Is Ihstan Alone?

XXVIII

CHAPTER 28

"Let's clap for our first ever Table Tennis National Qualifier, Mr. Ihstan Illinois."

During our flag ceremony, our school principal announced this one. A lot of students were cheering and clapping for me. I gave a simple speech to them.

I smiled in front of everyone and thanked the people behind my success in this game. I did not forget to mention Micah and Coach Tilan in my simple speech. They were the main people who motivated me to try again and enhance more my skills in table tennis.

Nationals will happen on June after our Recognition. But first I need to enjoy my vacation with my family and friends. I was so excited about that. I wish my imagination will come true.

In the first week of May, we took our finals in our second semester. I was glad because I passed all of my examinations, but was a little worried because Ritzieh got a low score in one of our subjects but she said that was not bad. However, I accompanied her yesterday on clinic and the doctor said that the baby was fine and healthy. So I was glad.

"How are you, Ihstan?" Kaldhi asked me when he entered in my veranda. "How was your scores in examination?"

"Good. You?" I asked back.

"Same."

I turned my face to Kaldhi, who was clutching a beer can. He also turned to look at me, but I quickly turned away.

"I was already tired of pretending, Kaldhi. I wanna be yours forever, but I know I have no rights. You will be having a baby." I stated with a sad voice.

"I know I made a big mistake, but Ishtan acceptance is the key. We need to move on and fight our temptations."

"Yeah. We will. Even it is hard."

"Even it is hard."

I smiled bitterly.

"If we can't fight our temptations. I will tell mom and dad to live in United Kingdom after we graduate Senior High School. Is that okay to you?"

He was shocked in what I said.

"It's not okay for me but if that would be the best option to avoid our temptation in one another, then I will slowly accept it until my feelings to you will vanish." He answered.

"And if our feelings were already gone. We can bring back the old us."

"Yeah."

"Do you think this was a huge mistake, Kaldhi? I mean us?"

"I thought about that and it was not a mistake, Ihstan." He said. "But for me love can't be a mistake because it was a choice and a destiny. We experienced an unexplainable love between us Ihstan and at first we were just too afraid to admit it, especially for you."

I faced him.

"You know what, after you told me how you felt about me, the next thing that happened was that I pushed you and told you that you were just confused, right? Then, after Ritzieh's debut I already I admitted my feelings to you. What if we had been in love since we were young, Kaldhi?" I asked.

"That's possible."

"Fvck! This love."

"Yeah. Fvck! This love."

Kaldhi fixed his sit and faced me and held my shoulders.

"Ihstan, look at me." He said. "I promise I will choose you next life no matter what, who, or where you are I will find you. I swear I will take care of your value."

"Don't say that, Kaldhi. We only die once."

"Trust me. I will find you because you were once my world."

We talked and talked. This is the best closure of us that I appreciated. It saddens me when we talk sad things but this was vital. Besides, we used to do this a lot of times when our strong friendship still existed.

In a couple of seconds of not talking, Kaldhi break the ice. He called my name and I looked at him.

"Will you accept my feelings when I admitted immediately that I like you?"

I was expecting that question so I was not in shock.

"Yes, Kaldhi because we have been friends for ages and I will give you anything because we are friends."