In The Pursuit Of Love

Something akin to 'Love' - I

Do not lose heart or despair- if you are true believers you have the upper hand-” [Quran 3:139].

Heart.

What is the heart?

The literal meaning defines it as a muscular organ that pumps blood through the body. But was it really just that?

No. It is much more and beyond. People never hear the word heart, and think about how its pumping blood. They always relate it with many of the hundreds of emotions they feel with every step of their life. The emotions which stems from the heart,effecting these ever beating heartbeats.

Oh the heartbeats!

And we being the foolish race, become slaves to these ever famous, highly rated heartbeats. But when the fog of that foolishness dissipates, and we actually ponder with the remnants of our mind which Allah has so generously bestowed us with, we realize that our notorious heartbeats pick up its pace when we think we fall in love or something close to that. But if most of us ponder over it, don't they race through even when we are in some danger and scared.

So what if our heart gives signal, that falling in love is dangerous, since it beats the same way in both the circumstances?

As Nargis languidly walked through the deserted streets, she was a mess, of her senseless and stupid thoughts, of her will to just plop down in the middle of the street and not move even an inch and of her non beating heart.

She was sure she had left a part or whole of her heart somewhere, for it was the very first time she was feeling something like this. It was as if this particular organ inside her body had stopped functioning because it was paining..like hell. She fisted her hand over her chest and pounded on it, but this unknown feeling never went away.

She wanted to cry because when finally she got people who cared for her, she had once again lied and broke her promise. She just couldn't stay there as no matter how much she denied, the wound on Zeeshan's forehead, just killed her every time she looked at his handsome face.

She didn't know if she loved him or not or if even it was love. She wondered if anyone can ever fall in love in such a short duration of time. Maybe it was just a bit of affection, or maybe she just longed for people who cared for her. But whatever it was, it was something more than a mere infatuation, something deeply related to her heart, and with the way her chest just above her heart was paining, it was something serious.

The sky above painted colors of orange and blue, as the sun bloomed spreading into the rich blue casting a rosy hue across the morning sky.

As the first rays of sunlight fell on her beautiful face she looked up at the magnificence above and smiled after a long night, disrupting her from her thoughts. She was glad for it though and it was not the first time that she was witnessing the sunrise. It was an uncountable number of times, and every time, it left her amazed.

And with it came a fresh thought. It was a new day, new light leaving behind the dark night before. No matter how pathetically arduous it was, she had to leave behind her past, leave behind those loving people, and leave behind the only man she ever came to love or anything close to that.

A stray tear rolled down her eye and she immediately wiped it away before it can ever soreach her jaw. She wasn't weak and she never came close to even finding it difficult to move on from the last night, but why was it so hard and strenuous,to let go of the last three days, to let go of this feeling inside of her whole being, to let go.. of that handsome face and his care.

But no matter how wretched she becomes, she had to. With new determination, and taking a deep breath, she decided to move forward and bring everyone who suffered at the hands of this politician, justice.

She looked around her surroundings and noticed that people had started emerging on the earlier desolated streets. Pulling at the end of her hijab she tucked it on the other side covering her face and picked up her pace.

Last night she had gotten out of the house quite surreptitiously once Mehreen's breathing evened, never to look back. Only she knew how she had stopped herself from having just a single glance at him. She had dashed frantically so as to not give in to her heart's desire and due to the fear of Zeeshan somehow knowing that she had decided to leave. Once out of sight of the house, she prayed fajr on a pavement and then resumed her walk, albeit amidst her never ending thoughts gnawing at her heart.

Up until now she hadn't really thought of where she would go as it was the night and she was less worried about them catching her rather focused on her aching heart. But now that the sun was up, she had to be cautious and leave this area for good, lest she had that frightening thought that Zeeshan would try to find her, once he wakes up and finds that she was no more in the house.

Once she leaves this area, he wouldn't be able to find her and although he would be anxious for a day or two, he would eventually forget her, leaving only her with his thoughts.On the other hand, despite the fact that they would never meet, she wouldn't ever be able to forget him, that was already decided, and finally came to a conclusion that she would take his memories to her grave.

As she walked further, a small tea shop came into her view and she immediately recognized itto be the same at where she had shared a glass of tea with Zeeshan. A smile automatically made its way on to her face and she found herself moving towards it.

She ordered a cup of tea and asked the shopkeeper if she can sit in the hut. He looked at her in a bit of confusion as if trying to recognize her. Instinctively her hand reached up her face to check if her niqab was in place, conscious of her facebeing exposed. A few seconds later, he nodded and handed her a glass of tea.

A sense of serenity washed over her whole being while her heart anxiously picked up itspace as she 'very carefully' sipped the tea sitting in the same spot as his. She reminisced how he sat here carelessly scrolling through his phone, not giving her any attention because he was mad at her. A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she remembered how cross he was with her, yet he never ceased to care for her and how easy yet difficult it was for her to apologize to him and pacify him.

A sudden movement at the door alarmed her and she looked up to see a small boy standing.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked shyly making Nargis smile and shake her head in negation. He ran back leaving Nargis all alarmed and out of her trance. Keeping the now empty glass aside, she took out the evidences from her bag and started segregating them according to the crimes. Last night, Adil had given her an idea unintentionally and she now had a plan in mind ready to be put in action.

Taking out a pencil and a paper, she made a list of all the big and small newspaper companies and the news channels in the town that she knew. And then packed her.bag to look out for a photocopy shop. She thanked the shopkeeper, once again turned to glance at the hut, and then walked away, blocking her heart of all the thoughts that would distract her from her mission.

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Assalamualaikum beautiful readers! I am here for a dialogue after quite a long time. So I will try to update this story frequently and soon end it Inn Shaa Allah.

Readers - Yeah yeah *eyes rolling* You say this like every other day. Pfft.

Umm yeah. So let's hope for the best. 😁 The second part of this chapter will be updated soon.

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