STAR - JAYHOON

26

Sunghoon clinged to Jay's puffed jacket , holding onto it after Jay started walking , towering him but he felt like he was smaller , weaker and , even if it sounds crazy , emptier than Jay , he was looking at him with a fond smile . But to anyone walking past them, sunghoon's straight back , bowed a little

Jay walked in his appartement, and sunghoon stood at the door , not stepping in , he instead waited for Jay to allow him inside . Jay didn't look back , not even a glance , and walked inside his room

When Jay walked out of his room, heading to the shower , sunghoon was still standing there , a rain drop fell from his nose bridge , Jay have never seen sunghoon lowering his head , the strong aura sunghoon had for so long , that intimidated Jay every single time , was nowhere to be seen .

He threw his towel on Sunghoon's head "Get in" he said coldly , walking back inside his room to get a new one

-"You moved" sunghoon said, standing in the middle of Jay's new appartement , voice so small , and very reserved , even with his tall body and board shoulders ,he seemed to only cover a very small space .

Jay ignored him , all sunghoon heard was the bathroom door slamming shut . He smiled , rubbing the towel on his hair

When Jay was out of the shower , sunghoon has layed on the couch and fell asleep , he walked past him to his room , not even having a look at him , just shrugging his shoulder at a very confused Sunoo, his new roomate .

He walked the corridor, to his room, thinking he'll struggle to sleep thinking about sunghoon's sudden appearance, but as soon as he layed on his bed and turned off the lights, he slept , like he always does , right when he puts his head on the pillow , no regrets , no thoughts and no plans . Throughout the last year he only learned that staying up at night , thinking about whatever is dumb ,and will make him late for his tomorrow's commitment. Habits are scary

So as if he wasn't a wall away from the man who moved his feelings , and made him feel dumb and played in the same day , few minutes apart. Jay slept carelessly

Sunghoon woke up at 3.35 am , few minutes before jay wakes up, like he does every day , he walked to his room and sat on the edge of his bed , like he's always done for the past year  , he stared at him sleeping , studying his beautiful features , finger moving delicately on every detail he loved about him, his thick eyebrows, his sharp nose , his small but plumb lips , sunghoon had touched them all , every day for a year , in the same order , and in a religious routine. Habits are scary

He leaned forward whispering to Jay's ear "It's been three years since i started loving you " then he kissed his cheek and walked out of the room , he knew Jay was awake , otherwise he wouldn't speak , and risk making Sunoo realize his presence in the house

Jay tightened his grip on his blanket , he didn't want to talk to sunghoon, even if he knew he was wide awake now

Jay woke up at 5 , he has to catch up to his job before he gets to audition in the evenings , and shoot most of his scenes at night , he was even less than a secondary actor , no one needed to see his face anyway

He freshened up and looked at the couch , sunghoon wasn't there . He scoffed to himself for expecting so much and walked to the kitchen , making his own coffee before leaving to work

Jay stood outside his appartement, smoking his morning cigarette , he stared around him , it was still so dark, he wished he didn't have to wake up so early everyday, but there's nothing to be done , such useless thoughts are good for nothing

One breath , two breaths , theree breathes, Jay started counting how many breaths his cigarettes had , he knew it's 14 , but it's the best way to distract his brain from anything. He crashed the remainings to the wall , and walked to his Job

Heejake had their old bakery , but they were able to open a new one in the city center , and that's where they focused all their time , leaving the old one with no manpower, they thought of closing it , untill Jay jumped in . He had some money saved up and ... An inheritance . So he was able to buy it , he was good with baking , and there were many loyal clients , and very sweet teenagers who had set this bakery as their meeting center . Not too many costumers, not too few , perfect for Jay's liking

Jay arrived at the bakery, he spotted someone standing in front of it , dark hair , black coat, and black turtle neck . He inhaled deeply , and walked forward, skipping past sunghoon. He opened the bakery and walked insid , leaving the door open for sunghoon to follow him .

Jay started working directly, putting down the chairs and making sure everywhere was clean , he then moved to the kitchen, In a complete silence . Sunghoon stood there , watching Jay up close , his face holding mixed emotions, swinging between happiness, and sorrow. It was all silent, except for the loud machines Jay used

It's already 7 am , Jay started displaying his baking on the shelves . He worked so enthusiastically on everything, just to stand up defeated in front of his cakes , he looked at them in disapproval, they looked so basic it was pathetic, but he wasn't going to destroy what's basic, for something he didn't know what could it be

-"you can place some cream here and top it with fruits" sunghoon's hands slipped around Jay's waist and held his hand , making him squeeze just enough cream to make the cake stand out , he then placed a strawberry on top of it , it was the perfect choice "Just like the old days , you loved the strawberry cake right?"

Sunghoon arms locked Jay in a hug , while his head rested on top of Jay's this time , he knew Jay will break free in a minute , and he couldn't tease himself with Jay's smell , Jay always smelled so sweet

The older placed his hands on Sunghoon's, gently loosening his grip, he then moved away , serving all the other cakes he made , except for the one sunghoon decorated

-"You're going to ignored me forever?" Sunghoon asked behind Jay making him stop for a split second, he then resumed walking , not giving sunghoon any answers

-"Are you mad at me ?" He followed Jay around "I'm sorry"

-"You don't have to be" Jay stopped him "You didn't do anything wrong, if anything, it was the best decision you ever made"

-"Jay" sunghoon's voice sounded broken

-"You gave me the space I always asked for , thank you " Jay smiled at him, but Sunghoon's heart didn't dance, it ached instead

-"You were supposed to come find me " sunghoon said , explaining himself "I wanted you to take that step, after realizing you had no confidence in how good you were"

-"I didn't want to find you" Jay was back to his work "This wasn't a dramatic breakup, that you're acting like it is , you stalked me and tricked me , and finally I became free" he was examinating his every piece thoughtfully before displaying it

-"But you needed .. to find me" sunghoon's voice broke "

-"And i didn't"

-"Why are you so calm ?" Sunghoon wasn't liking how Jay treated him " why aren't you yelling at me !I left you right after realizing you no longer hate me "

-"Because it made me realize " Jay smiled " even the random guy who was obssesed with me , didn't want to take my love "

-"I want it !" Sunghoon held Jay's hand "I want your love"

-"You had to stay then" Jay shook his hand , and walked back inside the kitchen

Sunghoon's world was collapsing, he had planned this for so long , how he'll meet Jay again , after waiting for him for a year ,only watching him from a distance, but he always had hope , after seeing Jay's eyes and face that day , he believed Jay loved him and he will always do . He over estimated a seed he'd just planted in Jay's heart , and he left it to die , so young