned on my tv and was greeted with the news channel, which i would occasionally find myself watching just so i was aware of what was happening in the world around me. i decided to leave this station on. i heard a pointless story about a lost dog before something caught my attention,

"yesterday afternoon there was a young student found unconscious in downtown new york. a pedestrian noticed the mans lifeless body and immediately called the authorities. he was then quickly rushed to the hospital, still very alive, and has been there ever since. he recently woke up an hour ago, and was identified as tyler joseph. he looks like he's going to make a full recovery down here in the local hospital, he should be released within the next hour. not often that something like this happens, well this is nyc so i'm not surprised." as the words left the news reporters mouth a picture of tyler flashed across the screen, my tyler.

i stayed motionless due to shock. i was feeling a lot of things. happiness, confusion, anger, anxiety, and sadness. tears threatened to pour out of my sleepy eyes. i grabbed my phone and called for an über. i waited outside in the harsh wind for my driver to arrive. as soon as they did i rushed into the car.

"where to miss?" their low raspy voice asked. i gave them directions to the hospital where tyler was being held. after an uncomfortable ten minutes of traffic i had arrived to my destination. i mumbled a thank you and paid my driver. i dashed out the small black car and made my way to the large hospital doors. i slowed down my pace as i reached the reception desk.

"how may i help you?" the lady with long blonde hair who was sitting behind the desk asked me.

"i'm here to visit t-tyler joseph please." it was a lot harder to say than i thought it would be. my poor little tyler was currently hospitalized.

"well, it isn't visiting hours anymore. but..are you madelyn?" the lady asked me. i nodded my head yes, "well," she continued to speak, "he's been asking for you ever since he woke up. maybe it's best if he sees you. first floor, the hall on the right side, last door on the left."

i thanked her and headed into the elevator. i frantically pressed the old button and waited for the doors to close. it felt like one of the slowest elevator rides of my life. once i had reached the floor i followed the lady's directions until i was staring at a white door that read 'room eleven.' i heard a few mumbles, but one voice stuck out to me. tyler, he sounded like he was in pain. without even bothering to knock i barged through the door. there sat my tyler in a hospital dress with a few nurses hovering over him. they were asking what happened but he wouldn't tell them. no one had noticed that i had entered the room. it really hurt to see tyler so distraught and weak.

"tyler?" i asked. the nurses abruptly turned their heads around to stare at me.

"oh my god madelyn.." tyler replied. shoving the nurses out of my way as i made my way to tyler. i failed at my attempt to hold back my tears. i wanted to stay strong for him.

"i've been worried sick, what happened to you?" i asked soothingly as i played with tyler's messily spiked hair.

"miss madelyn, we would like to speak with you in the hall for a minute." the nurses said. without replying i left the room, the nurses followed behind. they closed the door behind us.

"what's wrong?" i asked, anxiousness laced in my voice. the nurses gave me a look of sympathy before opening their mouths to speak,

"well, we're not gunna sugar coat this," one of them started to say, "we have come to the conclusion that tyler attempted suicide. and according to our records, it's not the first time. under further inspection we found freshly cut scars. tyler isn't aware that we plan on sending him to another mental institution to help him for a week or two. we were just about to break the news to him before you came. we think it'd be best if you waited out here." their words made my stomach sink. i could've lost tyler for good. he's being sent away from me, i know i shouldn't be upset but i am. the hospital will help him but i'm gunna miss him so freaking much. i knew tyler was sad, but i wasn't aware that he was this sad.

"no, i wanna be there when you tell him please." i begged the nurses. they glanced at each other before hesitantly letting me into the small hospital room.

"hey tyler...how you feeling?" the brunette nurse asked.

"i actually feel a lot better. i think i'm ready to leave now!" tyler told them
enthusiastically. i knew that what the nurses were about to tell him would break his heart just as much as it did mine.

"tyler there's no easy way to say this, but we've come to terms that you're unstable and need a mental institution for a week or two. your records show that you've been to one before but i think we need to try again." the ginger nurse said. watching tyler's happy face go to a horrified expression was the worst part.

"you can't make me go, i'm an adult." tyler replied. i awkwardly stood in the doorway, unsure of what to say.

"yes we can. you're covered in scars, just attempted suicided, and you're a former addict. sorry sweetie."

former addict?

"don't sweetie me," tyler spat at the nurses, "i'm not going."

the brunette whipped out a walkie talkie from her uniform and called for backup, within seconds two more male doctors arrived.

"unwilling. get him in an ambulance and send him to the local institution." the nurse informed the doctors. they nodded and made their way to tyler. they picked him up and started to drag him away as he flailed his arms around,

"madelyn! don't let them take me, i'm normal! nothing is wrong with me! please don't forget me, i'm sorry, please. oh god, i love you." tyler yelled as the doctors took him away. i was left alone in an empty hallway to sob to myself as my boyfriend was taken away from me.

tyler loved me.

i loved tyler.