STAR - JAYHOON

25

Jay felt sunghoon's tongue on his neck , sliding slowly, then his lips nibbling his birthmark. Jay got sensetive and started moving , showing that he wants sunghoon to stop, but Sunghoon had his hands now on Jay's shoulder fixing him in his spot , he was now sucking his neck

-" Stop"Jay said , annoyed

-"Why should I" he was dazed , it's been so long since he got to touch Jay

-"I don't like it " Jay moved his head trying to get away from sunghoon

-"You fucking should" sunghoon stopped Jay's head , ans pushed it closer to his lips "Don't you miss me , jay?" He was whispering while his hand slipped under Jay's shirt

Jay felt overwhelmed, he doesn't want to surrend to Sunghoon even if his touch, is the most soothing thing he can feel right now , with all the guilt jiwoo came and threw on him making his heart heavy . He's been having a lot accumulating on him , Sunoo is no longer available to rant to him , he didn't want to disturb jungwon who was already busy with his university and heejake kept pushing him to sunghoon . But Sunghoon on the other hand was always ready to listen to him , talk to him seriously about his worries , and even advice him , shouting from across the room comfort words , making Jay laugh secretly , he never wants Sunghoon to take pride in making him laugh

Now being held in Sunghoon's arms , with the younger's whispers on his neck , his soft lips moving up and down , it all felt so familiar and comforting, and it scared Jay. He struggled and stood up , leaving Sunghoon surprised, he was expecting Jay to give in for him this time , he'd usually punch him by the 3rd kiss , but sunghoon has already gave him a hickey on his neck and Jay said nothing . He gave him hope

-"Why'd you stand up?" Sunghoon said , hand holding onto Jay's , eyes big and round

-"I told you to stop"Jay took one look at him, then turned his head away , sunghoon looked so different

-"Is it because of her !" Sunghoon's voice became harsh ,and  his hold tightened on Jay's hand "did she already get in your heart for you to reject me ?" He laughed in disbelief, pulling Jay back to his lap , holding him by the shoulders and forcing him to look in his eyes

-"You don't even reject me while looking at me anymore! You met her only once !" Sunghoon yelled at Jay, startling him "Look at me , look at me jay " his voice was sad

-"It's not that " Jay was still avoiding his eyes " ofc it's not that , I wouldn't fall for a stranger that easily"

-"What is it then" sunghoon's voice became softer , encouraging Jay to talk

-"It's just that" Jay wasn't sure if he wants to talk , but sunghoon's hand stroking his back made him feel somehow like this was a safe option "It all feels weird now"

-"What's weird" sunghoon hummed

-"The effect you have " Jay was blushing , he never expected he'd say this to sunghoon , who smiled widely

-"Is that so " sunghoon's smile was full of love , he knew , looking at Jay's face , and at Jay avoiding his eyes . He finally scored a goal in Jay's heart

-"Don't you think it's so unfair , for you to be able to effect all these people's lives because of your stubbornness?" Jay got back to his senses , and changes the meaning of his previous words "Can't you just change your cast ? Sunghoon?" He looked him in the eyes , hoping this would help

-"Jay , that's not what you were talking about" sunghoon held Jay's hand and placed it on his face "what's weird ?"

-"The fact that you're risking people's lives for your own profit " Jay was back to his sense and even sunghoon's touch nor his dreamy eyes , not even the soft kisses he pressed on the palm of his hand while waiting for his answer, none of that was getting to him "You just want me to be on this work because you have some strange attraction to me , but all of these people want to work"

-"Jay" sunghoon laughed "I don't have a strange attraction to you, I love you" he pecked Jay's cheek , then slid his hands under him " but I never said that's the reason I want you to be in this film" he moved Jay from his lap to next to him on the sofa "I don't love enough to destroy my career " he smirked, getting up and walking on two feet , like he was never injured

-"Your foot!" Jay exclaimed

-"it healed a week ago , it was never broken to begin with just a twisted ankle " sunghoon didn't bother looking back "Jay , you're casted because you're talented , you should reconsider your choices while being aware of this " sunghoon walked out of the appartement not even looking at the weirded out Jay

For the first time , sunghoon walked out on Jay, his words were all emotionless , it was so .. Different

Jay never tried to reach out to sunghoon after that , and sunghoon didn't show up after leaving the house in his pyjamas and slippers .

Slowly but surely, Jay's life fell into his usual, boring and lifeless routine . Sunghoon's words were very comforting, he was casted because of his talent, it was the push he needed to go again after his dream . He found himself a part time job , and started auditioning again, chasing the directors here and there and getting fired multiple times . But unlike what he felt like a year ago , rage and embarrassment of his situation, he was more motivated

-"Did you hear anything about the park sunghoon film?"

-"He's still waiting for his star to show up"

-"Shouldn't we just go and audition?"

-"They don't even give you any auditioning script, some people said that he sits there and judges you , sometimes you get rejected just when you walk in"

-"isn't it too much, he should just drop the project, waiting for some extraordinary person to show up and impress him"

Jay was standing behind some other actresses in a set , they all had a minor role as the university friends in a popular drama . He laughed knowing damn well what's sunghoon waiting for , but Jay wasn't ready to go through it all over again, not with the soft spot he developed for sunghoon .

-"Yes!" He replied to the staff calling them to gather , they'll be shooting their scene soon

Jay walked out of the set at midnight, it was a university gathering episode which meant they had to act until late , he lit up a cigarette and walked , it's already winter , streets are wet by the rain that stopped few minutes ago , and will surely pour again in a bit. He doesn't remember when did he start smoking again , but he knows it was after sunghoon had left him

He felt so embarrassed and confused , Sunghoon definitely saw through him and realized he had some feelings for him , a certain weakness in his presence. And he decided to leave when he knew it , jay never felt so defeated in his life ,so pathetic

The sky started pouring again , and Jay had to stop to the side , under a certain building to hide from it  . He pulled another cigarette and lit it again , waiting for the rain to stop .

Jay felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist , a familiar feeling rose inside of him , and a head rested on his shoulder

-"it's been a while , my star"

Jay closed his eyes , trying to calm his breathing, and opened them to a big billboard, it was the casting for sunghoon's film , STAR . He felt sunghoon's breathing on his ear , and his heart ached