Make it stop!

chapter 27

...

He was so angry at himself. Because who the fuck would be as ungrateful as he was, feeling empty after a party? The world did him a favour and yet here he was; being selfish.

What a fucking dick.

Bakugo leaned against the window, rain droplets fell from dark clouds above with the occasional thunder. Breaking into sobs, he slid down the window, curling in on himself.

"I try to hide it but I know you know me." The song beamed.

"WHY CAN'T I FEEL FUCKING HAPPY?!" He screamed, shivered, struggled to breathe. It was the least that mattered, above all. He loathed himself for not even being happy for what his friends did, they went out of their own fucking way to make him feel good and now he feels greedy - empty again. It led to him understanding... oh, how he deserved death. It was what he deserved, they shouldn't be with someone whose so villain-like. Maybe that Shinso kid could replace him.

"I'll always be less than zero."

The electronic disco beats that came from his phone burned into his brain, it made him fall against the painted wall with screams.

"I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. NO, I CANT SHAKE THIS FEELING THAT CRAWLS IN MY BED."

He squeaked as his body begged for air but what was the point in that? If he was strong, he should starve his lungs, punish his body for not knowing basic gratitude.

The song mumbled, he couldn't hear his teacher. How he tried to get his attention, but Bakugo laid there limbless, eyes blurred. If he was dying then maybe this was meant to be. The party made him happy enough to be miserable to die. He was dissociated from the world, only a song going over and over to torture him. Making him feel so... vulnerable. His fucking weakness.

"I TRY TO FIGHT IT BUT I WOULD RATHER BE FREE."

The boy whimpered like a child who lost his mother, unable to formulate words. Lord knows he tried. The patting sensation he felt on his head did help slightly to ground him but it was far from enough.

Aizawa kept Bakugo close to him, very gently placing the blonde next to him on the couch. He latched on to Aizawa with his life, gripping to his shirt until his knuckles turned white. With one hand patting the petrified student, he looked over his contacts. Since the introduction of dorms, it is by rules that teachers have their student's numbers, incase they need quick contact. He pondered which student would be best to help Bakugo recover from this state he worked himself into. It would be unlikely that many knew, however that problem kid Midoriya did know him since childhood so he's the best option.

"Come to my dorm, I'll explain later." Aizawa quickly hung up, not wanting to waste any more time. He was undoubtedly impressed though by how quick his student was, taking less than a minute to arrive.

He opened the door and saw Midoriya panting madly as if he ran a marathon, it was close enough. He let his student inside and gave him a few seconds to recapture his breath before explaining.

"Okay... what's the matter, sensei?"

"I think Bakugo is experiencing a form of panic attack."

Aizawa was prepared to explain further but saw no need as the boy hurried over to Bakugo. He slowly kneeled next to him and mumbled some words before pulling him into his arms.

"It's okay. It's me, Izuku. You're safe, Kacchan." Midoriya rubbed soft circles on the other's back.

It took about five minutes and their teacher had given them space. Bakugo blinked a few times recognising the green sheep-like hair that was near. "Izuku...?" He coughed out.

"Yes, it's me. You're okay, we're okay." They both breathed deeply together until Midoriya was comfortable with the breathing rate Bakugo had.

Aizawa returned. "How is he?"

"He's calmer."

Aizawa sat down on the couch, Midoriya helped his friend up to join their teacher.

"I've got to thank you kid, I was worried he wouldn't calm down any time soon."

"You're welcome!"

Bakugo yawned in exhaustion after the meltdown he had.

"I better go, Kacchan seems tired!" Midoriya chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

He couldn't stand, feeling his shirt caught. He looked down and met Bakugo's wide eyes. It was a bizarre moment.

"Uh, Kacchan?"

"..." Bakugo mumbled but it couldn't be heard.

"Hm?"

"Stay."

"Oh, uh- Sensei?"

"Sure, I can get a sleeping bag for you. But is that okay with you, kiddo?"

"Yeah, it's okay. I'm already in clothes to sleep in."

Aizawa nodded and left. The three went to the guest room and saw a sleeping bag next to the bed. Their teacher left them to it. Bakugo went under his blankets, not bothering to face the greenette. He was comforted enough to know that his friend was there. Just incase.

"Goodnight Kacchan..."

Bakugo planted his head into the pillow, ready to have a long sleep after the exhausting day. "Night nerd."