Is Ihstan Alone?

XVIII

CHAPTER 18

"Nice game, Mr. Illinois. I was impressed. I hope next year you will still stay in this team."

My team clapped me after my drills in attacking the ball. I smiled at them shyly. I think Micah right now was very proud of herself for recruiting me in this game. I did not regret for giving this game a try again. I missed playing table tennis.

I opened the car of Kaldhi feeling exhausted. He gave me a bottle of water and after that I fell asleep. I did not even say hi to him, but I know Kaldhi understood me. When I opened my eyes a few minutes later, I was perplexed why we were in Canhris Woods. I was amazed in the lights of our city. It gave me a fresh mind and feels like all my burdens in life were deleted.

"Did you like it?" Kaldhi asked me.

"Of course. I did. It's awesome." I commented.

The moment I looked at Kaldhi again. He was already crying? I was again confused. I immediately hugged him and rubbed his back.

"What's wrong, Kaldhi? What's wrong?" I asked him. "Do you have a problem?"

"Ihstan, I just can't. I am sorry. I-I can't."

"W-What? What are you saying?"

"I am falling to you. I am sorry, Ihstan."

I was so surprised because of what he stated that is why I broke away from hugging him.

"W-What? You can't, Kaldhi! Please! You are stupid! Stop this! You are just fvcking confused because we were always together. Perhaps you were just excited to see me because of my stories or what my day went to. You are just confused."

"That's why I fell for you because of that. I can't stop thinking you before or after our sex. Perhaps my feelings for you was started when you shipped me with Ritzieh." Kaldhi sincerely admitted.

"Then why did not you tell me?"

"Because I was afraid and I -."

"That's enough, Kaldhi. I don't want to talk all of this." I cut him off. "I just can't. This is a sin."

"Then, tell me what should I do?"

"Stop your feelings and I know you can." I sounded mad. "Because we were cheating and hurting Ritzieh in our shit. What if she found out about this? What do you think she will say?"

"I love her, but I think I love you more."

I was speechless by Kaldhi's words until I got home. I asked the dark what should I do until I realized I was fvcking crying in pain. I experienced mixed emotions and guilt.

Because no matter what I do.

I already fell for him....

To Kaldhi.