𝙀𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙃𝙞𝙢 |18+

Visit

We stood in front of Brenda's house after leaving the house to burn, we figured one of the neighbors will call someone, just to have my moment.

Someone definitely saw us. My mind was scattered in so much places I just didn't know anymore.

(Play: way down we go by KALEO)

"Are you a caretaker or a family member of the owner who lives here?" I clicked back to my senses to the man dressed in uniform in front of me.

"Um yes, caretaker sorta more of a neighbor" I barely finish the sentence when my breath became hitch and unsteady until my gaze reach his gaze before he started writing on the yellow notepad.

Suddenly all the memories from the restaurant with Brenda where I first met her, to having tea with her to running off again came flooding in. I felt my lips became dry as well as my mouth.

My heart picked up a steadier rate, as he clicked his pen. "Come with me."

Following him back to his car, leaving everyone behind. We headed to the hospital.

_______

"Here," he gently whispered as he held the door for me. My eyes were stuck on Brenda laying in her bed. Tubes in each nostril and others that lie against her pale arms.

I always had a soft spot for old people. I genuinely believe that's the bare minimum of humanity.

But Brenda, she was different. I just felt like she was in a way home.

She welcomed me into her house, with amazing food, and a bed to sleep in. And I took it all for granted.

I covered my mouth has I gently sobbed. She was the first person in the past few years that made me feel safe. Made me feel like I matter. Made me feel seen.

I walked up to her bed as the officer walked away with his coffee in his hand. I looked at her.

She was beautiful.

Growing up, I had this one art teacher that changed my perspective as a kid.

Humans are art.

I admire her small wrinkles on her face and the small little scar on the bottom of her chin. I brushed her soft hair back just waiting for her to open her eyes.

Her fingernails were painted pink but was coming off.
Her finger twitches every six minutes. Her skin look so soft. Lips were pink but fading and dry. I hate dry lips.

I don't think I'll ever get along with dry lips. Imagine going on a date with a guy and he leans in with his chap lips, ew.

I was sleep deprived. My sleep schedule I never had was fucked. I could feel my hair roots hurting, and I bit onto my nails.

Charlotte walks in and wraps me with her arms. "How you holding up?"

Truth is, I feel stupid for caring for Brenda as much as I do. I feel guilty, she was just trying to take care of me, and I left.

Sometimes I think I'm in some sort of way like my parents, which I absolutely hate. The last thing on this planet earth, is wanting to be like my parents above all people.

"I'm fine" which didn't even sound convincing enough even for me.

Why does bad things keep happening?

"I got you love." She squeezes me tighter before we both walk out to meet the other.

I glance back one more time before walking out. "I'm going to grab a snack, I'll be back." I walked the other direction they were in before anyone said anything.

I'm not even sure if this is away but all I know now is that I'm lost.

I read all the walls my eyes laid on while looking around. I see people who looks like they were on the edge. Some rested their heads on others, while others slept on a single chair.

A women sobbed in her husband's jacket while the girl rest in her lap. As doctors and nurses go in and out of the rooms, in a way it eases me.

Helping people.

I couldn't help but think of my parents. They didn't help people like how people should.

People help people.

I wanna help people.