I Just Can't Do It Anymore

Chapter 5

Song for this chapter is Count on Me by Bruno Mars >>>>

Harry’s POV

 ~3 months later~

 I woke up early and jumped into the shower. I made sure to massage my curls and lather them with loads of shampoo and just felt really good. I was on my way to the hospital to see Julie. Yes, I know you all are probably thinking what is he doing going to see Julie?! I thought Megan said he couldn’t see her and that he wasn’t allowed. Well, you are partly right.

 Bryce, Julie’s permanent nurse, convinced Meg to let me go and see her because her wish was to meet her daddy. Have I mentioned that Meg has a new boyfriend? Can you guess who is it? Well, if you guessed Bryce, you would be correct. I really can’t stand that boy and he makes me so jealous. If I didn’t screw up the best relationship I ever had, I wouldn’t have to see her with another man who happens to be our dying daughter’s nurse. Yeah, I just want to push him down a well. Like all the time.

 “Harry.” Bryce said when I walked up to my daughter’s door. WHAT DO YOU WANT BRYCE?! God I really don’t like himmmmm!

 “Yes, Bryce,” I replied through clenched teeth, really just not wanting to hear him gloat and brag about his relationship with MY fiancé. Well, ex fiancé now. (Picture of Bryce on the side>>>>>>>) The bastard just smirked, knowing the reaction he gets out of me all the time.

 “Oh nothing… Just wanted to let you know how wonderful MY girls are. You know, my girlfriend Megan and daughter Julie…” He trailed off looking dazed. Oh hayl naw. That is and will NEVER be his baby girl in there.

“Ummm., excuse me you dick? Last time I checked, JULIE WAS MY DAUGHTER! And not be a prick or anything, but Megan, your precious girlfriend was the one that helped me create that little girl in there. So, I have more over you in many ways. You will never get the privilege of being Julie’s dad. Not today, not any day. They are mine, and in this situation, you can’t comfort her if OUR daughter dies. She won’t want your comfort. I helped create her.” I said back to him angrily. I was literally almost shouting in the hospital.

“Mate, you have no idea what Julie addresses me as, just watch and learn pretty boy,” He smirked before walking into the room my daughter’s residence was with me following him. 

“DADDY!!” My princess screamed out loud. She started running our way, but she didn’t run into my outstretched arms. She ran right into…. Bryce’s. What the actual hell, that smirk on Bryce’s face just made me want to dig that well deeper and just push him in. That was when Megan walked out looking stunning. It broke me in ways possible to see him go over to her, kiss her on the lips, all the while holding my daughter.

“Oh! Harry! Julie, did you see that Harry is here!” Meg said taking Julie into her arms and bringing her over to me.

 “Hey, princess. I’m your real daddy remember?” I said hopeful with my lips trembling. She slightly nodded, but it wasn’t enough for me.

 “Harry! HELLLLLO! We’re leaving! Thanks for watching Jules for us again!” Bryce said walking out of the door with my love. I hated this feeling. Only one person could make me feel better, Blair.

“Helllllllllo?” She said into the phone.

“Blair! Its me, Harry,” I said back.

“HEYYYY CURLYYYY!” She screamed. I knew that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so we just hung up.

 “So, baby, what do you want to do while Mommy is out?” I asked my almost 3 year old. She looked so horrible; sick. She had lost her hair a month ago, and currently wears all of my beanies. The doctors said that she was limited on weeks maybe even a week time left to live. Maybe not even that much, and it scares me so badly. She had to be connected to thousands of wires, and was constantly throwing up. But lately, she has been very sick and the doctors think that her time is almost here.

After about 2 hours, Meg and Bryce came back. Meg looked to be in her glory and was hiding something for sure. Bryce, he just looked cocky and very happy, almost like he’d won. Won what, though? I saw the reflection of light come off of something behind Megan, but I didn’t think anything about it.

“Mommy, I don’t feel so good. Can Brycie help me. Daddy I’m scare,” Julie’s fragile voice whispered to us. Just then, she passed out with a slow heart monitor, as if it were slowing.

“JULIEEEEE!!” Megan and I screamed in unison while we fell to our knees in tears. This was the time. The time that my baby girl had to leave me. Where I could never see her smiling face anymore, where she will only live on in my memory, and where she will no longer get to call me ‘daddy’ and I ‘princess’. Someone must’ve informed the boys that she was dying, because they barged in, and the doctor actually took Bryce out of the room, saying this was a direct family only time.

“Harry…. Do you think its- its- its time?” Meg squeaked while her voice caught in her throat. I just nodded with tears running down my face. Louis was crying, as was the rest of the lads. But nothing compared to the two figures that were wrapped in each other’s arms on the floor crying. That’s Meg and I. And wanna know what I saw on her left hand? A ring. An effing engagement ring that definitely didn’t look like the one I gave her, even though the necklace I gave her never leaves her neck.

“Megan, are you marrying Bryce?” Louis asked her noticing the ring that I was staring at. She just looked up and looked back down. That was awkward.

 Niall, thankfully, started playing his guitar to Julie, who always loved when Uncle NiNi plays for her. He played the slower melody to ‘Little Things’ while I grabbed my precious daughter and rocked her in my arms sitting on her bed. Megan grabbed Blair who was also here crying for support and came to the bed and watched as our little girl drifted away from us once and for all slowly but surely. 

“I love you, Mommy. Thank you for evyting.” Julie whispered kissing Megan on the cheek while Megan said her I love you back and cried even harder. I just rubbed comforting circles into her back like I used to.

“Daddy, I don’t know where to start. Thank you for evyting. You saved me. You let my wish come twue! I wuv you for ever, daddy! Don’t forget it! Always, even if I’m not here,” Julie whispered kissing me on the lips.

 “Julie, baby. I love you forever and I could never forget anyone that I loved so much. No matter where you are, I’ll love you and I know that I’ll see you on the other side someway some how,” I said full on balling while I rocked the almost lifeless girl and Megan in my arms to the slow melody of ‘Little Things’ and crying as they witnessed the death of the 2 year old. She didn’t even make 3 years old for gods sake! Cancer is a demon!

The silence was filled with a deep breath and then the sound of a beep. The beep that signaled our little girl to be dead. She was gone. My princess, my life, was gone forever. Megan completely collapsed into my arms and cried so hard. With her head on my chest and mine on her head, we cried while we held our deceased daughter in my arms.

“Mr. Styles, Ms. Tomlinson, we will have to take Julie Styles now. She is gone,” The doctor said sadly and barely audible. We just held on tighter, I’ve never felt so connected with Megan as much as I did right now. Megan repeatedly said ‘no’ but she was removed from my arms while I begged for her to come back to me. But no matter how hard I tried, she never came. Came back to me, never came back from the dead.

I can’t take this pain, why wasn’t it me?! HUH?! WHY COULDN’T IT BE ME!!!! WHY?!?!?!!? I  just wish I knew, but I don’t. Now I have to live everyday of my life knowing that my only daughter died of cancer at 2 years old, and I’m so selfish that I couldn’t even stop it.

 She’s gone. I cried. COMMENT! Please! Vote and fan too (; love you all!

~lousbumm210 xxxxx