Ruins of Autumn

71• Hug Of Both Times

    Anila had tried to leave the battle of the war, where she had been thrown unfairly, as soon as she had been injured, Sidoreli had offered to help her, she had understood that he had been one of the reasons why she had happened to be on that battlefield, and too late she had discovered something else: that her sister, too, had become a part of that war against her own will!
 
    Focused only on the pain of her own wounds, she hadn't seen Visara suffering.
 
    "I didn't want to hurt him," she swore while sobbing. "I just asked him to stay all of November in Albania and leave in December, since it had been a long time without coming home, and he wasn't sure when he would come again. Even Mom and Dad would be happy with that surprise, and Ildo agreed. I didn't know that they had set a trap for him."
 
    "Enough," Anila muttered, too weak to listen anymore. "Stop talking."
 
    She closed her eyes to pull herself together, and the absolute silence for a few moments helped her to calm down, but she was surprised by the feeling that she was falling into the space of the darkness of unconsciousness, and she couldn't hold on to anywhere.
 
    "Ania!"
 
    Visara's voice drew her to the surface, and Anila slowly opened her eyes to face the blurred image in front of her. Her vision became clearer, and then she could see the fury in her eyes.
 
    'Do you understand, or not?' She read the words on Visara's face.
 
    Had they argued, but she wasn't remembering it at the moment?
 
    She believed it. There was no doubt that it had happened like that, but she just couldn't recall. She knew herself very well. She had always preferred to resolve things through calm and peaceful communication, but when she realised that the opponent wanted only violence, she made sure not to end an argument without psychologically traumatising the enemy.
 
    Visara would have been hurt by her, and she had tried to defeat herself in the same way. Anila had closed her eyes to calm down a bit, but her brain hadn't preserved the memory of that conflict in time.
 
    She prepared apologetic words and a sad face to ask for forgiveness, even swearing that she had no intention of hurting her. She had accidentally lost her patience just for a moment, but she would make up for it.
 
    The words were elaborated only in her mind because two strong hands placed on her belly didn't let her say them out loud; those hands dragged her towards the couches in the living room to sit there.
 
    "Sidorel." She immediately remembered that she loved him when she looked to her left to see who was holding her, and he seemed very worried.
 
    Had he heard them arguing? He must have felt terrible about the negative energy she gave him. That hypothesis added poison to her self-loathing.
 
    Sidoreli helped her to sit on the couch.
 
    "Bring her a glass of water," he asked Visara, and she agreed.
 
    "Did I argue with her?" Anila asked nervously and regretfully, with tears in her eyes.
 
    "No," he realised that she wasn't remembering anything from what had happened a little while ago. "You fainted."
 
    "What?!"
 
    The glass of water that her sister brought her came to Anila's aid to remind her of everything, including Sidoreli's confession about Amarildo and the request that Visara had made to him to come before November 14th in Albania.
 
    Blerimi had taken advantage of that coincidence and killed him. Sidoreli and Visara had felt guilty that Amarildo had fallen into a trap without knowing it, and even if he had come later, he would surely have suffered the same fate. Returning earlier to Albania had already accelerated his murder.
 
    "I want to go to my room," she stood up, and he remained by her side.
 
    Visara brought her another glass of water there, and Anila drank it all.
 
    "Can you take the glass to the kitchen?" She asked Sidoreli, with a look, to leave him alone with Visara for a while, and he immediately agreed.
 
    "Ania," she squeezed her hand in fear that she would be pushed away in disgust. "I didn't want it to end like this."
 
    "I know," Anila touched her face wet from tears. "It wasn't your fault."
 
    It was hers that she hadn't told her the truth about the murder of Amarildo from Blerimi; she hadn't lied about the way she had found out about how they had lost their brother, without Visara suspecting if Anila had paid any price to have that information. The fear that Visara would look beyond the mask and discover the truth had forbidden Anila from telling her anything.
 
    "I met the sister of the man who killed Amarildo a few days ago, and she told me about him."
 
    "Why had he killed him?" Visara looked stunned.
 
    "Amarildo had offended his family, and that person had killed him out of pride."
 
    "Are you sure?' Visara found it unbelievable. "Why did she tell you this only now?"
 
    "She was afraid that we would take revenge for Ildo and kill her, and she asked me to leave it at that. I accepted."
 
    "Where is her brother?"
 
    "They're both dead. He was killed two years ago, while she killed herself yesterday from depression."
 
    Visara looked frozen and speechless at Anila's lowered eyes.
 
    "How did such a life come to us, Ania? I don't understand where I am. I have no idea where to go."