Ruins of Autumn

4• Bottle In The Air

    It was finally time for the geranium short dress with only one sleeve and the waist revealed on the left side with a small part of the belly and back to go to a party.
 
    Anila accessorised the outfit with a pair of honeysuckle heels and a white bag. While seeing her reflection in the mirror on the shelf next to the front door of the house, she smiled at the bright, playful eyes and approved in silence that her hair tied back in a ponytail suited her beautifully and that she looked great.
 
    When she heard the ring on her phone, she guessed that the notification was about Blerimi. Anila took the phone out of her bag on the shelf and read the message that he was waiting outside her house.
 
    The heat of the summer came and increased as the days went by. It was as if all the heat of Albania had gathered in Tirana that night.
 
    She made her way down the stairs of the apartment building carefully and smiled when she saw Blerimi leaning against the passenger side door of the car on the driver's right.
 
    She had immediately accepted his invitation to go out that evening, two days after they had met at the skating rink, and being ardent thanks to the feeling that that summer promised even more unusual events waiting to happen, she couldn't shake herself from that kind of excitement, which she had never experienced before meeting him.
 
    "I would have dressed in black too, but it didn't seem fair to take all the attention. I felt sorry." Anila jokingly referred to the colour of the shirt, trousers, and sneakers he was wearing.
 
    "That's very kind of you," Blerimi replied teasingly while shaking her hand.
 
    "I am a very generous person," she gave him her all-positive smile before getting into the car, after he opened the door for her, and she sighed deeply, joyous for where she was in the present.
 
    She was living as she wished without being forced by anyone else. It was something that she had set a goal for herself since she had begun to understand how life worked: to love herself and always be fair to her, and thus she would be able to help others who didn't have the opportunity to have such freedom in life as she had.
 
    Now she was dating a man she had feelings for, she had been offered a way to get to know him better, and she was using that way. She believed that if she were in danger, she would be shown a sign that Blerimi wasn't a person who deserved her company, and Anila would leave him.
 
    At those moments, she felt that everything was OK; she didn't have to think anything negative and guess the version of a future that might not exist, thus ruining the evening for herself.
 
    "Shall we put on some music?" Blerimi offered, not at all interested in hearing anything.
 
    "No," she smiled at him and didn't speak anymore because she didn't want to distract him.
 
    Anila was aware of the fact that accidents could happen in an instant if the driver didn't pay attention, even for a second, so she didn't risk it, and he felt grateful. Blerimi was sacrificing enough to go out with her. The less he heard her talk, the better it would be for his nerves.
 
    "I wanted to book a table at the bar where we met in May," he said a quarter of an hour later when he parked the car near the bar, where he had decided with her approval to spend the evening. "But I thought it would be good to change the environment, and next time go there if you like it as a place."
 
    "I do," Anila replied while getting out of the vehicle. "Should I understand from this that you're a planning person?"
 
    "Yes."
 
    They headed to the entrance of the bar and were accompanied by a waitress to their table next to the glass walls.
 
    "And yet some things get out of control, I'm sure," she added, firmly stating that she was right as she made herself comfortable in the high chair in front of him. "Some coincidences. These are the most beautiful events, I think."
 
    The waitress, with her black hair parted in the middle and tied in a ponytail, placed the menus on the table and left.
 
    "I have the impression that you aren't a planning person," Blerimi assumed.
 
    "What needs planning, but generally no. I feel like I'm putting limits on myself, and I'm being imprisoned. I feel so much better and freer when I go with the flow, and so far I haven't had any problems. This is my biggest fear: losing the freedom I have and not being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Fortunately, I have a family that has never imposed those classic restrictions on me that we often hear about: quitting school because of the fear that I might be manipulated by someone and drop out of it, or that I might get married, or that someone might kidnap me. Now we're hearing everything." Anila said it sadly. "They have advised me and convinced me to follow the rules, so that I don't say, 'They tell me not to do such thing, but I want to do it, even though I know that it's wrong'. They have given me books to read, and I'm very grateful to them for the way they chose. I have lived a stress-free life in my family, and I haven't caused them stress."
 
    "You can say that you have everything."
 
    He would have felt envious of her if he hadn't imagined a version of life in the future, which he thought was waiting for Anila, where she would no longer have everything, how that kind of future was going to affect her daily life, and the fact that Anila would never be the same again after discovering the truth.
 
    If she didn't know that truth yet.
 
    "I have," Anila admitted. "From my point of view, of course. Family, work, money, friends, enemies..."
 
    "Enemies?" His face immediately whitened.
 
    Had she found out about him and was now taking off the mask of pretense? Maybe she had told Amarildo that she was dating Blerim Agolli; he had asked her to stop hanging out with him; he had given her some false reasons; and Anila was now ending everything.
 
    "Shall we order?" She took the menu closest to her on the table, and Blerimi agreed.
 
    It wasn't that it would affect him too much if he had to cut off every communication with her. He had taken measures long ago, even for the unexpected. In fact, it would be in his favour because he wouldn't have to waste any more time going out on dates together, and Amarildo could be convinced to face him, because otherwise, he wouldn't be able to get rid of Blerimi.
 
    The menus were handed to the waitress along with the orders, and he stood, frozen in silence, waiting for her answer about the enemies.
 
    "I said it in general," Anila settled. "I'm not aware of having anyone against me, but I can't deny their existence. I think everyone has enemies, but they don't know it yet."
 
    Blerimi nodded in silent relief with a flutter of his eyelids, and she smiled lightly at him as she concentrated on the sensation of the intoxicating harmony his energy gave her, her conversation with him, his gaze, and the attention he was giving her. Blerimi seemed to enjoy his time with her as much as she did.
 
    "What's your biggest fear?" Anila asked.
 
    "Not discovering the truth I'm looking for. I feel very uncomfortable when I think that I might die without finding out the answer to the question I have in mind."
 
    She widened her eyes at the mention of death and weighed the presence of Blerimi compared to his absence in the world, and the first one seemed heavier. She was realising that she was relying too tightly on him and wanted to have him as part of her daily life for a very long time.
 
    The ringing of her phone didn't manage to tear her out of her daze, where she was caught and haunted.
 
    She read the message from Brunilda while the waitress put the drinks on the table along with the bill.
 
    "Is there a problem?" Blerimi asked in a worried tone after she turned off the phone and placed it on the table.
 
    "No. I texted my friend that I'm fine, so she won't have to worry about me. I live with her, and we often do this; we let each other know that everything is OK."
 
    "You must know her for a long time, since you don't misunderstand her intentions."
 
    And there it was, the other possibility he had included in the plan to achieve his goal: her best friend.
 
    "What intentions?" Anila furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
 
    "Negative, of course." Blerimi vented lightly with the seemingly futile question. "Maybe she wants to know everything about you because she's jealous of you; it's one of the enemies you don't know you have."
 
    That assumption froze Anila as if someone had suddenly thrown cold water on her face. She had never thought of such a thing. Brunilda had never given reasons for Anila to have that suspicion, and her cousin had never thought about it.
 
    "You know how jealous people are," Blerimi continued, unperturbed by her bewildered look. "They pretend they love us, when in fact they are seething with envy because of how lucky they think we are, or they pretend they hate us, but they want, at any cost, to have our attention and hang out with us."
 
    "Brunilda's not like that," Anila finally managed to say. "I have known her for years because we're also relatives, and she is a fair and respectful person. She hangs with someone because she wants to, not because she is forced by some negative interest. She loves and accepts people as they are." Anila said it with pride for her.
 
    "Why?" he was curious to know. "Because she's a good person, or because she knows what it means to not be accepted as she is by society, and therefore she offers others the feeling that no one has offered to her so far?"
 
    "Because she's a good person," Anila answered, without looking Blerimi in the eye, and took her glass to try the ordered drink.
 
    He pursed his lips slightly, amused at the state he had dropped her into and aware that she had just lied.
 
    "I'm glad." Blerimi decided to leave it at that for that night. "I think about you," he clearly meant, not only about that topic, and Anila arched her lips more, with her heartbeat increasing at the same time, as soon as she realised what he was talking about. "That's why I said so." Blerimi justified himself. "You know how it is nowadays. The one who is closest to you stabs the knife behind your back."
 
    "No, I didn't take it the wrong way." She smiled innocently at him. "This is the reality. I have heard and read many such stories."
 
    "You will also deal with those stories, since you have chosen the profession of translator."
 
    Blerimi tried to show her by looking at her how beautiful he was thinking she was, and, as it seemed, Anila got the message because she lowered her head very excitedly and moved her leg, meeting her left knee with his right one. She could feel the warmth of Blerimi's body on her skin, unobstructed by his trousers, and she couldn't control her imagination in time to not guess that his embrace, while kissing her, would be just as warm.
 
    Blerimi didn't move, so as not to create the impression that he did not want to be so close to her. He tried to think about only the fact that she was a beautiful woman, well-mannered, and very pleasant to talk to, but the existence of Amarildo and the reason why he knew them both nullified the value of every other characteristic that Anila had.
 
    It didn't matter to him how humorous she was in conversation. He listened attentively to her every word, just so as not to arouse suspicion, that he didn't care what she was saying and was just playing with her; not that he was truly interested, like it seemed, in continuing their acquaintance any longer.
 
••••
    He agreed to leave an hour after midnight only with her approval and accompanied her home.
 
    They both got out of the vehicle after he parked the car in front of her house and stopped at the threshold to turn to Anila, who was looking at him admiringly.
 
    "I'm guessing you didn't lie to me when you said that you're free, and I can text you whenever I want. I want to ask you again to go out." He came closer to her and looked at her with a deep and meaningful gaze, indicating that he wanted to be near her, convinced by the sight of Anila, enraptured by him, that now the next steps of the plan would be much simpler.
 
    "If you don't believe me, try me," she challenged teasingly, as she felt her heart going out of control with its frantic beatings, an action that seemed to happen again because of him.
 
    "I agree with your logic." Blerimi smiled and kissed her on the right cheek. "Good night," he whispered next to her ear.
 
    " 'Night," Anila muttered, unable to hide her smile from the emotions that had captivated her body—a fire that had consumed all her cells—and after looking at him one more time, she went home.
 
    She hurried up the stairs, locked the brown-and-black door of the house, leaned her back against it, took a deep breath, and allowed herself to be completely carried away by the emotions of the moment; joy and love caressed her heart, as she desired.
 
    "Brunilda!" she called suddenly.
 
    "I'm in the bedroom," the answer came right away, and Anila went there too, flung open the door to find her cousin lying on the double bed, covered with a dark blue sheet, using her phone.
 
    The fragment of the conversation with Blerimi about Brunilda was revealed to Anila emphatically, to be considered once more. She didn't believe that anyone had made Ida feel bad about being herself, and that's why she accepted others as they were, although she had never asked her why she acted like that. Anila had simply been grateful to her and returned the same respect, and Brunilda's company had always given her comfort and peace.
 
    "Where is he?" Anila headed towards the wardrobe.
 
    "Where is who?" Brunilda asked, surprised by her friend's behaviour.
 
    "Your lover, that you brought from the hotel."
 
    "Why, what happened? Couldn't yours do the job?" Brunilda laughed at the teasing question she asked her, and her laughter grew even more when Anila jumped on the bed to tickle her. "I give up, I give up!" she called with the little breath she had left. "It looks like he has done quite a job," she laughed again.
 
    Anila took off her heels and then took her pyjamas from the wardrobe to get ready to sleep.
 
    "How did it go?" Brunilda asked her when she entered the room with her clothes changed and her makeup removed.
 
    "Bottle in the air?" she clapped her hands with enthusiasm.
 
    "Bottle in the air," her close friend permitted.
 
    "He likes me too! I realised that today." Anila confessed, elated by such a fact.