After the Eventide

nightmarish love

in every month, it brings us closer to where we need to be
nearer to a time when both of us, me and you, have to leave
a heart is offered to you even if it may not be a wise choice
you altered my reasoning to ensure I won't listen to my voice

gone are the nights of waiting at the terminal for a bus to arrive
with infinite hours for conversations, we lose track of time
conveying stories belonging to the past, dug up from an archive
gone are these kinds of days when your hours were utterly mine

up in the sky, there's a gray overcast with shadows I peer into
since we're not on good terms, I delve into a retrospect of us two
you're the person I'm most certain with, yet it only led to a goodbye
we've planned a future only to upend; I question if it's worth the try

when a smile erupts, I draw my future around you, even if it's untrue
as I go to lengths for love, you often had reservations and an excuse
between a caregiver and a nuisance, the people would likely pick you
inconsistencies recur, like how I'd want it to be me who you'd choose

these fascinating stories about your day you never cared to share
your achievements and troubles remain hidden, even your affairs
as you keep a heart on a tether, our communication is going nowhere
if God forbids something vile to happen, you won't bother to be aware

dwelling on a relationship that had rotten, often I'd make time
all this while, I'm a kid for you to use up during your free time
as I watch the good things cross your life, I can only root for you
if the details of your life mean nothing to me, would it phase you?

in a game of my wishes is your command, you begin to disappear
as loving you came at a cost, I wish for my fortune to still be here
you held on to me since I was one you hadn't come across before
we'd trade shirts, do acts of solicitude like you'd help out on a chore

while the miles separating our distance apart increased,
the love you have always provide had slowly decreased
a heart is shaken by the current happenings you employ
I'd compare myself to a dog left by its owner or an old toy

a love that was once glorious now has turned into nightmarish
at this present time, the fondness we had we've failed to cherish
whenever it's my invite, I end up with an answer that's indefinite
as I upbraid my decisions, I wish for your response to be definite

if you have much bigger to chase, I shall watch you go
since what matters is that, for a second, I kept you close
as I long to see the day that I'll get to be with you again,
the only thing I can do is reminisce and act timid until then

if this is a book, my character would be the hopeless romantic
as I tolerate doings of yours that lead a heart to be frantic
while a soul is put into extremes, it's trying its best to endure
as a gullible heart tears, it's only setting itself up for failure