STAR - JAYHOON

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It was suffocating for Jay, he was too aware of himself, too in touch with his feelings ... And too disgusted with what he ended up doing.

Throughout the past years, he hated the person Sunghoon was, he hated his possessiveness and his audacity, his obsession, and his entitlement. The way he looked at Jay as a granted person, as someone who could only belong to him and be by his side. The way he thought Jay was never going to receive this much love and attention unless it was from him, made Jay feel sick, made him feel inferior, and looked down at

Sunghoon couldn't possibly miss that, the shift in Jay's eyes and the slow moves he does. Jay was good at hiding, not enough to hide from Sunghoon, who could easily tell if Jay was upset by his breathing, hungry by his steps, and angry by the way his ears moved when he clenched his jaw

Sunghoon watched Jay for long enough to tell if Jay hated something -he was a pro and knew exactly when Jay grew sick of something... And he definitely looked at him for long enough to see Jay's hating eyes, indifferent eyes, and disgusted eyes, change into different ones

Those of love, longing, and admiration, he knew Jay looked at him with so much positivity. Sunghoon decided to ignore the flash of fear and regret that crossed Jay's eyes so often while looking at him and decided to unsee the frown of shame that drew on his face whenever he stayed still while Sunghoon's hands roamed around him. The taller couldn't care for it all, all he could see were the hearts that slipped from Jay's eyes in his morning coffee, or while watching him do his job so passionately.

He knew... Even with all the wrongs he did, and after all the time he waited, he finally got his Jay, and that Jay, finally fell for him again

Despite the time you spend being scared, time still flows, and Jay's time was no exception. Deciding to give in to whatever was happening, swallowing his shame and embarrassment, and stepping on his own beliefs to hug the younger, he could feel his tears burn a little more than tears of pleasure would, and he knew, it was mixed with shame. He spent his time fighting himself while melting in Sunghoon's arms, while the filming was getting over with

Jay didn't have a reason to stay after the filming was over, he could be free after STAR was over and Sunghoon could do nothing about it... This was their deal.

But he never spoke, he never brought it up not even while they joked, not when his brain took over and he started putting Sunghoon in place. He never brought the separation up.

But do people change?

And do monsters become human beings?

Sunghoon's possessiveness was suffocating Jay, his growing pride while watching Jay drown in his shame, Jay hated it all. He hated how Sunghoon discovered him so fast, how he used it as a weapon

-"Can we kiss? " Sunghoon leaned in, looking at Jay with a playful smirk

-"We're on set get off" Jay remembered how he would reply usually, but he couldn't help his face heating up and pupils dilating

-"I know you love me Jay" Sunghoon smiled, closing the gap and feeling the glory as Jay's hands reached to his neck

Sunghoon never hesitated to make a move, pulling Jay for random hugs or holding his hands, throwing random confessions, and labeling him as "his". Jay knew the younger was this type of person, he always has been and will probably always be

Yet he didn't like the twisted feeling in his guts whenever Sunghoon's lips pressed on his knuckles, Or when his tongue slipped on his neck, he could feel his stomach burn and his heart clench. Even if it was his own body that kept betraying him and jumping in Sunghoon's arms whenever he was called, the same body tortured him at every touch, he couldn't forget what type of people Sunghoon was