EIGHT: That Doesn't Define You

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Warning
Suicide talk
Emotions

WarningSuicide talkEmotions

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-Grayson

The school years almost over. Only a few more weeks until me and Jade have to turn in our final assignment.

I'm laying in bed while Jade lays next to me. I turn to her as she is just laying there thinking.

"What's on your mind?" I ask out of curiosity.

She looks at me and says, "I'm just thinking about you..." I lift a brow, "What about me?"

Why me?

She looks around nervously as she says, "I've never really been able to actually see your scars on your back." I take an intake of breath.

Wasn't prepared for that answer.

She turns onto her side quickly and makes eye contact with me as she says, "You don't have to show me. You know i'd never pressure you into showing me. I was just thinking about it."

I shake my head, "No, if you wanna see it i'll show you." She looks at me, "Are you sure Grayson? You don't have to."

I look at her as I get up, "It's fine." As I finally stand I start to slowly take my shirt off.

No one has ever seen what father has done to me other than my personal doctor.

Jade gets up off the bed and walks over to me. She looks at me and asked, "May I?" I slowly nod.

She gently lays her hand on my scars as she quietly says under her breath, "Pansy. Worthless. Wimp. Useless. Débil. Pointless." (Débil: Weak)

I physically flinch as she touches a specific scar. "What type of monster would do this to their own child?" She says quietly as I look at the wall in front of me and said, "My father."

She walks in front of me and says, "Look at me." I don't budge and so she lays both of her hands on the sides of my face and said, "Grayson, look at me."

As she makes me look at her I notice that her eyes are glistening, "All of those words that he carved onto your back do not define you. Okay? You need to know that those do not define YOU!"

I try to look away as my eyes start to water but she wouldn't let me.

I watch as a tear runs down her cheek as she says, "Grayson, you are strong. You are worth everything. You are NOT useless. You are none of those words. Never allow those words to define you."

She wraps her arms around my neck as I bend down so she's not on her tippy toes. I wrap my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

Once we both stop hugging I grab my shirt to put it back on but Jade snatches it out of my hand and says, "I have seen you shirtless. No point in putting it back on." 

I walk over to the bed and lay down as she lays with me. As we both get comfortable Jade starts to run her fingers along my tattoos.

Once she gets to my rib tattoo she asked, "What's the meaning of this quote? 'Find you fire and do not be afraid to burn bridges that deserve to fall.'"

I lightly chuckle at that one, "My mom always told me that as a little boy. It means to not be afraid, to let go of what was and get used to what is. It also means to leave the past behind you and never look back."

I look at her as she just looks at me with a look i'm not familiar with.

Why does this make me feel some type of way?

Once she looks at my shirtless body she says, "You have one too?" I look at her in confusion until she pointed at the semicolon that's on my v-line.

I look at her in shock, "Wait a second. You have a tattoo?" She lightly smiles and nods at me before she moves down the side of her pants and underwear to show me it.

"It's always hidden." She says as I ask, "Why hide it?"

"Because my parents find tattoos as a sin..."

Tattoos a sin?

How interesting.

"I think that is the dumbest fucking thing you have ever told me. It's a way of expressing yourself." I say in disagreement.

"See that's what i'm saying. I think tattoos are beautiful because they all have so much meaning." She says with a small smile on her face.

I make eye contact with her as I ask, "Why did you get a Semicolon? You don't have to tell me if you don't want it's really none of my business in the first place." I look at her face as it goes dim.

"My childhood best friend killed herself." She says as I look at her with such anguish.

No one deserves to feel like they would be better off gone.

"I'm sorry." I say out of sorrow for her loss.

She nods and says, "No need to be sorry. It happened and there's no way of changing it now..." I look at her as I pull her into a much needed hugs as she starts to tear up.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be crying right now." She says as she crys on my chest. I scoff, "Cry as much as you need. Never be ashamed of letting your emotions out."

Why do I care so much?

I continue to hold her even when she was done crying. She has this comforting presence that not many people have.

As I lay with her I can hear her breathing start to slowly go even. She's asleep.

Why is it that I feel this way. Why does she care for me as I care for her? Aren't we supposed to hate each other?

But we trust each other. All of this is so surreal. It's scary to know that I trust someone.

I shouldn't trust anyone.

That gets me no where in life trusting someone.

But she makes me feel cared about for once in my life. She's my enemy and my Rival but I still care for her more than I should.

Why though?

AUTHORS NOTE

Soooo is Grayson starting to notice his feelings for Jade?

Will Jade feel the same?

What will happen next?

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