Possibilities // Jacob X Edward

17: Company

It was the last day of school. This was not exactly how Edward wanted to spend it, moping around. Sitting next to Bella wasn't helping either.

He hadn't heard from Jacob since he professed his love for him. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Edward didn't want to hear what Jacob would say. He feared the worst — Jacob ending their friendship completely.

Edward could live with Jacob never reciprocating his love. That was fine. As long as he had Jacob. But as Edward sat at the table with Bella next to him, he worried that maybe he won't ever have Jacob at all.

Edward... wasn't sure how closely he wanted to examine that feeling. It felt too similar. Too close to that bottomless pit of anguish and self-loathing. But dammit, he was different now. He wondered if Jacob's anchor somehow turned into something wrong. Something causing Edward's pain instead of taking it away. He wouldn't know what to do if it was. Jacob was his beacon of light, guiding him to somewhere safe. Home. He didn't want to know what would happen if that changed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down, switching his phone on to be met with his wallpaper. Of them.

The sad smile that broke out on his face wasn't lost on him.

Bella looked over, the sudden light under the table catching her eye. Edward didn't even notice her looking his way, so captured with the picture. She saw it too, the picture of Edward looking drunk and Jacob howling in hysterics. She glanced up to see the longing smile on Edward's face, saw it reach his eyes. Bella had seen the matching picture on Jacob's phone as his wallpaper, too. It was the same smile Edward wore now. It was better in person. He never smiled like that to her.

'Does-... No. No, he wouldn't.'

Bella quickly looked away, continuing her work.

﹌﹌﹌

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up," Jessica said at the podium, presenting her speech.

Graduation.

Edward could hardly believe it. That he was here. Finishing school. He had been through so much, come so far, and he was still here. And now it was over. He was at the finish line. And yet, he felt like he was finishing it alone.

"But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer... Well, how about this? 'Who the hell knows?'" Jessica joked, the auditorium full of people erupting in laughter and applause. Even Edward couldn't help but laugh.

"This isn't the time to make hard-and-fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... A lot," she continued, earning chuckles from everyone. Edward looked down, smiling slightly.

"Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess. We'll know," she finished.

Everyone in the room cheered. Edward considered her words. He didn't like Jessica. But he'll hand it to her, it was a damn good speech. It resonated with him, eased his mind about everything that had happened over the year. It highlighted a lot of what Carlisle had told him that weekend before he went back to school.

Made him more certain than anything about the decisions he made.

Charlie and someone else stood to clap for Bella when she went to take her diploma.

Edward stood up and clapped for her too. She deserved it. She had faced just as much death, pain and loss as he had. He heard some fond and approving thoughts from those around him.