The Golden Ruins (High School Series #2)

Chapter 22

"Ito, parang 'di tayo magkaibigan. Okay nga lang!"

My mind drifted back earlier this afternoon. I ran frantically through the crowded streets, my breath ragged and my heart pounding. The city lights blurred around me as I pushed forward, not knowing where I was going, just needing to escape.

I finally collapsed near a humble grocery store, my knees pulled to my chest. At that moment, despite feeling powerless, I also felt strangely free from the weight of my family's expectations and duties.

For the first time, I could breathe.

It was then that I saw Blue, casually picking out fruits and vegetables from the store. Our eyes met, and without hesitation, she walked over and offered her help.

"You don't look so okay," I remarked. I stepped closer to where she was scrubbing the counter. "Is this what you do every day?"

I watched her pace around her house, managing multiple tasks simultaneously. She helped Minna with her assignments, stirred a pot on the stove, washed dishes, and swept the floor. I felt tired just by watching her!

Blue paused for a moment, her hand halting mid-scrub as she chuckled softly. "Oo naman," she replied, her voice carrying a hint of resignation. "Kailangan may gumagalaw dito sa bahay."

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt as I watched her shoulder the burden of responsibility alone. "Do you ever get a break?" I asked softly, gesturing to the pile of dishes waiting to be washed and the never-ending stream of tasks still left to do.

I had spent so much of my life yearning for freedom, believing that those like Cal, who seemed to live without the constraints of wealth and privilege, had it easier. But now, faced with the truth of Blue's reality, I saw that it was so much deeper than that.

Blue chuckled ruefully, shaking her head. "Hindi ganoon kadalas," she admitted. "Pero ganoon talaga, e. Kapag mababa ang kalagayan mo ng buhay, bawal kang manghina. Sigurado akong naiintindihan mo."

While I had the comfort of wealth and security, they faced the relentless pressures of survival each day. It was a reminder of just how sheltered I had been, shielded from the harsh realities that so many faced.

I realized that the life I had been so quick to reject was one that many would give anything to have. The people I had longed to be a part of were the ones who, in truth, longed to live lives like mine. And yet, here I was, trying desperately to fit in with them, oblivious to the irony of my desires.

My breath hitched. "No, I don't... No," I whispered, shaking my head. "But I want to."

It clicked then, why Cal was so mad at me. He saw through my act, my pretending to understand their struggles. He knew I was just a privileged outsider, clueless about real hardship.

I had never known what it meant to fight tooth and nail for every scrap of dignity and respect, to endure hardship and adversity with no respite in sight because I had everything handed to me on a silver platter.

I had been blind to their struggles, too wrapped up in my desires and insecurities to realize that my desire to belong to their world had been nothing more than a naive fantasy. I may try to pretend, but I'll never understand the depth of their experiences.

She immediately paused what she was doing when she noticed the brokenness in my tone. "Anong nangyari, Eli?" she asked.

It was ironic, really—here I was, the social butterfly, the life of the party, with a seemingly endless array of friends and connections. And yet, when it came down to it, I felt utterly and completely alone. At that evening, despite barely knowing Blue, I found pouring my heart into her.