Back Again | Sapnap ✔︎

17. Anything But Easy..

- Sapnap's POV -

I just left Y/n at the hospital as she was eating her breakfast, and now I'm left driving down the road, blankly staring at the pavement ahead of me.

I know that's what was best for her. I think any person on the outside looking in would agree when I say that she needs help.

But just because I was aware it needed to happen, doesn't mean it hurts any less.

The radio isn't on, so there's no noise around me besides the sound of the wheels tricking on the pavement.

Now I'm just left with my spiraling thoughts.

You know, there's nothing easy about this. To be completely honest, nothing between what has happened to Y/n and me has been easy.

Hell, our lives the last year or so have been anything but easy.

Everything with her and Dream, Silas, her dad. It's all just been trickling down.

I don't blame Y/n for what she did. Even if I were to blame her, that would be beyond fucked up.

I know that she's genuinely struggling. That's why I knew she needed to go stay in the hospital for a while until the people there can help her get back on her feet.

Then something hits me.

What the hell am I going to tell the fans?

I mean, sure, me and Y/n have been pretty absent from streaming for the last few weeks, but adding another few to the mix is gonna make it a lot more suspicious.

I think it would be best to just not say anything until Y/n is back and she can decide what to tell everyone.

Then for a while, my mind goes quiet, just focusing on the road and my surroundings.

The hospital was a little over 45 minutes from the house, and now I've only been driving for a little over 25, so it'll be a while before I get back to the house.

Then I trail back again, thinking about everything that happened last time I was at home just yesterday.

Y/n in the bathtub..

Covered in her own blood.

Her nude body, lying practically lifeless in front of my eyes.

I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

I try to shake off the feeling, but it just won't leave, so I decide to pull off to the side of the road.

Once I'm parked safely, I rest my head against the wheel and let out a sob, letting all the tears fall.

———————

I pull into the driveway, my mind taking a few moments to even realize that I made it home.

Just after putting the car in park, I can see out of the corner of my eye Dream rushing over to me.

He opens the driver's side door and helps me out of the car, pulling me into a breath-crushing hug.

He knew I wasn't doing good because when I had pulled over on the side of the road, I called him to see if he could get me to calm down.

After a while, he could, but nonetheless he was still worried, I guess.

"Sap," He starts, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry this all happened."

I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck and mumble into his shirt. "It's okay Dream, I'm okay."