Let's Fall Together

1. My fall from grace

I was a prisoner to the idea of freedom.

There was no other way to describe why I depended so much on the thought of being independent.

The thought of making my own coffee in the morning, before my mother made it for me, woke me up everday.
The idea of being able to finish my presentation without taking my brother's opinion about it enticed me.
The habbit of asking my bestfriend's opinion on my outfit of the day was really annoying. My need to see a pleased smile on my father's face before I slept was what made this needy bitch conclude it was a day well spent.

Though I couldn't find a way to change it.

I knew it was how everything's supposed to be but a sick part of my heart still craved to live in a apartment by myself, with a pet to keep me company, just like the prim and proper lead lady of one of those Hollywood movies. I knew it was extremely stupid of me to think so, but the idea got me excited everytime it crossed my mind.

And it was one of the thoughts that influenced my decision to take this job up. The job that would take me hundreds of kilometers away from my hometown.

Unknown and exciting.

While I was having this monologue in my head I was actually standing at the airport, waiting for my luggage. I've been having these thoughts the entire flight. An unknown feeling kept making me restless.

I thought it was the adrenaline. But I concluded it was my fear.

Being away from the place you've practically spent your entire life in, including your childhood, makes your heart clench at the longing while altogether questioning the choices you made.

I'm afraid because it's new. Not because I'm wrong.

My attempt at comforting myself ended when the sight of a familiar blue bag got my feet moving in it's direction. As I got hold of my bag, my eyes began wandering in search of the exit.

The outside of the airport was nothing sort of what I had expected. There were no paparazzi ready to snap a celebrity or reporters to interview them. Mumbai was the centre of glamour and fashion. At least that's what I had concluded based on the internet and newspaper.

Oh how a small part of me had actually anticipated to run into a hotshot actor or cricketor.

What a wastage of a good outfit.

I heaved a sigh and walked towards the parking area. With each step, my smile faltered as I felt the life I planned in my head turn out to be mere wishes that were too silly to become my reality.

My bubble of hope brutally poped when my phone tinged with a ding. It was a message from an unknown number.

I've reached. Waiting in the parking area.

I hung my head low, not really wanting to accept my fate.

I could practically see my dream of becoming independent shattering like a glass. A glass I dropped. A glass that would probably make me bleed when I step on it.

Freedom is but an illusion

My aching heart echoed the words. The echo would fade, like no voice was ever made, but the aching in my heart would never go. I know I brought this upon myself, but still.

Enough of your melodramatic ass, find the car before you have to hurt your ass walking to the house.

The voice inside my head was just like my grandma, mean but true.

My heart took me back to the time I lost my one chance at Independence after almost having it in my hand.

I remembered how happy I was that my parents finally let me take up this job, I literally decided to distribute sweets among the neighborhood, I was that happy.