Set Me Free |Jonas Brothers

4

I wave to Joe as we part ways. I head to the bus as he heads over to get ready for his meet and greet before the show.

Sarah and Raegan are seated at the table when I enter the bus. They are both on their phones, not paying attention to each other. Raegan looks over the top of her phone at me and nods. Sarah never even looks my way, which was fine with me.

I head over and grab my stuff out of my bunk and decide to go into the venue early. I like to go into the crowd and check out each vantage point when we go to a new place. We already played here last night, but I didn't get a chance to scope the place out.

We perform at the same venue two days in a row often. Sometimes even three days. Because the first show sells out so quickly, and the fans that didn't get a chance to go get upset. This way, everyone gets a chance to come.

—

The seats and floor are spotless, as if there wasn't just a show last night with confetti covering every inch of the place. I would not want to be one of the people that have to clean this place up after every show.

I didn't even like to clean my old place, and it was just a small studio apartment. It was the only thing I could afford while working my waitressing job. I got by comfortably, but I was mostly miserable. I hated talking to people every day and getting yelled at for stupid stuff that wasn't even my fault. Like when their burgers weren't well done, or their fries weren't crispy enough.

It's not like I was cooking the fucking food.

One day I was on the couch, drowning my sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream and I saw online an add to become a backup singer for the Jonas Brothers. I actually thought it was fake, but the more I looked into it, the more real it became.

I was a fan of the Jonas Brothers growing up. I can remember just before my mother passed away a time where we listened to their album in the car.

And well, I didn't mind singing as long as I wasn't the center of attention. It sounded like the perfect job. I would get to travel, which is something I've always wanted to do. I'd get to sing instead of serve food. Oh yeah, and I'd get to meet the Jonas Brothers.

I didn't even think I'd get the job but.. here I am.

—

The wardrobe selection is slim to none tonight. Raegan and Sarah must have gotten to it first. Usually I would get here sooner, but I was distracted by my arena tour.

We are usually given a certain color we have to wear every night but other than that we can add whatever we want to make it our own.

The color tonight is red, so I decide on the red long sleeved sweater and pray I don't sweat to death, paired with some tight leather pants and boots.

Even though the sweater is a bit more low cut than I'm usually into, I don't hate it. I often avoid wearing red because of my hair color, but it looks decent when I throw my hair up in a high ponytail.

I decide to watch the opening act from the side stage after I get dressed. It's a young girl that won a singing show last year, her name is Trisha Yole. She's really good and I wish I was as brave as her, to sing alone like that. She carry's herself well up on stage. The crowd watches as she runs around, full of energy. They may not sing along to her songs just yet, but they clearly like her and I'm sure she will be even more famous in no time.

When she's almost finished, I make my way down the hall. The boys are going over some stuff with their manager as I walk by. Joe and I make eye contact as I walk by, smiling at each other.

I think back to our afternoon, and feel my heart rate suddenly increase.

Fuck, no.

It's stupid. I just think he's hot. That's all. I don't like him. It would be stupid if I did because...

Number 1.
He definitely doesn't like me like that.

Number 2.
There's no way I could actually be with him. That would involve feelings. And even Joe Jonas isn't going to break down my walls I've worked so hard putting up.

I will not get into another relationship.

—
I'm sweating.

The sweatshirt is too warm.

I feel waves of dizziness and I know I need water.

Why didn't I wear a tee shirt?

I try and focus on Joe, who moves his body to the music, making girls and boys in the crowd scream for him. It doesn't take much at all. And he knows it. He loves it.

I love it.

Fuck, no I do not.

Am I becoming delusional?

It's the lack of water.

Or Joe is so hot that I'm going to pass out.

The dizziness continues and I try to remember that I am prepared for this. We were told this may happen and to causally walk off stage for help. It's not like I have a solo coming up, the other three can carry on without me.

I look at Trent and tap my nose. It's our signal. He nods and I casually go to the side stage, almost falling over when I make it there. A crew member runs to me immediately with a look of concern on his face.

"What's going on?" He asks.

I take out my in ears and let them lay on my shoulders, "I think I'm dehydrated. Very dizzy."

"Sit." He demands and I take a seat on the stairs behind the stage. It's blocked off so no one in the crowd can see me.

God I'm so stupid.

The only drink I can remember having today was that iced coffee and I know better than that. I hope they don't see me as unprofessional.

The crew member brings me a couple of drinks, and a cold towel. I place it on the back of my neck and close my eyes. The show is almost over. I almost made it. But I knew if I stayed out there any longer I may have passed out in front of everyone and that would have been so embarrassing.

I've finished a drink by the time the show is over and I start to feel a little bit better. I stay where I am, because I didn't want the boys or the rest of the crew to see me.

But sure enough, Joe appears from beside me. He came from nowhere, I swear. Or maybe I am still delusional.

Joe furrows his brows at the sight of me. I smile weakly at him. I was hoping he wouldn't see me like this.

"Are you alright?" He hands me a new, freshly chilled towel.

"Ah, thanks." I grab it from him and he takes the old one off of my neck for me. "I was just stupid, didn't drink enough, wore a sweater that's too warm."

"Well you are new to this. You'll get the hang of it." He assures me.

"I'm sorry. Is everyone mad?"

He shakes his head, "Nobody's mad Ruby May, just worried."

Worried about me? I doubt that.

"Well I already feel a bit better." I pick at the label on my water.

His eyes scan my face, as if he's trying to figure out if I'm lying or not. "I was worried about you."

An unfamiliar feeling washes over me, and I feel emotional. I couldn't tell you the last time that someone has said that to me and I believed them. Just the look in Joes eye is enough for me to know he isn't lying.

"I'm okay." I look away from him.

That's a lie. I'm not okay. I haven't been okay in so long, but I can't tell him that.

"Do you want me to walk you to the bus?"

I want him to, deep down I do. But there's no point. I can't let him think that I need him because I don't need anyone.

"I'm all set. But thanks Joe." I finally look at him and he frowns slightly. I've disappointed him, that much I can tell. And for some reason, it makes me feel like shit knowing that I have.