critical scars on beautiful veins // tyler joseph

twelve

song for the chapter: miserable at best- mayday parade

"and the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay."

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[ tyler's p.o.v. ]

"stop! let me go!" i screamed at the guards who were trying to take me to ambulance, "i didn't try to kill myself! listen to me!" i continued to say, no one cared. all i wanted was for them to let me go so i could run back into madelyn's arms. i wanted to stay strong for her, and i feel as if i failed her. she doesn't even know the whole story yet. i hope she's not upset with me, i don't know if they allow visits at the unnamed hospital that i am forcibly being dragged off to. the guards grip on my wrist and shoulders was really starting to sting, i kept struggling to get out, but they were too strong.

after being shoved into an ambulance i started asking questions,

"where are you taking me?" no response.

"how long will i be there?" no response, still.

"can my girlfriend visit me?" and what a surprise, no one responded.

i was strapped down into a gurney, i felt incredibly weak and hopeless. i looked around, there was one guard and one doctor watching over me. there was other medical supplies in the ambulance but i couldn't recognize what it was.

"how long is the ride?" i asked, sounding very ticked off.

"no questions." the doctor finally replied. i let out a deep sigh and shut my mouth up and closed my eyes to enjoy the rest of the ride.

***

after what felt like five years, we had arrived at our destination. it was about a three hour ambulance ride. i might still be in new york, i might not be.

"where am i?" i asked as i was dragged into an empty room with no windows, i spotted a brown wooden chair in the left corner.

"bay ridge hospital, massachusetts."

.:: a/n, i actually know nothing about this place so everything will be made up.::

"how long will i be in here?" i asked the guard who was the only one in here with me.

"you'll find out soon enough." he said, i didn't understand what he had meant.

after a few minutes, a lady walked in. her brunette hair was in a tight bun at the top of her head and she was wearing very fancy clothes. she introduced herself as stacy.

"hello mr. joseph," she started to say before she glanced at me up and down, "you're here today because of your suicidal actions?" she asked me. i nodded my head no.

"that's what everyone is saying, but that's not the whole story. i haven't tried to kill myself for a while now." i told her, she didn't seem like she believed me.

"so tyler, tell me what did happen then." stacy demanded.

"so i'm dating this girl who used to date my college roommate, and he's pissed off about it so he started to say rude things and we got into a fight so i ran out of our dorm and passed out on the streets after running for awhile." i said with confidence in my story being completely true.

"uh, that's lovely tyler, but anyways here's how your living arrangements will wor-" i cut stacy off,

"excuse me? are you just going to
ignore the fact that i don't need to be here?" i spat at her, my anger was quickly rising and i could feel my whole body burn with rage. i can't remember the last time i was this pissed off at someone. i wasn't just pissed at her, i was pissed at everything. i was pissed at the fact that madelyn was taken away from me, and i was pissed at josh since this is basically his fault, and i'm especially pissed at myself for being such a pathetic failure and madelyn's probably gunna run off to some other guy who can actually keep himself together since i'm not good enough for her.

"please lower your temper, we don't want any trouble honey." stacy said all cool, calm, and collectively.

"why am i really here?" i asked her. she shot me a semi-shrug and a weak smile.

"tyler, what are those marks on your wrists?" she asked me. not this again, anything but this.

"they're clearing old and i've already been hospitalized for them a while ago. please let me leave. you've got everything all wrong." i mumbled. i hated talking about my scars because i knew how it made madelyn uneasy.

"maybe a week in here wouldn't be a bad idea?" she suggested. i cringed as the words instantly left her mouth.

"yes, it would be. i'm finally at a point in my life where i found someone who made my life have meaning. you're trying to take away that purpose. being in here would only upset me more, why would that seem like a good idea to you? is it for the money, the reviews? because trust me, keep me here and i will leave a nasty review on your website!" i yelled. after i said it i realized how lame it sounded but i was no good at sounding threatening.

"maybe you have anger issues. follow me to your room." stacy said as she got up and grabbed my arm and tried k drag me out of my seat, i refused to move.

"what the fuck? how is any of this fair? i have a right to be angry with you and this whole place. this is literal human abuse and i'm pretty sure this is illegal. i'm an adult, can't i get myself out of here?" i asked as i fought stacy's grip.

"don't argue with me. we can do this the easy way or we can do this my way."

"is that a threat?" i said in a shocking manner. i was honestly ready to punch this bitch straight in her nose.

"you'll will be rooming with a lovely fellow named mark." she said, "you're room will be in hallway a2. you'll get your schedule and have all your meetings after you settle down. let's get going."

"i don't even have any stuff to get settled with! i can't room with some random person? you can't make me do this! i want to sign myself out." i told her. she ignored me once again. instead of actually paying attention to me, she called over two guards who easily picked me up and carried me into a long white narrow hallway. i could hear their feet squeak against the shiny tiled floor. there were no windows, i could hear other patients screaming. crazy patients, i'm not crazy. i don't belong here. i have to get out of this hell hole.

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a/n: aHhH sorry for not uploading in awhile but i kinda hate this chapter, it's just a filler and it may be weird and confusing rn but it'll make sense soon i promise..i have nice idea for this story. i promise to update more often. i also wanted to say..THANK YOU FOR 1K READS AND ALL THE VOTES AND COMMENTS AHH IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME HODMSHAJJ.