Is Ihstan Alone?

Ending

ENDING

That's why I love the dark.

I can imagine different things. And I can reminisce the memories that Kaldhi, Ritzieh, and I spent together. I scream again in my room and throw the things that I see. Until mom and dad came, and they hugged me. Dad combed my hair and comforted me. Mom was crying too and she does not know what to do.

"It's my fault. Fvck! It's my fault." I was again blaming myself because I deserve to be blame. "I am a demon. I am Satan's son. Fvck!" I scream again.

"Ihstan. It's not your fault, Son. No one's fault." Said Dad and rubbed my back. "I love you, Son. We love you." Dad kissed me on my forehead.

I always go at the hospital to see Kaldhi's situation. He has been in coma for two weeks and Baby Pintas needed to observe because the machine is surviving her. I hope she will become healthy.

Yeah. Kaldhi was put in a coma, while Ritzieh died not because of the accident but because of her early childbirth. Her parents did not blame me for her death which I don't deserve.

"I am sorry, Ritzieh. I am sorry." I hardly cried. "Please, forgive me."

I was again crying in her thombsone. I have no words to say but sorry and forgive me. Can Ritzieh do that to me? I think I don't deserve that either. I was in pain and guilt.

Days passed, I talked again in the dark to find a comfort but I felt like it was not enough that is why I find myself praying in my veranda. I admit that I was not a religious person. But I know I need God right now. I am aware that He is kind and powerful.

"P-Please, Lord. Save Kaldhi and Baby Pintas."

I wiped my tears as they streamed down in my face. I was again finding a way for hope in the church and believe it or not I was always praying and always attending the mass. I even confess to the priest the things that I have done in my life, especially to Ritzieh. The cheating shits which I absolutely regret even I know from the start that it was awful.

Mom brought me one time in the Psychiatrist and I was mad because they thought that I was sick but I am not. Perhaps they were just worried about me but I did not appreciate that kind of treatment. I am not sick. I was in pain.

"You know what Ihstan, Ritzieh knew that you and Kaldhi had a secret relationship together. She was just pretending that she does not know."

I was stunned when tita Rita said that to me. I was shaking but she just smiled.

"I-I am sorry, Tita."

"I am not mad. Don't blame yourself for that, Ihstan. Ritzieh would be happy if you would take care the baby and when Kaldhi is already awake then you two would become a parent.... for Ritzieh."

I waited for months but Kaldhi was not still awake. I was crying again and holding his hands. I kissed it until I fell asleep.

I went to Nationals to still participate in my Table Tennis journey but ended up in the sixth place. I was still glad because there were still people who supported me, but unlike before I was not motivated and inspired anymore during my games.

Nevertheless, I do always visited the places where I feel the presence of my friends like in Canhris Woods. Again, I was still in so much pain. Always remembering our memories together made my heart stab a thousand of knives.

Until I went at the hospital exhausted and slept on Kaldhi's bed and when I woke up there was a hand who was carresing my head. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Kaldhi smiling. I began to cry again and pressed the buzzer to inform the doctor or perhaps the nurses.

"Fvck! You are awake." I hugged him and still can't believe it.

"For you, Ihstan. For you." He said and he kissed my forehead. "I love you."

I was about to talk again when I was stunned about his words when he spoke. The doctor and two nurses came to check Kaldhi. I exited his room and went to Baby Pintas to inform her that his daddy is finally awake. Baby Pintas was still surviving because of the machine.

I smiled and thank the Lord.

I opened my eyes and found myself ecstatic when I carry Baby Pintas. Kaldhi was enjoying and laughing. We were in the park to have a picnic. It has been six months when Kaldhi was realeased in the hospital while Baby Pintas became healthy and strong.

"Ritzieh and I met in the other life and she said she already forgive us." Kaldhi chuckled. "She said too that I should fight because of the baby and of course for you."

"I still feel the guilt, Kaldhi." I told him.

"We knew Ritzieh. She was not the person who will harbor a grudge against you. She can easily forgive people."

"I hope she is happy there." I said then looked at the sky.

"She is happy, Ihstan."

For a moment, I gave Baby Pintas to Kaldhi and get something on my bag. When Kaldhi saw what I was holding, he was absolutely in shocked. I already informed his parents about this and ofcourse also to Ritzieh's parents. Luckily, they agreed. They said it is for the better.

Kaldhi hugged me and kissed me on my lips.

"United Kingdom?" Kaldhi chuckled again. "Oh yeah, we will start a new life there with Baby Pintas and as long as I am with you I will always choose to be happy."

"Same, Kaldhi. And we will collect a lot of memories together and eliminate the shits things that we have done in our existence, especially to Ritzieh."

I carried Baby Pintas while Kaldhi was pulling our suitcase. We arranged everything and now ready to start a new life.

When Kaldhi and I were already in front of an airplane Baby Pintas was very happy. Kaldhi held my hand and smiled. I felt butterflies in my stomach. There were happy tears that streaming down in my face.

"When our hairs turned into white, Ihstan. I will and forever will take care of you. I made myself a promise." Kaldhi said and hugged me.

"I am now ready and excited about that, Kaldhi." I said and giggled.

"You are my world, Ihstan."

"You mean the world to me, Kaldhi."