Let Me Hear You

[ My Word ]

After admitting that we could feel each other no matter where we were in the castle, we stopped trying to ignore it. Although we still couldn't be seen staring at each other, we began talking more often through our minds in public. It began small – a quick "hello" in passing or a subtle "stop picking on them, they're only first years" when I caught him, as usual, punishing the terrified children. As the days passed by, however, we found ourselves seeking conversation even when we weren't in the same room.

"I hope Slughorn hasn't rearranged my storeroom. I spent ten years organising it the correct way." He slipped into my mind while I was in Potions. He must be in his office down the hall. "I wouldn't know how you had it organised, Severus. You never allowed students in there." I quipped. It is so exhilarating to feel so close to him when I know he is nowhere near me. "Fair enough. I should come in there and look for myself. Maybe I can also see how poorly he is shaping up compared to me." Though I knew he was joking, the thought of seeing him made my stomach flutter.

"Come on over, Severus. I'm sure he is too scared of you to protest. He is teaching us just fine, though I must admit, he is a fair bit nicer." I felt unashamedly smug about being able to have this sort of relationship with him, even if nobody knew. No one in their right mind would even dream of speaking to him as freely as I am able to. "You don't seem to mind my lack of niceness, Hazel." I really don't mind anything he does.

"What's more concerning, Severus, is that you don't seem to mind interrupting my lessons. You should be ashamed." He can interrupt me any time he likes. "I know you don't mind it, though. What are you brewing today?" My core throbbed at his retort. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. "Amortentia. Please be quiet for a moment; it is my turn to smell." I was next in line.

Severus taught us how to brew the love potion last year, but Slughorn insisted on a refresher due to the fact that it will be in our N.E.W.T.'s. Last year I smelt cherry blossom, vanilla, and rain. Unlike the other people in my class, I didn't smell someone I was attracted to. At the time, I was not infatuated with anyone. I simply smelt the things I loved. As I leant over the cauldron and inhaled, my heart sank. The smell has completely changed.

I lied to Slughorn, telling him that I smelt the same as last year. I sat back down at my desk, panting. I knew my feelings were strong, but I had no idea they were strong enough to be picked up by the most powerful love potion. "Well?" The return of his voice made me whimper. I paused for a moment, not sure if I should confess the betrayal of my nose. "What did you smell?" Maybe I can lie.

"That's incredibly personal, Severus." I hoped he would drop it. "You didn't mind telling everyone that you loved the smell of cherry blossoms, vanilla, and rain last year." How did he remember that? "You have a good memory. I smelt the same this time, too." I scrunched my eyes closed and crossed my fingers. Childish, I know, but I needed all the luck I could get. "Very well, you don't have to tell me." I should have known he wouldn't believe me. "See you tonight for rounds, Hazel." At least he has moved on. "You will, Severus."

I skipped dinner tonight. I needed to recollect myself after realising that I love something more than cherry blossoms, vanilla, and rain. Love is an incredibly strong word, though. Surely no seventeen-year-old reallyloves anything or anyone. I sat in front of my fire, trying to convince myself that I was simply maturing and that I just don't love the smell of rain as much as I used to.

I can't feel Severus, which means he is not in his office or chambers. He must be at dinner. I don't know how I am going to calm my nerves before seeing him. I am so exhausted, but I don't have time for a nap. I went to my bathroom and started to fill my bath tub. Much like the one in the prefect's bathroom, mine is quite large and has taps for oils and bubbles. More specifically, vanilla scented bath oil.