Back Again | Sapnap ✔︎

15. I Trust You..

- Y/n's POV -

Your eyes flutter open slowly and you squint, your eyes adjusting to the white fluorescent light.

Once you can properly see, you turn your head to see Sapnap asleep on a chair next to you.

Then look to your other side, where there's an IV going into your hand, bandages wrapped around your wrist.

I was really wishing they wouldn't have made it to me in time.

You sigh in defeat, moving your arm up to tap on your sleeping boyfriend's shoulder.

You wince in pain as you put your hand back down, watching Sapnap's eyes open.

They widen as he sees you.

"Oh my god, you're awake," he whispers, taking his hand to rake through your hair.

You look down at your lap, refusing to meet eyes with him.

You think he notices your tense stance because he removers his hand from your hair and looks at you with a sad expression on his face.

"Y/n, look at me," he says, stern.

You turn your head to look at him, tears filling your eyes.

"Yeah?"

He sighs, his expression softening. "I thought you said you would be safe, m'lady."

Now it's your turn to sigh as a tear rolls its way down your cheek.

"I know, I know.." You start. "I'm sorry."

Sapnap takes your hand in his. "It's okay, y/n. I'm just so beyond grateful that me and Karl found you in time."

You pull your hand away from his after that, going cold.

Your boyfriend lets out a sound of confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't want to be saved," you retort, and the room goes silent again.

For a long, long time.

Well, maybe not that long, but it felt like centuries.

"You wanted to leave everything you've built in your life over the last 20 years? You wanted to leave all of your friends and your brothers?" He questions, making your fists clench slightly.

He puts his hand on your shoulder and you meet his eyes.

"You wanted to leave me?"

You push his hand off of you and look straight forward and stare angrily at the wall ahead of you.

"Sapnap, I don't think you understand everything that's going on in my mind right now," You spit out, venom lacing your words.

You can feel him jump slightly next to you as you continue to vent to him.

"I can feel him on me everywhere I go. Everything I do, he's there. He's on me. No matter how hard I scrub, he's still there."

Sapnap stays silent. So, you continue.

"I was finally starting to recover from what he did to me as a kid and he just shows up again, unannounced, rapes me multiple times in the span of 8 hours while my stepmom watches, and then kills himself. These are things that I may never recover from. So, what would be the point in me staying alive anymore? I don't want to live the rest of my days on this godforsaken Earth feeling the touch of that sinful man on my skin."

You finally finish your rant; panting, sobbing, and gasping for air.

Sapnap gets out of his chair and hugs you tightly. "I know how hard this is for you, though I can't imagine how you feel. I just want to help you, my love.." He drags, letting go from the hug to wipe your tears with his thumb.