Ruins of Autumn

22• Away From The Sea

    Albioni found Leonora in the living room, watching a documentary about colours on TV.
 
    She didn't turn her head at all to see who had entered the house; she just kept her gloomy gaze on the screen as she heard her husband's footsteps approach her.
 
    If she had accepted Graniti's help, she probably wouldn't be locked up in that house now, but she couldn't have risked it when he had never cared before to not let her fall. Now it seemed strange to her that Graniti would say out of the blue that he had changed and would not do the same injustice to her again.
 
    She had done well by not accepting anything from him. Leonora believed that with the words she had told him, she had proved to him that she was no longer an easy person to be influenced, didn't agree to putting someone else before herself, and Graniti would give up on trying to manipulate her. But what if it had been true? She thought, exhausted from still hoping, that the possibility that her brother loved her was not an illusion.
 
    Why didn't he love her? Why hadn't her father ever loved her? Where was she wrong?
 
    The existence of Blerimi's love convinced her that nowhere. Ardiani had always been wrong. Graniti and Albioni were wrong, but they didn't want to admit it.
 
    Leonora wasn't sure if they really didn't know how to respect someone's rights or if they pretended like they didn't. They didn't even read books, to say that they have read stories where a woman was forced to marry someone, first hated that person and then loved him, they were convinced that something like that always worked in real life as well, and it fell to Leonora, for part, to become their experimental target, or maybe they had heard such stories from someone... their mindset seemed a mystery to her.
 
    "I brought your favourite dessert." Albioni placed a red box on the low wooden table in front of them and turned to her with a smile.
 
    Leonora closed her eyes, exhausted from the situation where she was and by the feeling that her whole life was turned upside down, and the easy solution to fix it was so difficult psychologically to implement that she didn't feel even a drop of energy of that kind to act.
 
    "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.
 
    From his wife, he gained a study look at his facial expression and then a frown with irony.
 
    "What?" He wasn't in the mood for a coded conversation.
 
    "Nothing," Leonora answered, looking back at the TV. "Thanks for the dessert. You're very kind."
 
    Albioni looked at her, fuddled by her grateful smile, and couldn't tell if she was serious or if she was tipping him back, pretending to be nice to him, like he was being.
 
    "Shall I bring you a plate?" he offered.
 
    "No, thanks," Leonora continued in the same soft tone of voice. "I don't want to eat right now."
 
    "OK, I'm leaving it in the fridge, in case you want to eat later."
 
    "Fine."
 
    He took the box and headed to the kitchen in confusion. Maybe Leonora had decided to finally submit to her fate, and Albioni should be happy about this, but what if she had also made the plan to get rid of him and then continue her life with someone else? 
 
    A few more days. That's all he would have to endure, and then, by killing her, all his problems would end.
 
    God! Had he known that she would have created so much stress in his life, he would never have married her.
 
    At first, everything had been great because Leonora kept her feelings to herself, but lately she had started to openly express so brutally what she felt and for whose fault, and it was becoming unbearable. If only there was a way to turn her into the easy, submissive woman she once was, there would be no need to plan her death, but someone must have shown Leonora what freedom through true love was like without harming her or holding her hostage. That's why she was more and more carried away by the desire to have her own freedom and was ready to eliminate any obstacle that would try to stop her.
 
    If Graniti hadn't tried to talk to her, maybe it would have been easier for Albioni to change her mind, but now he knew that the only solution was her death.
 
    Only Leonora's brother made Albioni hesitate a little. If he found out the truth, he would seek revenge for his sister by giving the same end to Agustini and then Albioni, but Albioni was going to convince Graniti that Leonora had been cheating on him with someone else; Albioni had killed that man to save his honour, and Leonora, depressed by the death of her lover, had killed herself. 
 
    Knowing Graniti's mindset, he knew that he would get his full support, that Albioni had done the right thing, and that Leonora had deserved such an end together with her lover.
 
    His wife made things even easier for him, not wanting to get along with her brother. If they had already reconciled, Albioni would no longer be able to keep Leonora under control.
 
    He put the box of dessert in the fridge and went back to the living room. Leonora was using her phone.
 
    "I was thinking of going out with Denada this afternoon," she stood up. "Did you have any plans for today?"
 
    "I wanted to talk about something."
 
    "What?"
 
    "I don't like living in this country anymore. We will move to Kosovo the day after tomorrow. I have prepared everything. You will only prepare your suitcases."
 
    Albioni didn't like her judging look, of how much evilness he had in his soul. When had her eyes been fully opened that he hadn't realised in time to take further action? He was beginning to suspect that it was too late now to win against her.
 
    "We'll talk about it in the evening," Leonora commented.
 
    "Do you have money? Wait, I'll give some to you." He didn't want to let her go out. Surely, Denada also encouraged her to fight for herself. But he couldn't risk it any longer. He was on the thread of the string.
 
    "I have," she said, and she went to their bedroom to get ready.
 
    The vexation of Albioni by her calmness made her laugh, and then she removed the mask of her normal emotional state and thought anxiously about leaving Albania.
 
    She had to do something to stay. 
 
••••
    Blerimi regretted agreeing to go out with Rolandi, Izabela, and Valentina when he met the suspicious look of Leonora at the table in front of the entrance of the pastry, that he was in a relationship with Izabela because she was next to him on the left.
 
    Denada, with her back to him, turned around, curious as to why Leonora was staring at the front door, and smiled at her cousin, who broke from their friends and went to greet them.
 
    "It's a good thing that coincidence exists, and therefore we can meet," she remarked while giving him her hand. "Where have you been?"
 
    "I haven't had much free time these days."
 
    Blerimi didn't feel it necessary to look at Leonora on his right to know that she had guessed that he had just lied and hadn't gone to Denada's office due to her absence.
 
    He gave his hand to Leonora with a distant gaze on her, and from her calm gaze, as if she were meeting someone she merely knew and not someone she loved, he fell prey to the conviction that she had forgotten him; perhaps she had never even loved him, but he had created vain illusions. 
 
    "How are you?" Blerimi returned to Denada.
 
    "Fine, I'm hanging out today with Leonora since she is leaving Albania soon. Albioni must have told you, I guess, that they will live in Kosovo."
 
    He nodded and managed to hide his surprise from the shock of such news, which Albioni hadn't told him yet.
 
    Maybe he had begun to suspect them both and had planned to get rid of Leonora? Was that the last time they met? But what did she really want?
 
    If only they could talk alone just once and express everything they felt! He was afraid that Leonora would deny that she felt for him and tell Albioni what he had confessed, using as evidence the recording of the conversation she could have made on her phone. Surely she would also suspect that he had taken such a measure and was playing with her by telling her that he loved her to make her express the forbidden feelings she had, and then Blerimi would tell Albioni that his wife was cheating on him.
 
    "Okay, Blerim. We aren't keeping you further, since people are waiting for you," said Denada. "Call me sometime and let's go out."
 
    "Sure," he greeted her and turned to Leonora. "Have a nice trip," he looked at her neutrally at her existence and the fact that she was leaving, wishing with his soul that he would be able to look at her differently.
 
    "Thank you," she gave him the same look while having the same desire, and Blerimi went back to his friends.
 
    Leonora hesitated several times to turn and look at him, as she was leaving the pastry shop with Denada in front of her, to find out that she had no misplaced suspicions about his intentions, the loving look of Blerimi, which she had the impression that she had taken from him, was true, and he would prove something like that to her if she would just look at him, but she couldn't risk it.
 
    She left the pastry shop without turning her head for a single moment, and looking only ahead, she arrived at home, heartbroken by his indifference about her departure.
 
    It felt like pieces of her heart were painfully lodged in her chest when she saw Albioni in the living room, sitting on the couch to the right side of Graniti in front of her. 
 
    The blood fell to the bottom of her feet, and Leonora froze from fear when she understood their gazes, like those of the executioners towards their future victim.
 
    She instantly doubted that they had found out about her feelings for Blerimi and had guessed the worst that they both could have done.
 
    'You prepared your own end,' said Graniti's hard look like a jagged rock. 'You should have gotten along with me when you had the chance. Now suffer the consequences.'
 
    The end seemed as clear to Leonora as the pure, icy water of a spring. On that day, they were going to kill her.