It must be nice... (Jamilton)

You Don't Even Know What You're Asking Me to Confess

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Thomas had rushed out the door and now found himself by the park, he had checked the time on his phone to see that it was 5:14pm. Funny how things always seemed to happen at this time. 

The boy sighed as he sat on a bench nearby, just to spot two familiar figures in the distance as he did. He let their silhouettes drag closer before standing up again, the two boys before him were still dressed in their blue uniform. The shorter one: Alexander, looked a little rough. There were slightly swollen dark circles under his eyes and his face was void of any happiness, or, emotion with a slight frown on his face. John was beside him, his eyes already on Thomas as the two met awkward eyes. "Uh... hey" Thomas gave John a sheepish smile before clearing his throat. "Yes, hi, just fix it" John's expression was rather unhappy as he glanced to Alex, then to Jefferson, waiting for the shorter to step forward. Thomas, taken aback by his forwardness, just gave him a swift nod then looked to Hamilton, not quite surprised by his tired appearance, but definitely curious. The taller motioned towards the park itself with his head, indicating a more private place to talk. Alex's gaze met the park for a moment before he sighed and started walking towards it slowly, no words were spoken as Jefferson followed closely beside him, mentally running through the script in his mind - although it was not too obvious outwardly, he was still rather nervous about this confrontation, especially after what had happened last time. 

The two boys walked towards the large kids' park, but rather than entering it the two took a turn to enter the small tree shaded area beside it, which was filled with patches of grass and stood located near a small lake. John followed close by but stopped near a thick tree, watching the two head towards the metal bench before the lake, which this year round happened to have a lot of happy ducks and geese chilling within the glossy water. Usually they'd peck curiously and shoot hopeful looks at the humans, asking for bread and snacks - but today's warm weather had them floating around with closed eyes and dipping their long necks into the water like anchors. They were happy. 

Thomas and Alex sat on the worn metal bench before the water, an awkward atmosphere surrounding the two as they both stared out into the lake, eyes grazing the cute feathered creatures which seemed just so content - unlike them. Thomas was nervous about his words as he looked out, questioning every answer he was going to give to questions he didn't yet know. Whilst Alexander was still strung-up on a heartbreak of a very short-lived space of memories which he missed and adored none-the-less. Lord knows he's been through worse... However goodbye's always seemed to latch on to him no matter how much they pushed him forward. 

Thomas let out a guilty sigh, trying to clear the air as he caught Alexander's attention for a split second, the boy looked down into his lap, eyes closed as he accepted the moment. He took a breath before gathering the courage to look at Alexander's face, an element of the disgust he had still lingered but was mainly faded and replaced with a different sensation, which had the exact attributes of shame and guilt. "Look.. I'm sorry" he said softly, his eyes searching for a reaction from the boy - he could sense something in him was off but didn't dare crush his bold image by asking. Alex scoffed lightly and shook his head, turning back to look at the glistening water - which started to dull with a moving cloud overhead getting in the way of the sun. "You've already said that" muttered Alex, his voice quiet as he murmured. "I.. know" Thomas sighed, scanning his mind for words to say, something at least... But he knew everything he spoke would be used against him and that it was no use trying to be nice, so why was he...? "I'm not good at this small talk thing, and I don't know what else you want me to say" admitted Thomas, also looking out at the ducks - Alexander gave no reaction, in fact he could barely get himself to concentrate. At the lack of response, Jefferson looked to him, wondering why the guy who never shut up was suddenly so dead silent. "You're the one who wanted me here" mumbled Alex, smiling down at his lap briefly, with a sarcastic smile. "Kinda thought you'd have something to say." he looked up again, as Jefferson watched him. "Yeah... I.." Thomas sighed, he knew Alex was right, yet it was so hard to admit. He wasn't going to admit it. "I know, but words just don't... translate really well" Thomas said, sounding unsure of himself as he spoke, unironically proving his point as Alexander sighed - "Yeah. I guess I get it." he said, his voice stiff but honest. "Sometimes you have something to say but it gets lost in translation" he said. "That's why I stick to paper... things sound better when you write them down, and you can always alter them later" he admitted, leaning back into the bench as he spoke tiredly, Thomas nodded along as he spoke, a hint of surprise in his widened eyes at Alexander's demeaner. The sole fact he wasn't burning his glare straight into his soul astounded him - perhaps it was a good start? "Ah.. right.." Jefferson was still feeling the slight awkwardness although it was melting away little by little. There was another pause, neither of them had spoken any more. Thomas felt as if Alexander had been edging to say something but he changed his mind, he scanned his face closely for once, watching his glossed over eyes, his slight growing facial hairs, his dark hair flowing with the breeze every now and then.