Happy To Die

Chapter 11

I decided to go with Namjoon to finish the drop off for the last file, I was confused, angry, and in shock at everything that just happened. As far as I knew Namjoon was and is my boyfriend, I did not have a fiancé. The ride was silent most of the drive, Namjoon twined our fingers together. He didn't say anything he just wanted to touch me. We had finally reached our destination; I took the thumb drive out the pocket of my boot. Two figures dressed in Jeons uniform knocked on the window signaling for us to hand the thumb drive over to them. Namjoon allowed our driver to roll down his window, handing the thumb drive to my fathers' employees. Namjoon clenched his jaw, punching one of the worked in the nose.

"My girlfriend is not something you are allowed to look at, you look at me...got it." He was tense I didn't blame him; he had every right to be upset.

"I fucking told you to stop staring, just get this to the Jungkook. I'm going to get the first aid kit." One of the workers sniped. We were already turning around to head back to our home, I watched our driver flip the control panel, rolling Namjoon's window back up. Rested my head on his shoulder, I was sore and tired, so was he.

"A shower sounds nice right now." Namjoon chuckled, holding my hand once more.

"It does, the bed sounds pretty great as well." Namjoon slid down in his seat resting his head close to mine, our bodies relaxed enough to doze off, falling asleep on the drive back home. Our driver nudged Namjoon, letting him know we were home, opening the door pulling me into his arms, carrying me to the door. What he didn't know is Changkyun was watching us, Namjoon unlocked the door the light from the hallway forcefully woke me up. I opened my eyes. Namjoon smiled, staring at me, he was happy to be home, happy to still have our normal.

"Let's take that shower.", Namjoon sat me on the edge of our bed, taking off my clothes as if this was a normal night for us. Did he not care that I was engaged? Of course, he didn't see Changkyun's sudden announcement of another business arrangement. I felt the same way, when did I become his business gain?

Namjoon, took off his bloody clothes, dropping them in front of me, I found myself distracted, he was perfect, and he was mine. Namjoon allowed to stare a little longer, before walking into the bathroom and starting the shower. I continued to stare at him, when he came back for me. Why were we programmed like this? We were taught to respond to constant change. I didn't understand, I didn't care, I only followed him into the shower.

"Haven, no matter what I will always choose you." Namjoon wiped my tears away, why was I crying? I know I still cared about Changkyun, but the bond Namjoon I had, the bond we had always had, I knew that we would find our way back to each other, if we had to breakup. I needed him close to me, he needed me too, our lips met one another under the hot water. Blood washed off our bodies, dripping down into the drain, washing away everything we had gone through tonight, while our lips, our bodies, continued to build something stronger, making out under the shower.

That night Namjoon and I didn't feel condoms were important, I knew I had a backup for me not to get pregnant. Did I even want to take it? Namjoon was gentle that night, we were both sore, but we pushed through that, as if tonight was all we had left. I woke up the next morning to see the staff coming quietly packing all our things up. I rolled over resting my head on Namjoon's chest, while he slept. Namjoon wrapped his arms around me, smiling in his sleep.

I continued to lay there watching everyone work, the staff held out clothes I would want to wear for the remainder of the time I was still here, they continued showing Namjoon's as well. I picked for the both of us. The staff seemed to understand that this was a real relationship, why couldn't anyone else accept that. Namjoon kissed my head, once our eyes met everything else began to fade away, he meant to give me a good morning kiss, but I found myself turning it into something more, Namjoon didn't care that the staff was still in our bedroom, he wanted them to see, let them talk. He wanted Changkyun to know that his fiancé loved another man, that man didn't intend on going anywhere either.