The Lonely Hearts Club

Chapter 7: Shame (Bree)

On Friday night I took the bouquet of flowers out of the basket and dumped them in an unused vase.

I watered them and stared at them until the petals started to wilt.

On Saturday afternoon, I stacked the books on my dining room table.

He bought me ten books.

Two romances, two classics, two thrillers, two about poetry, and two fantasy novels-just to make sure there would be at least one I'd enjoy.

On Sunday morning I lit every single candle individually and smelled them all.

There were eight in total, all the colors of the rainbow.

Red is rose-scented, orange is tangerine, yellow is lemongrass, green is peppermint, blue is blueberry, pink is cotton candy, purple is grape and white is vanilla.

Each of them smell so good.

On Monday, I opened two jewelry boxes.

There was an expensive diamond bracelet with a heart clasp in one, and a heart signet ring with a pink gemstone in the other.

On Tuesday, I opened the last jewelry box to see a crystal heart necklace.

I put it on.

On Wednesday, I washed the pink fluffy blanket and wrapped it around myself all day, sitting on my lounge and looking at the front door, waiting for his knock.

On Thursday I guiltily stacked the six movies (romance, thriller, comedy, action, coming of age, and horror) on the mantel where a TV should go.

I'm convinced he bought me DVDs because I blamed my breakdown on an imaginary TV show meaning he assumed I had a TV.

Friday is today and I've accepted that he is not coming back to visit me.

The feeling settles in my stomach like a stone.

I take off the necklace and bundle everything back into the huge basket, then I stash it in the corner of my living room.

I am ashamed of myself.

I spent a week waiting for Hades, stupidly expecting him to visit me.

Of course, he wasn't going to.

It's pathetic that I ever thought he would.

I think this is for the best.

I don't have anyone in my life.

I don't have family or friends I can visit or invite over-not that anyone would want to visit Ice Apartments, it's a disastrous building.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

Becoming attached to a random stranger is pitiful.

Hades is probably making fun of me with his friends.

Besides, now I have bigger things to worry about.

Last Friday I was sent human fecal matter; I wonder what delight Rowan is going to send to my door today.

Probably something equally as lovely.

I stare at myself in the mirror, noticing my protruding eyebags and sallow skin.

I miss the feeling of sunlight on my face, the feeling of my skin warming underneath the rays, the feeling of a gentle breeze...

I miss the smell of crisp, fresh air. It's been so long; I can't really remember what it smells like.

Even if I open my windows all I can smell is smoke and the fumes from the dumpster.

The roof is slanted meaning I hardly get any sunlight through the glass either.