Life Goes On

Chapter 4: No Secrets

Sebastian looked at me, his eyes pleading but he didn't press further. 

"What do you want to talk about?" His voice shook slightly as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and looked at me intensely.

Was he trying to distract me? If he tried, I was sure he could easily sway me. 

"Seb, I... With everything that's happened, I've struggled to find the right words... "

Sebastian shook his head, "Oh I'm.. I'm sorry I didn't intend to make assumptions, or pressure you into anything you didn't want... " His eyes were hurt. 

"What!? No! You didn't pressure me, I... I wanted you... I've wanted you for a long time." My voice broke, I struggled to find the words or the courage to continue my sentence feeling my stomach sinking.

"I'm sorry, I'm...confused." He said, his eyes desperately searching for an answer in mine.

"Seb I... want you, but... I also.. I think I also have feelings for... Ominis." I looked away from him in shame, how selfish could I be? Sebastian was likely feeling the worse pain in his life, and here I was confessing that I might have feelings for two men.

Sebastian's eyebrows raised, "You, want us... Both?" He grabbed my chin tilting my face toward him, forcing me to make eye contact, my face suddenly became hot.

Tears started forming, I was struggling to keep them at bay as I bit my lip, anxiety filled my whole body. This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid for so long. Surely, our friendship would be hurt by this. I wasn't sure if I should've said anything at all, perhaps it would've been best to just deny him and ask him to leave things as they were before for all our sakes.

Sebastian ran his thumb over my lips, he kissed them lightly. "Should we talk to Ominis?" He looked back up at my eyes sheepishly.

"What? You must be mental!" I exclaimed my body starting to desperately draw air, I started hyperventilating at the thought of confessing my love to Ominis and to follow that with what? 'Hey, I love the two of you, do you want to make some sort of love triangle?'

Sebastian laughed gently, it felt so good to see him smile but I felt embarrassed. "Ominis loves you as much as I do," he said confidently rolling onto his back and placing his arm behind his head.

"What are you talking about?" Intrigued, I sat up crossing my legs under me.

Sebastian let out a loud sigh. "It's pretty obvious, you know? Considering all the incredible things you have accomplished in your first year at Hogwarts and how good you are at catching on to things, I'm surprised that this went under your radar." He waved a hand dismissively as if it was truly as obvious as he pointed out.

What the hell was he talking about now? How long had he known this? Did that mean he made a move on me with this knowledge? What was his end game here? I suddenly realized his eyes staring intently at me as if trying to read my mind. I started to speak before he let out another sigh.

"For Merlin's sake, how are you blinder than he is? He so obviously loves you. If I didn't know any better I'd say he loves you more than me!" He exclaimed, another laugh escaping him.

"What... How... How long have you known this?"

Sebastian's eyes became serious, suddenly looking away from mine and back up at the ceiling. "Ominis has always had it so hard, worse than all of us. When you came into our lives, his eyes brightened up like they never have before. I could've sworn he had seen the sky for the very first time. He's always beaming when he's around you, even though he's the one who can't see, he's always looking after you. Always at the ready for you. You can sway him in ways that no one else can, not even me, and I've been best friends with him since we were kids."

Suddenly I felt my heart sinking deep into the pit of my stomach. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I felt. For sleeping with Sebastian, giving myself up to him. How could I be this awful to the two people I'd grown to love the most in this world.

"Stop going into your head, tell me what you're thinking. " He said, interrupting my anxious stream of thought and lifting my hand to his lips and kissing it tenderly.

"I... I don't know what to do. Seb, I really love both of you. I have for a long time, and I'm afraid of what confessing those feelings will do to our friendship. I promised myself I would never bring this up, never let it get in the way of our friendship. I... I don't know that I could live without either of you, and when I go to bed at night, I can't help but wonder what would happen if I asked you both to stay here with me... in my bed." I looked away again, I couldn't believe I had just said all of that. Surely they would both be ashamed to have feelings for someone who couldn't choose between the two, who didn't want to choose.

"Wait here. " Before I could say a word Sebastian leapt out of my bed. Too startled to think or react, I sat there for a few minutes, my brain struggling to process anything.

"Sebastian, what in Merlin's name do you think you're doing? " I heard Ominis annoyingly asking as Sebastian pushed him into my room and toward my bed. My eyes widened, my lips struggling to form any words. I swallowed hard.

"Ominis, there's something you should hear." Sebastian gestured toward me "This is important," he urged raising his eyebrows and nodding his head to me, urging me on.

"What are you... What.. what the hell?!?" My whole brain was in panic mode, what was I supposed to say? 

"Are you ok?" Ominis asked, concern suddenly flooding his face as he approached me and searched for my hand.

"I'm ok Omi, I'm sorry... I... I'm struggling to put the words together." I lifted my hand up to grab his instinctively.

Ominis pulled my hand to his lips to kiss it. "You can talk to me, you can tell me anything." He smiled gently, his eyes darting around with anxiety.

"Omi, I...," fuck, what was I doing? "I love you."

Suddenly Ominis's lips were on mine. Had I passed out? What had happened in the last 30 seconds? 

Ominis put his hand behind my neck pulling me in aggressively against himself. A gentle moan escaped me, I tried hard to hold it back but sitting here on my bed, Ominis kissing me and Sebastian looking at us, my thighs quivered.

Ominis suddenly pulled away "Oh, Darling! I'm sorry... I... I had been waiting so long to hear you say that.. I just...couldn't help myself." I could see his face starting to blush, anxiety suddenly breaking his confidence.

I was at a loss for words, what exactly was Sebastian's goal by bringing Ominis and have me confess my feelings to him?

"Ominis, mate, there's something else you need to hear." Sebastian urged, looking over at me to continue.

Shit. He was literally throwing me in front of the train here. My heart raced and the room started to spin a little but at this point, I probably needed to just come clean. "I... Uh... Ominis.... I love... I think I... I love... Sebastian as well."

Ominis nodded. "I know."

"You know?!" I exclaimed as I jumped off out of bed. Had these two just completely gone mad? Was I such an open book? 

"Darling, the last two years with you... they have been wonderful. You've changed our lives in ways we never could have predicted. We are so happy you're in our lives and could never repay you for the joy and peace you have brought to us. There is so much ahead in our lives, but with you here, I... I feel invincible."

My heart skipped a beat. I threw my arms around Ominis and kissed him eagerly.