In The Pursuit Of Love

Following Her Footsteps

'Hardship and ease walk hand in hand in this world. Embracing them both as being from the same Benevolent Source ensures that we walk with Gratitude for our blessings, and Gratefulness for our challenges'

- Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

The light of dawn seeped into his room as he rubbed his bleary eyes and walked over to the window overlooking the city streets. He closed his eyes and tilted his head a bit upwards to hear the birds chirping and the whoosh of the soft cool breeze, all thanks to the sun not out yet.

The last night was a long one, and he doesn't remember a night being this prolonged in a very long time. He couldn't sleep the whole night, well except for the few naps here and there due to the mental exhaustion. And every time his eyes closed he would wake up with a horrifying dream that consisted of only and only Nargis meeting her bad end.

A whole day had passed and he had yet to get any news of her through his father. As much as he wanted to just go out and find her on his own accord, he knew he just couldn't roam in the city without having any headstart. He needed a hint- a start to begin his pursuit, but he didn't have any and felt that he would go crazy over the time waiting for it.

He knew that she would never visit the tea shop again, but somewhere in his heart he had hoped she would and waited for his phone to ring with a voice that would say, 'Bhaiyya she is here'. But he could only hope. And nothing of that sort happened.

Zeeshan leaned on the wall connecting the window, his hands in his pajama pockets, as he looked over the expanse of what he would call a blessing from his Lord, the beautiful sky. He suddenly chuckled sadly and shook his head as a thought hit his heart.

That Nargis was surely cruel. Leaving a person behind who was willing to protect her and would go crazy over her absence was nothing but cruelty and he would definitely have a fight with her once he finds her and makes her his.

And that thought didn't scare him anymore. To make her, his. He smiled at the possibility of it being true and couldn't stop his heart from beating erratically. Last night had given him much time to think it through and made him realize that he would be content if she comes into his life, permanently. He had realized that his life would gain some momentum, that it would not be so lonely and full of his demons, that he would have someone to keep him sane. He wanted someone to love him and support him the way his ammi does to his father, he wanted someone to care for him and he wanted someone to wake up to after his nightmares, who would provide him with comfort just with her mere presence, which Nargis had done on so many occasions.

Maybe he was being selfish, to bring her into his life for his own selfish reasons. But if he visions himself to be sharing his life with someone, he could not imagine anyone but Nargis. More than that, Nargis needed someone who would love her like she deserved. He was blessed to have been loved all his life, but Nargis? She had never been loved and still was the person to never cry over what she couldn't have, instead was content with what she had. Even after having everything and everyone around him, Zeeshan considered him to be a coward but Nargis was a fighter. She was a brave woman, who didn't think about herself but the others knowing that it could lead to her death. The more he thought about her, the more his respect for her grew and something akin to affection. And with this thought, he discovered yet another revelation.

That he, Zeeshan Dyab was in love with Nargis.

What about her? Did you even think whether she loves you or not or is even close to liking you? What if she doesn't feel the same way?

His thoughts taunted him and he breathed deeply, leaving a sigh.

Then I would make sure she is safe and happy in her life.