two red cards | F4 Thailand : MJ

12. growing up can go to hell

"my younger self would be so sad"

MJ hadn't said a word after Ren had calmly explained everything to him. Some things that had not even been revealed to me. My mind felt like it was going to combust and splatter all the walls in this room. Not to mention, my heart was beating so rapidly I could feel it without even putting a hand to my chest. I peeked up at the clock, revealing that I was most definitely late for work. Kanya was probably worried, I would have to make it up to her tremendously later.

If only I had an ounce of the bravery that Gorya had. Even if it was just a measly speck of courage, I would stand up and exit the room. But I wasn't her and never would be. Here bravery is something that I would probably never have, I couldn't help my more timid nature.

To be honest, I was surprised that he seemed more shocked than I was. But I'm sure that this news would bewilder the entire school. Though I knew that this news would never get out to others, Thyme would make sure of that. He wouldn't want to make himself look bad or worse than he already is for that matter. Even if most everyone in the school had this weird infatuation with him. This school was simply messed up to an unknown degree.

I looked up to see MJ with his arms crossed, his foot tapping against the floor. His perplexed look changed into one of discontent.

"So does that mean you'll take away her red card?" His hands tightened into fists, relaxed, and tightened again.

Thyme groaned, letting his head fall back. "Why should I?"

MJ stared at him in disbelief, "You've never given a girl a red card but giving your own sister one? That's even more far gone than just giving one to Gorya."

Thyme wore a bored expression on his face, "She's only my sister by blood, but not by law." He came forward and bent down, patting the side of my cheek with each word that he said. "She. Will. Keep. The. Red. Card."

Straightening, he turned back to face MJ. Placing his hand on top of his shoulder, "Besides, I already have a sister."

If I could describe the look on MJ's face, it would be with the words, what the fuck. Just knowing the fact I had not one sibling but two—it made me wish that I never begged to come to this school in the first place. Maybe I would have been better off at a school that wasn't the best, that being like the older girls that I've always watched when I was dropped off at the now abandoned playground. My younger self just had to find them absurdly cool, in a way I wanted to blame them for this mess I was in. But it wasn't their fault, I knew that.

The only person that I should be blaming was myself, with my easily influenced mind and heart. Sometimes being influenced made me naive, maybe that's why MJ had made his way into my heart so quickly. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that the Kocher High School wasn't worth it, that you shouldn't attend later. Unfortunately, time travel doesn't exist and probably wouldn't in this lifetime.

If I could, I would warn little girls now that this school was not what they thought it was. I wouldn't tell them that my biological brother was the reason why, nor that he decided to target me. I'd like to tell them in a way that wouldn't scar them for the rest of their life, but tell them in a way to keep them from attending Kocher. Though, there haven't been any children anywhere close to possibly romanticize the school. If there were, I hoped they didn't end up like me.

"Thyme, she's your family. Whether you like it or not." Kavin stared at his friend, also shocked at his words.

Thyme rolled his eyes, "She'll never be my family." And with that, he left the room and left the rest of us dumbfounded.