OS #4: Claws of Dominance

26th Dominance

Interfere

I arrived well that night, though I admit I was bothered. I tried to keep myself composed, but I know that when it comes to him, it's just complicated.

Hindi kami nagtagal sa jeep dahil na rin iba pala ang ruta noon. Mabuti na lang rin at hindi na pinuna ni Kim iyon habang tahimik akong nakasunod sa kanya.

Our interaction that day was unexpected on my part, but thinking about how he had prepared a paper bag for me and even a bouquet for Eve, it seems as though he knew I was indeed there. Kakaiba rin ang reaksyon ni Eve at parang tinutulungan pa siya nito.

He acted weird, so I can't help but notice how careful and different he seems. Nananstya at nagmamasid sa kung ano ang gagawin o ang magiging reaksyon ko. It was as if he was prepared for anything and was ready to avoid the worst.

Paniguradong dahil na rin sa nalaman niya sa akin. I can be fragile when triggered, and so he's like that... which is also why I prefer that others not know about this side of me. Nagiging bago ang trato na para bang ang hina-hina ko sa paningin nila. Mika, though, didn't act like that. Alam niya na ayaw ko ng ganoon.

It will always be my flaw, my weakness. My parents know the spot to hit to make me bend for them, and I hate it. That's why I tried to overcome everything slowly.

During my therapy back then, I learned different coping styles to calm my mind, but now that I have what I want, it becomes challenging dahil iyon ang kahinaan ko.

Wala sa sariling nakatitig lang ako sa blackboard, hindi man lang interesado sa nagsasalita na instructor sa harapan. It's orientation week, kaya talagang boring.

Sinunod ko ang sinabi ni Kim sa akin kahapon na mag dahan-dahan muna sa gigs at magfocus sa program na sinign-up niya para sa akin. Kaya ang gigs na kukunin ko ay minsan aabutin na hanggang alas syete ng gabi o lampas pa dahil na rin sa class schedule ko at kay Kim.

Nagustuhan ko rin naman ang ideya lalo na't naisipan ko rin na mas maayos na mag lie low muna ngayong alam na nila Papa. I don't want them to think that I truly like this; it should look like I am indeed just wasting my time.

Gusto ko rin na mas matuto muna sa paglalakad bago sumali ulit sa fashion show dahil fresh pa rin iyon sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, gaya ng mga kasamahan sa nasalihang mga gigs noon.

Nagsimula na ang klase ko bilang freshman business management student, and it's been two weeks since then. Studying is like a duty I have to do, so even when I don't like it, I'm just doing my 'part'. Aside from that, my classmates are fun to be with, though there's nothing more about it.

Naging kilala ako ng ibang mga kaklase kasi alam nila ang iba sa mga brand na minodel ko. Sabi nga nila gusto nilang ako ang maging pambato ng kurso namin sa mga upcoming events ng school. Tumawa lang ako habang tumatanggi. I have too much on my plate right now to even join such events. Karsyn would totally rock it, though; she's great at those events.

Nagplano na rin kasi kaming magkaibigan na magclubbing anytime we want, habang hindi pa masyadong busy kagaya na lamang last week noong linggo. Mas mabuti na rin ng makapagsama-sama kaming pito dahil na rin sa nangyari kay Dana.

Binaba ko ang pansin sa phone ng mapansing may notification roon. A message from Nereus. Patago ko iyong binuksan dahil nasa gitna ako ng klase.

@Nereuz_V: Kamusta? Are you still having gigs?

Bakit napa-chat ito? Medyo lito man ay nagtipa ako.

@FaliahCorz: I still do pero bakit mo tinatanong?

@Nereuz_V: Bawal na ba magtanong ngayon? Saan nga pala?

We chatted a bit, and I told him where and what I would have for tonight's gig.