Dear Jackson

Chapter 11

It was Sunday night, and BamBam had yet to call or text me. I tried calling him a few times, but of course he didn't answer me. I really pissed him off this time.

"I'm such a damn idiot."

But it's hard to gain confidence in two seconds just for the sake of someone else. Especially in a judgemental environment where all they do is criticize you. I mean I'm made fun of for my shortness alone. I can imagine all the fuss tomorrow.

I turned off my ceiling light by the switch and slipped under my bed covers. I just wanted to sleep and get tomorrow over with. Because I know it's going to be a long day.

___*

I nervously walked through the double doors of the school I now dread. I left my camera at home as I knew I didn't need it after the Jackson situation.

Every way I looked, faces were staring dead at me. I heard snickers and faint name calling relating to my gender preference. I just kept my head down and tried to ignore it, heading to my locker in "peace".

While approaching my locker I paused from inputting my combination. I backed up slowly while reading the graffiti on my metal door.

"Go back home you unwanted faggot"

I clenched my knuckles till they turned white with pressure. I exhaled loudly as to calm down, and proceeded with opening my locker. I took the books I needed and slammed it shut, locking it. As I took the trail to my first class I was already begging mentally to go home. This was uneeded for me at the moment.

On my way I passed the art room, and of course Jackson was walking out of there while I strolled by. He paused and so did I, just intensity involved with the stare down. He opened his mouth to speak but one of his friends approached us. A jock you could say for the least.

"Hey bro what's up?"

He slung his arm around Jackson while giving him a fist bump, then immediately turned to me.

"You're talking to this homo loser?"

I rolled my eyes and already started walking away, not wanting to be late as that would cause more problems.

"Hey, don't talk to my bro Jackson. He doesn't roll that way, and I don't think he wants your gay lips touching his like last time."

His friend or "bro" twisted me around to face him by my shoulder, using harsh force. He then took a fist full of my long sleeve shirt and pulled me up close to his face.

"I should beat you up for it, but I'm in a good mood, so I'll let you go."

I was nearly dropped to the floor as he pushed me with his release. After dusting myself off from his grip, I aimed my eyes to Jackson. He gave me a two second stare before turning on his heel, walking in the opposite direction. I felt my heart sink as I thought he would help or defend me in some way. But he really stuck to his word when he said he didn't want to negotiate with me.

"Whatever."

I spoke carelessly and continued to my class, preparing for the rest of the eventful day ahead.

--

"Hey mother, I'll be upstairs."

I quickly spoke while shutting the door and running up the steps to my room. I locked it after slamming it closed, not wanting to be seen. I approached my mirror and slowly zoomed in. I grazed my bruises and cuts with my finger tips, eyes brimming with tears. I felt pulsing pain within the area of my ribs, and soreness from head to toe.

"BamBam, are you okay?"

I heard my mom speak from the other side of the door, jiggling the door knob.

"Open this door, why is it locked?!"

I ignored her as I still stared at myself, feeling weak and defenseless as I thought back to an hour ago.

"Where you going Bambi?"

I heard a male voice call out to me mockingly as I was walking home, a few laughs from behind him. I turned around to see a few players from the football and basketball team of the school.

"Going to meet your boyfriend?"

"Heading to the gay bar to look for fresh bait?"

"Or view gay porn in your room as you pleasure yourself?"

One of the buff ones pushed me, and I stumbled backwards, hitting a tree. I hissed as I banged my head against the solid bark. Before I could even push myself back up, I was punched in the face and fell straight to the ground. I could taste blood in my mouth from that one blow.

"It's only the start faggot."

I was picked up by the collar of my shirt and choked from it pressing on my throat. I was then tossed to the concrete, but my bag thankfully broke the impact.

"Please st-"

Before I could finish my cry for mercy, I was kicked in the ribs. I lost all breath for a moment, and coughed up blood seconds later. As I turned on my stomach my head was yanked by a strong fist pulling my hair. Then another hit to the face, and I was yet again on the ground trying to save myself.

All I felt was pain, pure pain. The punches and kicks didn't hurt the most. It wasn't the name calling, or the constant torture even after just one day. It wasn't having to face it all again tomorrow. No, it was being left in this position alone. Not having the one I needed by my side to save me. Not being able to even say "help me" when the one I wanted to rescue me told me he didn't want to have anything to do with my person.

"Kunpimook Bhuwakul, open this damn door right now!"

My mother was now banging and slapping the door with force undescribeable. Her anger and impatient attitude being put through her hands.

"Go away please."

I lightly spoke, biting my lip as the tears stung the cuts on my messed up face. I didn't want her to see me in such a state. I didn't want her to be involved, as it would only bring me more problems.

"I'm not opening the door until I'm comfortable. So please, I'm pleading for you to just wait."

My voice was raised slightly, hoping she could hear me. After a few moments passed, the knocking, banging, and name hollering stopped. I walked into my bathroom and stepped up to the shower, pulling away the curtain. I put my hand on the hot water knob while twisting it to fully open. Water fell to the bottom of the tub, creating a sound of rain hitting concrete pavement.

"A nice steaming shower before I show my mother my now not-so-pretty face."

I sighed to myself while stripping carefully, not wanting to hurt the fresh and tender internal wounds. I then took a step in, checked the water, then proceeded to fully enter. I gave a small smile as the scorching water pleasently washed away the touch of those "humans".

"My mother is going to want to know who did this, and why."

I spoke lowly to myself while dipping my head under the stream. The water burned my cheeks as it leaked in separate waterfalls to the floor.

"I think I guess I have to just tell her the full truth."

I slowly pulled my knees into my chest as I sat on the bottom of the tub, legs too weak to hold my weight up anymore.

"Tell her about me and Jackson."

A/N: I spoil you guys with 3 updates in one night. But I love you guys and you leave nice comments so I can't help it.