Most Likely (high school reunion Stucky fic)

Nineteen

Laughing so hard that he was just wheezing and tears building in his eyes, Steve grasped as his middle. Breathlessly accusing, "No way did that happen!"

"I promise it is! I wouldn't lie to you!"

Attempting to keep a straight face, Steve just watched at him for a while. But Bucky just barreled through. "Bianca was so devastated about that poor dead squirrel that we went and got it taxidermied, and she dragged it along on a little leash for months."

"Oh, god, I'm so going to hell for finding this funny," Steve broke out into more laughter.

Bucky raised his iced tea in a toast, "I'll be riding shotgun."

Shaking his head, Steve asked, "How did she even get so attached to a squirrel?"

"What, ya got wax build up in your ears?" Bucky teased, earning a balled up napkin being thrown at him. He didn't mind as he repeated, "Mr. Peebs was practically a part of our family. Always comin' up to our deck and eating the bird seed. It was a sad day for all of us."

Tossing his head back, Steve's laughter continued. Bucky wasn't sure how he had gone so long without hearing it. Sure, he was an idiot and a coward, but how could he ever not miss this man sitting across from him?

"What? Like your kids aren't weird?" Bucky joked, effectively getting the blond to calm and settle. With the sheepish look that took over his face, Bucky's interest was piqued, "Okay, spill. What's something weird that your kids have done?"

"Oh, god," Steve chuckled, taking a drink of his refilled lemonade. Thinking, "I don't even know where to start."

"Start wherever you'd like," Bucky assured, "I've got all day, doll."

Smiling – no, beaming at Bucky, Steve took a quiet moment to just look at the brunet while he thought. For that moment, Bucky felt serene. Felt more at peace than he had in the past two and a half decades. He felt as though he could finally breathe, deeply and fully.

"Okay," Steve started. Taking a quick drink, he set the glass down and said, "When Alice was six, she wanted a baby sister. Now, Pegs and I had already been divorced by that point, but Alice was adamant that she deserved a baby sister."

Bucky chuckled and Steve continued, "At first, she told people that I was going to have a baby. Assuming that – thanks to her older siblings – that all someone needed to do to have a baby was to really want to and to eat seeds."

"Seeds?" Bucky quirked a brow, "What kind of seeds?"

"Any kind. Didn't matter if it was pumpkin, watermelon, or sunflower. A seed was a, well, seed in her logic.

"So, she caught me eating pumpkin seeds and got so excited that she told her teacher, 'my daddy is having a baby.'"

"No," Bucky exaggerated while chuckling.

"Mhm," Steve confirmed. "And that's not even the weirdest part."

Bucky tapped Steve's leg with his foot, impatiently suggesting, "Well, out with it."

"Okay, okay." Playfully, he rolled his eyes, "So, after we sat her down and told her that no one was having a baby, she was crushed. But that was also around the time when Peggy started dating. And poor little Alice had overheard her siblings wondering about if their mom got married, if she'd have another guy's baby.

"So, there we were, back at square one. Only, different because she told her teacher, 'my mommy is dating so she can take someone's baby.'"

"Well, that wasn't where my mind went," Bucky chuckled, finishing off his tea.

"Oh, yeah. That was definitely an awkward conversation to have with my colleagues."

All Bucky could do was laugh. It reminded him of when they were kids and Steve would beg his parents for a sibling.

"What? Your kids didn't want any other siblings?" Steve good-naturedly teased.

"Enola wanted ten," Bucky claimed, remembering choking on his after bedtime cookies and milk, just like Steve was choking on his lemonade now. Bucky's brows furrowed in concern, but Steve immediately waved him off. Just like the punk always used to.

Deciding to keep talking so he had something to do, and Steve didn't feel like he was hovering, Bucky continued, "Bianca didn't want any. Vienna, though, wanted a brother, which she got a few years ago."

"Yeah?" Steve asked briefly before coughing again, still trying to recover.

Bucky nodded, "Yeah, Nat and Rick have Nadia, eight, and Nikolai, four."

"I haven't been around a toddler in years," Steve sighed, wistfully.

Growing up together, Bucky knew that Steve wanted to be a dad. Always claiming that he wanted to be just like his own father. And since Bucky grew up around Joe Rogers, he knew why Steve wanted to be like him. After all, Bucky wanted to be just like the man's best friend and his own dad, George Barnes.

"You miss it?" Bucky assumed, picturing Steve with his kids when they were toddlers. Imagining the kids on his broad shoulders and playing dress up.

"Sometimes."

Playfully, Bucky narrowed his eyes. He had always known a Steve Rogers bluff when he heard one. Thankfully, some things didn't change, and Steve caved.

"Alright," Steve shook his head, a smile on his face. "Of course, I miss it. All the cuddles and seeing the world through them as they learn new things? That stuff is the best. And now I've got two teenagers and two tweens, all of which would rather be with their friends."

Bucky could relate. He'd been there three times. "It's never easy. The happiest and saddest day is when you realize that you did your job as a parent. When Enola moved out, I was a wreck for about a week because I knew she could get by on her own. Sure, she'd always need me because I'm her dad, but it wasn't the same."

Reaching across the table, Steve gave his hand a comforting squeeze. Bucky could feel all those emotions building up in him. The feelings he felt when Enola moved out, like pride and fear. But also, the feelings he tried to bury at abandoning Steve, like guilt and longing. Because this, right here with Steve comforting him and empathizing with him, that was what he had needed and deprived himself of. No, deprived them of. He took that away from Steve too.

"God, Stevie, I'm so sorry."

Steve's brows furrowed, "For...?"

"Everything," Bucky said, caressing Steve's knuckles with his thumb. "I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for not being there by your side."

"I hope you will," Steve squeezed his hand again. "I know it's not going to be easy – for either of us – but I want to be in your life, and I want you to be in mine."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Good," Bucky let out a breath of relief. He never thought that he'd hear that. Quickly, he confirmed, "I want that too."

"Well, I would hope so!" Teasing, "You're stuck with me now."

His grin grew, "Sounds like torture."