two red cards | F4 Thailand : MJ

6. lonesome

"and there's no hope in misery"

Kanya rubbed my back in effort to comfort me. I had explained what happened, which resulted in a look of pity from her. As I sat there recounting the events of the day, I felt a wave of emotions wash over me. I was upset and confused all at the same time. It was hard for me to understand how things had gone this way, despite me never doing anything to deserve it. At least that's what I thought. 

Kanya didn't say a single word, but that didn't matter. There was something about her calming energy that helped in easing my emotions. After a few minutes, I took a deep breath and looked up at Kanya who held a look of compassion on her face. 

"I don't know what to do," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"It's okay," Kanya replied, still gently rubbing my back. "We'll figure it out together."

I blinked, staring at her, "My first kiss was stolen Kanya."

"Not if you just erase it from your mind. Besides, how could you have believed that he was being serious?"

"I don't know..."

Kanya sighed while standing up, she reached her hand down to me and I took it. Then we made our way back to the inside of the cafe. As we went back behind the counter-I realized what time it was, how long had I left her running the cafe alone?

I really owed her one.

There were only a few minutes left, so there was nothing else really left to do, so we just stood there. Well, Kanya had decided to go ahead and go the cash in the register while I restocked the cups, lids, and everything else. Now that it was getting close to closing time, I sighed, not looking forward to heading home. But that wasn't anything new unfortunately, I would take fifty part-time jobs over going home any day. Yet, there wasn't anything I could do about that.

Heading in the locker room, I opened up my locker and grabbed my clothes. Walking into the dressing room, I shut the door behind me and locked it before changing. I slid my shoes back on and tied up the laces. If they weren't dirty before they were definitely dirty now, from what I call murky flood water, even if it wasn't actually water from a flood. Though it had surely looked like it. The bottoms of the shoes were covered in dried mud which would be a pain to clean.

After finishing my work, I walked over to my locker and carefully removed my uniform, taking the time to fold it nicely before placing it inside. Seeing as  that it did not need to be washed just yet, so I left it placed inside the locker. I then picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder, feeling the weight of the books and supplies inside. As I turned to leave, I saw Kanya opening the door of the employee locker room, but she held the door open, realizing that I was standing there. I smiled and thanked her, feeling grateful for her kindness.

Kanya was always so kind that I felt as if I didn't deserve her. 

She never wavered in her generous spirit. Her actions not only spoke to her inherent goodness but also her ability to empathize with others. Her kindness was not just limited to me, but it extended to everyone she encountered, making her a beloved presence in the lives of many. I have always been in awe of her ability to bring so much warmth and light into the world, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have her in my life.

I only just hoped that her being in my life wouldn't be her pain in the future.