Life Goes On

Chapter 7: A Keen Sense of Pain

I sunk into the hot water up to my nose. I could still see the fear in Sebastian's eyes every time I closed mine. I looked at my hands, distorted under the water. I wasn't in control.

I had been having similar nightmares ever since the fight against Ranrok at Hogwarts. I dreaded the loss of Fig, he had such faith in my ability to wield this ancient power, and yet all I could do as he faded away was hold him in my arms and watch him die. 

I exhaled, steam rose toward my face and I let my self sink fully into the water. Maybe I should just stay here, under the water, where I couldn't hurt or disappoint those I loved. I closed my eyes wondering if that was the best decision I could make for myself and those around me.

Just then an arm grabbed mine and pulled me up out of the water, I inhaled loudly.

"Ophelia, are you alright?" Ominis's eyes frantically darted around.

"Yes I'm fine, sorry I just..."

Ominis shook his head "It's ok...you, you don't need to explain. I know that the last few days have been a lot. Let me get you a towel." Ominis helped me to step out of the bath and to dry off. He walked me over to my room and helped me to the chair by my vanity. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked, his eyes gentle but worried.

"No, I'm alright, I know you had some work to do today. Please, don't concern yourself with me."
Ominis had been working with business owners around the area, helping them to better adjust their stores and goods for witches and wizards that may have similar disabilities to himself. I knew he'd fallen behind on some appointments with the visit to London, and I did not want him to loose potential clients.

"I'll be alright," I reassured him giving him a light peck and running my hand over his cheek. He smiled and leaned in to kiss the top of my head.

"Alright, try to not think about it. We can talk when I get back ok? And no more baths today." He urged. 

"Ok." I didn't want him to stress about me, but how could I not think about having hurt Sebastian and not being able to control this power that was boiling under the surface of my skin.

Shortly after I heard the front door close, Sebastian came in. I was still sitting at my vanity, not having been able to move from where Ominis had left me as I brewed in my anxiety.

"Hey, can I come in?" Sebastian smiled gently, I simply nodded and looked out the window, the image of his face terrified of me quickly flashing back to my mind. 

"How are you?" He asked as he leaned in front of me and pulled my chin gently to look at him. His eyes intensely looking into mine.

"I'm ok... Are you ? I'm really sorry about what happened, I don't know what that was really."

"I'm alright," his words felt sincere, I felt a bit relieved at that. "I know you were not trying to hurt me, you know that I fully trust you right?"

I felt tears filling my eyes, I nodded feeling a knot in my throat.

Sebastian smiled sweetly at me and wiped my tears with his thumbs. "Here, let's get you out of that wet towel," he brought over my robe and handed me my hair brush after I put it on and sat back down.

I started to comb my hair, Sebastian sat on my bed, silently watching me. A tear making its way down my cheeks here and there.

"So... What do you see in your nightmares?" He asked with a solemn look coming into his eyes.

"I... I don't really know... I can't remember them." I lied, I remembered them, all of them. The voices of those I lost telling me how I'd fail them, wizards, witches and goblins dying by my hand, being stuck in the great halls of the trials I'd taken on during my first year at Hogwarts. Afraid, threatened and alone. Always alone.