Aftermath ✧ Sebastian Sallow

chapter thirty-eight

Ominis' Perceptive

"Please, just take the damned memory back." Sebastian sighed into the table at the Grand Hall. 

"I don't want it back." I reminded him. 

If it was true that I wanted to report Amelia and possibly have her sent to Azkabam, then perhaps it was for the best that Sebastian stopped me. Amelia was officially our best and last hope at saving Anne, but I couldn't tell Sebastian that yet. 

He had already confessed to everything the next morning once the Veritaserum had worn off. Taking back my memory didn't change anything besides the possibility that it might make me give up on curing Anne. 

It was officially winter break and most of the students had already cleared the castle and returned home. It had been a week since he confessed privately to taking my memory while the story of the breakup had seemed to spread like wildfire elsewhere. Sebastian was rather dismissive on the topic of Adelaide when I attempted to bring it up and instead kept attempting to force me to take the memory back. 

Since the breakup with Adelaide, he had mainly just gone back to not sleeping and hiding away in the dorms all day. It took the promise of the mostly empty castle to get him to join me in going to the Grand Hall. I suspected that it was his guilt eating him away.  

Sebastian's leg bounced nervously under the table shaking everything gently around us. I felt awful for him, but it would only be a few more days until he'd understand. 

"Have you heard from Amelia at all?" I asked, "I have to leave for London soon. I thought she'd be back by now."

"I thought so too." Sebastian said coldly with his head still resting on top of the table, "I haven't heard from her since the whole Veritaserum incident. Hecat told me that she was pulled from classes by the Ministry. But I haven't heard anything since." 

I went back to fiddling with the food on my plate. I was too anxious at the thought of having to go home to eat. Sebastian hadn't bothered to even pretend to eat or make a plate for himself. Going to the Grand Hall felt like a habit to pretend everything was normal. 

"Does Amelia know that you took a memory from me?" I asked, slightly worried about the answer. 

"She doesn't," Sebastian quickly confirmed. 

There was no need for Veritaserum to know that it wasn't a lie. When I confronted her she was so willing to hand over her own memory to help me, only a fool would know the truth and still offer. 

"And I rather not tell her if that's alright with you," He spoke up after a moment. 

"Why not?" I asked.

"At first I wanted to tell her. She saved me from the same fate before and told me. I felt like I should have done the same for her," He said low against the table, "But she didn't steal anything from you. I don't know what she could have possibly said to you to change your mind. It felt like nothing I could tell you was going to change your mind and it scared me. I panicked. I wish I never did it and I'm sorry. Please just take it back."

It wasn't that I didn't want my memory back. I was afraid to take it back. 

Amelia had become one of my closest friends. She trusted me and I was quick to betray her. I watched Sebastian spiral out of control over the course of months before he killed Soloman. Amelia had talked me out of reporting him and I was thankful I listened to her. It was difficult to believe over the course of hours my mind had been utterly changed about her. I was terrified by the information I didn't know. 

"I don't want it, Sebastian," I lied once more, "Is that why you didn't tell her? Because you want me to just take it back like nothing happened?"

"No, of course not. I didn't tell her because I didn't want to make her upset." He confessed empathically. There was something about his tone that made me feel like it was coming from his own experience.