𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐎𝐝𝐝𝐬¹

XIV. Parades for Snow

°•°•[Parades for Snow]•°•°

MONTHS HAVE PASSED BY, and Julia's Victory tour was coming. She has thought about it many time, about facing dead's tributes families and their Districts. The less time was until the Tour, the more it occupied Julia's mind. All of the tributes faces appeared in her dreams, their dying ones and they're in the air during the Games. 

She would wake up crying and shaking so often it became nearly unbearable. Redhead started sleeping less and less each night until the point that it was impossible not to notice. 

Amber pleaded her to sleep in tears, but Julia wouldn't dare. She was scared of her dreams and what was waiting for her in them. The first night that redhead actually got sleep was when Xavier gave her sleep pills from Capitol. It helped her vanish the nightmares, and she got more than eight hours of sleep every night since than.

That wasn't only one of Julia's problems. Every orphan Julia once called friend was now afraid of her. Alice still blamed her for Io's death, even after Xavier explained that Snow killed him because he didn't kill a rebel whom had a family. 

She was having bad panic attacks about again being in the arena. She saw dying tributes, ruins of buildings, trees on the roads and nightlocks bushes. Xavier and Beetee wouldn't leave girl's side just in case she got another panic attack when they weren't around. They would help her breathe and made her attacks less frequent. Two of them were people Julia could talk to. Xavier usually hugged her and gave her chocolate, and Beetee would always stroke her orange hair and made her tea.

Xavier had similar problems when he came back from his Games, and still sometimes had panic attacks. Few times, he had them in front of Julia. First time, redhead almost started panicking too, but somehow managed to stay calm and collected both of them.

Julia wanted it all to go back to before the Games, but it was impossible and she was very aware of that. She had to deal with the fact that she has killed kids and that she has to face their families. Some more than once, like Pearl and Mags.

One morning, Julia was standing on the meadow she was sitting on before her reaping. It was snowing, and redhead loved snow, at least the one that was falling now. She hadn't gotten any strength before to come there. Julia was starting into distance, and was almost back into the day she was sent into the Games when someone sat down next to her. Redhead expected to see her sister with her flaming red hair, but she saw Xavier. His eyes were red and puffy, and his hands were shaking as he ran them through his hair. 

Julia put his hands in hers, rubbing them. "Are you okay?" 

"Snow sent me a message. It said Dear Mr Prescott, you are not doing your job well. If you don't make up a way to become better, Julia's fate will repeat. Sincerely, President C. Snow. In exact words. If I don't kill that rebel I was supposed to but didn't, someone will be reaped, and both of us know who." 

"Amber," Julia's voice was not louder than a whisper. She shut her eyes closed to prevent tears, letting go of Xavier's hands, and then opened her eyes again. Redhead put her hand on her friend's. "Xavier..." 

"One innocent life for another. Whatever I decide to do, it's the wrong answer. If I don't kill the man, my friend will be reaped again and mostly likely die. If I kill him, Amber won't be reaped for now, but I will kill a father, a brother, a son and a husband. There is no right decision."

"There is never a right or wrong choice or decision."

"Than?"

"I don't know," Julia's voice was desperate and tired. "I would say to kill the man so Amber would live, but that is selfish. Decision is yours to make, not mine, Xavier."