critical scars on beautiful veins // tyler joseph

sixteen

song for the chapter: lime street - neck deep.

"i'm sorry for the things i do, i'm missing you like shit today."

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as madelyn rose pulled up next to me in her silver mini van, my eyes actually started to tear up. the window of the drivers seat slowly rolled down and as soon as her face was revealed, i stared at her in awe. everything about her was breathtaking. i sat up and quickly ran to the window,

"tyle-" and before madelyn could finish, i cupped her face and crashed my lips onto hers in a desperate need of contact. this kiss wasn't sloppy and heated like past ones, this one was more slow and needy. i liked it like this, it felt like there were no other cars on this highway and that i could stay here forever in this exact moment with this exact girl.

eventually madelyn pushed me away to catch her breath.

"dear god, it's been way too long since we've been able to do that. fuck, i missed you. please just get in the car so that we can head on our long journey home." she told me, and without replying i made my way to the passengers seat. the car lights turned on when i opened the door and that's when i got a good view of madelyn's face for the first time in a week, and that's when i noticed that something was wrong.

"madelyn, what happened to your eye?" i said as i pointed to the large purple bruise that perfectly covered her left eye. her mouth fell slightly open as she slowly dragged her hand to graze the spot where i was pointed. she pulled her hand away and hissed in pain at the touch of the throbbing eye.

"it's nothing, don't worry about it tyler." she told me and she broke eye contact and started driving down the almost empty highway.

"madelyn, that's not nothing! how'd you do that? did you even do that, is someone hurting you? i'll beat them up!" i told her as i raised my voice in fear and anger. it felt like madelyn was hiding something, and that scared me. the last thing we needed was another bump in our relationship.

"okay tyler, chill, i fell down the stairs and banged my eye on the corner of the stairs. the doctor told me it would heal in a week or so."

"oh, o-okay." i replied. i didn't know if i believed her completely but i'll find out the truth sooner or later.

the rest of the car ride was awkward and silent. i thought that seeing madelyn again would be amazing, but right now i'm wishing that i was still waiting in the cold on the side of the road. i hated these little moments, they could ruin everything. i just wish that my madelyn would talk to me or something, she doesn't seem to glad to have me back which leads me to think that she might finally be done with me. after all, who could blame her? i'm practically insane at this point. apparently i'm nosy too.

the car ride was horrible. my stomach burned with anxiety the whole four hour drive. me and madelyn remained silent as the radio softly played random pop songs in the background. i don't even like pop music.

when we arrived back home i thought madelyn would want to spend the night with me, since we haven't seen each other in ages, but she actually pulled up to my dorm and whispered for me to leave.

"go, tyler, i'll see you tomorrow."

i awkwardly looked at her as i proceeded to grab the car door handle and yank it open. i was hit with an instant breath of fresh, cold, air. it burned my throat. i climbed out the vehicle and waddled into the large building. i eventually made my way to my dorm and let myself in.

it was about 11 in the morning, so i was hoping that josh would be at class

he wasn't.

it was just my luck to find him slouched over on the couch, focused on whatever he was doing on his phone. i tried to be quiet, but i failed. the second the door banged against the doorway in an attempt to close it, josh looked up from the screen and straight at my face.

his eyes almost popped out of his head.

"you're..back?" he asked. i stayed unresponsive for a couple seconds, but then slowly nodded my throbbing head yes. i felt like shit.

it was weird looking around the small, quiet room. i know i wasn't even gone that long, but it was so reliving to be looking down at w carpet and not gross white tiles. it felt good to have the door actually be shut, instead of cracked open. it also felt extremely good to not have nurses and doctors rushing up and the halls, forcing not needing medicine into miserable kids systems.

"wow. it felt good not having you around, can't you go back you suicidal twat?"

"i'm not suicidal." i muttered in utter frustration and anger. josh just shrugged his fucking shoulders, he wasn't even aware of all the damage he had already previously caused. but i guess i wasn't even aware of all the damage he had caused, because he opened his mouth to speak again, and the words that fell out left an eerie vibe in the room that made me feel sick and used.

"sucks that i won't be able to hookup with madelyn anymore." he said with confidence.

my heart sank. the room almost seemed to spin. i wanted to punch josh in his wise ass face.

"bullshit, she wouldn't do that to me. she hates you." i quickly shot back in defense.

he gave me a sarcastic sympathetic look, "don't you know you're unstable? no one wants to deal with a mentally ill kid. you're my enough of a man for her, and i guess i was. and let me tell you, she's magical in the sheets."

"shut the fuck up." i grumbled through gritted teeth. i decided to head into the bathroom to shower.

the hot water masked the steamy tears that dripped down my cheeks and covered the sound of me sobbing in betrayal.