Past and Present

Shoes and Rings

"What did you just say to me?" I asked.

He turned his head away from me and spoke, "You heard what I said."

I just stared at him while he stared at the wall. Neither of us spoke  word. The room was filled with awkwardness that I just couldn't stand.

I never thought that anything like that would ever be said to me. I thought that Carl loved me. I thought that he would always love me. I thought that I would always love him. I forgave him after all the shit that he pulled.

I cleared my throat, "Is that truly how you feel?"

He turned back to me, a look of stone cold truth on his face, "It's what I said."

I looked around the room, trying to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"Is that right?"

I leaned down and pulled off my shoe. I aimed it at the injured boy's head and threw. It landed with a smack and Carl jumped.

"Is that right?  I gave you everything, and you'd rather be with her?"

I reached back down and pulled the knife out of my other boot and held it in my other hand while I chucked the other boot at Carl.

This time, he was expecting it, so he caught the shoe before it hit him again.

"After all of the crap that I had to deal with?"

The family must have heard the arguing or the sound of me throwing shoes, because Daryl opened the door to the room and the whole family spilled inside, baring weapons.

"What's going on in here?" Rick asked as everyone realized that there were no walkers and lowered their weapons.

"Jocelyn, I-" Carl started.

I put my hands up and bowed my head with a mock smile on my face, "You know what? It's all good. I'm perfectly fine. Go ahead, be with her. But just know this, you lost a really special girl because you're a complete and utter asshole who didn't take a second to realize that your dick was up your ass and there was a knife in my boot."

I took the knife that I was holding and threw it so that it lodged itself into the wooden headboard of the bed and had just nicked Car's ear.

I turned and ran off. Out of the house. Out of the neighborhood and away from the people that I just couldn't be around right now.

I ran all the way to my old neighborhood and to the Triangle to just get away to a place that I knew would be safe from people.

As I sat down on my old rock, I buried my face in my knees and let out loud sobs. I honestly couldn't believe anything that had happened. Carl had always been really sweet, even though he had the temper of  six year old. I had loved him and it hurt that he had said that ten fucking minutes with Lily had been better than the year that we had been together.

I heard a rustling come from the bushes and dug the gun out of my belt that Carl was too ignorant to see when I came back into the house.

A walker stepped through the trees and snarled. I didn't hesitate a moment before pulling the trigger and watching the thing fall to the ground.

The bushes rustled again and I pointed gun in that direction.

I lowered my weapon and wiped the tears again when I saw familiar face of Key.

I should have figured that she and Stevan would find out where I went. They knew me all too well and knew that I would come here. What they didn't know was that I wanted to be alone. 

"Guys, I just want to be alone. Just go back home and tell them that I'm fine and I'll be back in a little while."

Key looked around with a confused look on her face, "Who's guys? It's just me."

I looked behind her and saw that Stevan wasn't with her.

"Why are you here?" I asked her.

"Well," she started as she sat down on the rock, "You kinda threw a knife at your boyfriend's head."

"Ex," I said as the tears started to fall down my face.

I explained what had happened ad with each exchange of conversation, the tears fell even harder.

"I just don't understand." I said I finally broke. Key came over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I know that the last thing you want to d is go back him an be around that little-" she stopped and tried to lower her rising tone. "I thin you should go back. Let Carl be with that girl. If that's what he wants, then he just lowered his standards cause he was foolish to give you up."

I led and then we got up, brush off our clothes, and started to walk back home.

As  walked up the driveway, Carl was limping down and met me half way.

Key opened her mouth to say something , but I stopped her."It's alright. I got it."

Key glared at Carl and he turned to me.

"Jocelyn, I-"

"Carl, I don't want to here it anymore."

I looked down and head allowed my eyes.

Carl was another person that could read me to well. He looked back to me and shook his head.

"No-"

I shook me head again,"I'm sorry. I can't do it anymore. I gotta go my own way."

I think it may have been the second hardest thing that I ever had to do. Next to telling him that I didn't love him.

I took off the ring that he had given me, placed it in his palm said, I'm done. Give it to someone you truly love, and walked away.

Alrighty, that was supposed to be intense. Pretty sure it wasn't, but let me know. I want to ask a favor of all of you. Check out my sister on Vine and Instagram. Also I want to thank all of you  for reading my story. ☺☺☺

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