Stairways | A Surviving Summer FanFiction

Part 44 - The Before Times

"So tell me, what did your mum have to say?" You ask, handing Summer a cookie you swiped from the food table. You waited for her to get off the phone with her mum a few hundred yards away from the fundraiser, on a cliff bench overlooking the sea.

"Oh, y'know. Something about her job being more important than her child or whatever," Summer shrugs, sitting down next to you and taking a bite of the cookie before handing it to you to share. "But hey, at least I'm not about to go kill myself by surfing a massive wave." she says loudly, sarcastically.

"I can't back out now." you say, "Marlon would kill me before I get killed by a wave."

"Marlon's an idiot for letting you surf it." she mutters in response.

"What, you think I need to be protected by my older brother?" you say with a satirical tone.

"No, I just meant he's gonna be absolutely humiliated when you rip it up out there." she jokes.

"So, one minute you say I'm going to get killed and the next I'm a world-class surfer?" you respond, laughing. Summer always has a way of making everyone laugh, and it's making you forget what you're about to do. "Make up your mind!"

"Oh, I should make up my mind? Why are you even doing this, Y/n? You obviously don't really want to, otherwise you'd be out there now, not delaying it by sitting here with me with your hands shaking from nerves."

You look down at your hands in your lap; you didn't even realise they were shaking. Willing them to stop just makes you tense even more, and you try to distract yourself by proving Summer wrong.

"Well, actually, the best time for the jump is 3 pm, so that's why I'm not out there now," you say, (Summer interrupts with a sarcastic "ohhh, right") "And I'm shaking because believe it or not you can be nervous for things you still really want to do." you say, knowing that you sound the least genuine and convincing you've ever sounded in your life. The truth is, you're terrified.

"You still haven't explained why you're doing it though."

"Me and Marlon made a pact last year. It was like, a month after what happened at Stairway. Once we knew that Ari was going to be okay, it just...I don't know, seemed like the right thing to do."

Summer paused. "How could that ever be the right thing to do?"

"I just need to move on, y'know? To feel like it's finally over." you say.

"But, what if you can't surf it? What if it's too much? Just break the pact, Y/n."

"I can't! Griff and his friends have already pulled out, and if I do too, Marlon will be alone."

"So? Let him go." Summer says carelessly.

"You don't understand, Summer. What happened last year, it really messed him up. He has this thing where he blames himself for what happened, because he didn't jump and Ari did. He thinks he needs to 'beat' Stairway or something."

"Y'know, I've been here for like five weeks or something now, and this whole 'don't mention the before times' thing is getting really old. Can you just tell me what happened last year?"

You suppose Summer has a right to know, after all, she's right: you and the others always mention Stairway, but it's always just subtle hints, flitting references; Summer doesn't know much.

"Okay, but don't tell Marlon I told you this stuff, yeah?"

"You have my word." she says, still smiling.

"Well, it was about this time last year, I remember the night before it happened I heard Marlon on the phone to Ari, and I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when I woke up Marlon was gone. And I just assumed he'd gone out for a normal early-morning surf, y'know?" you swallow, feeling the guilt creep in. "So I just sat for like four hours in my pyjamas waiting for him to come home. When he didn't, my mum sent me to the surf club to find him, assuming he was there with the others. And when I got there, I think I only said a quick 'hello' to Bodhi and Poppy when Marlon came in, dripping wet without his board, or Ari, saying they'd tried to surf Stairway and that Ari had gotten hurt but he'd already got help."

"That's intense." Summer mutters, her smile vanishes.

"Then none of us knew what to do with ourselves. I thought I'd make myself useful and see if the Gibsons needed help, and I caught them just as they were leaving and said I'd watch Honey for them. She just cried all night and I didn't know what to do until Thommo came back to get her."

You laugh sadly, thinking aloud, "Y'know, a while ago I told all this stuff to Ari and I thought we got closer. Now Stairway is just tearing us apart again."

"Well, I get why none of you want to mention the 'before times'."

"Yeah. And after all that we just abandoned Ari for a year." you say incredulously.

"Hey, that wasn't your fault. That one was your idiot brother's." she replies jokingly.

"Yeah he told me that Ari didn't want any visitors, but why didn't I question it, Summer?" you ask, still in disbelief at yourself for you actions last year - they were inexcusable. And you know that it was technically Marlon's fault, but you could have gone and seen Ari anyway - since when did you do what your brother tells you to?

"There's no point in beating yourself up about it now. It's done. You've all made up with Ari now - in your case you've more than made up but that's not the point - you don't have to surf Stairway to, like, erase your past mistakes."

"I know," you sigh, "but I'm doing it anyway. I just need to," you stand up after checking your phone. "It's nearly 3 o'clock. I'll see you later, Summer."

You pick up your board and wetsuit, preparing to head to where you and Marlon are meeting, when you hear a determined voice from just behind you.

"Wait...I'm coming with you."