two red cards | F4 Thailand : MJ

5. hold the applause

"falling for someone who clearly won't care"

My entire world felt like it was on fire. I couldn't believe that at this moment, I was kissing MJ of F4 in the middle of an alleyway. And wow, if first kisses weren't always this good then I would say that I got damn lucky.

His hands tangled into my hair, deepening the kiss. All of a sudden he lifted me up which caused me to wrap my legs around his waist. MJ gently bit my bottom lip before sliding his tongue into my mouth. Now this was a new experience on top of a new experience. I wasn't sure what to do and he pulled back slightly.

"If you're not ready for that, we don't have to." He brushed back the hair from my face.

I shook my head, whispering, "I just don't know what to do..."

Embarrassed, I looked away, but still kept my hands clasped around his neck. MJ planted a kiss on my neck before responding, "Wait, was that your first kiss?"

Glancing at him, I nodded. A perplexed look crossed his face before it changed to an unexplainable look. He leaned in and gave me a peck on the mouth. "I'm honored."

His response made me let out a short laugh. MJ slowly put me to my feet and grabbed my face in his hands, "I like your laugh."

My eyes looked down, flustered. How could he make me so easily...shy? He played with the strands of my hair and was about to say something before another voice echoed into the alley.

"The hell?"

My heart stopped, looking down the alleyway I saw Thyme. But I instantly looked away when he looked from MJ to me. I thought MJ would pull away but he didn't. Instead, he grabbed my waist and pulled me into his chest. I tried pushing against his chest to get out of his grasp, this would not make Thyme any calmer. It would only make him more pissed.

Peering down at me, he whispered, "You're okay."

My brows furrowed before realization swept in when I noticed my hands shaking. Why couldn't I not come across as weak? It feels like ever since I was transferred to their school, my entire persona changed. Of course, I was never as outspoken like Gorya, but I never would've gotten this scared. Unless I was at home, but that was a story for another time. 

I moved my gaze to the ground, thinking why all of this was happening to me. Had I done something in my past life for this to be my fate? Not that I didn't like MJ, but he happened to be a part of F4. If Thyme wasn't part of their life then maybe I would think it was a good thing right now, but even that was far-fetched. At this moment, I could not believe that he had kissed me and I let him.

But of course, Thyme had to show up and ruin the moment. At least I'm pretty sure that was considered a moment between us. Had he seen us kissing too?

"Thyme..."

MJ didn't let go of my waist as he addressed his friend who was looking at him with anger in his gaze. Thyme had his hands clenched into tight fists, his brows knotted together in irritation.

"What the hell were you doing with her?" He pointed his hand right at me, making me want to shrink back into the shadows.

I truly wanted to go back to the days when I was invisible to everyone in the entire school. I already had to suffer at home, but I had to suffer at school as well. And now probably outside of school and home too, I feel like this was proof of that. 

MJ looked down at me before looking back at his friend, "I'm pretty sure you can conclude what was happening," He paused for a moment, squeezing my waist, "I was teaching her a lesson."

Now, I looked up at him in confusion. Why did he say that? Was he so afraid of Thyme that he had to lie? But how could MJ who's part of the mafia be afraid of him? His blatant lie brought more questions into my mind.

"Teaching her lesson," Thyme scoffed, "You expect me to believe that? I'm not an idiot MJ."

I felt MJ tense a little bit before returning back to his relaxed composure.

"Why would I lie?" His fingers started to dig into my skin, but he didn't seem to notice.

Thyme let out a laugh, that was almost evil. "Well, why would you not lie about kissing the red card?"

I felt my face redden, so he had seen us.

"So what if I did? It's not like it would go any further then that, or happen again."

I don't know why but my heart felt like it just cracked. Was his plan to steal my first kiss all along?

MJ snickered before speaking again, "I purposely kissed her, to play with her emotions. Isn't that all part of the game?"

He didn't mean anything that he said or did, but then why did he defend me after Thyme had left the stadium that day? MJ released me and flicked my forehead, "You honestly believe that I'd like someone like you?"

He made his way over to a smirking Thyme, who now had his hands inside of his pockets. My head lowered in disbelief and hurt.

"Now, whenever you think of your first kiss, you'll forever be hurt."

Both of them let out a loud laugh and disappeared. I crouched down, wrapping my arms around my legs, trying not to cry. Why was I chosen for this  awful life? I heard small steps make their way toward me, but I didn't look up.

"Ila, are you okay?"