Let Me Hear You

Love.

Four little letters that are substantially heavy. A weight so crushing that even Hercules would buckle under the pressure. A gravity so intense that it would threaten to realign the planets. A tidal wave of vulnerability that would tear down the tallest mountain, leaving behind nothing but dirt and debris in its wake. I will carry the weight of those four letters on my shoulders until he is able to share the load.

"We must be prepared for what awaits us", Severus had said. If our bond breaks and there are no feelings left other than those between a regular student and teacher, will the load be more or less heavy? It is one thing to accept that what we feel is true and real, but it is entirely another to have to pretend as though the feelings were never there.

I could not live with myself if, after all was said and done, I had not told him how I felt. I could feel the fear rippling off him as that word slipped from my lips. I knew he couldn't or wouldn't say it in return. At the beginning of the year, Albus told me to be patient with him, and so I will wait. I will wait until he is ready or until the bond breaks, whichever comes first.

That night, we simply laid in each other's arms, curled up on the couch in front of the fire. Neither of us so much as uttered a word after my confession, and I couldn't tell which one was more anxious than the other.

His anxiety stemmed from more than just the fear of what may or may not be true. It was a dark, deep-rooted dread. It felt as though I were a Dementor performing The Kiss on him, sucking the soul straight from his core. Those four letters ricocheted through his body, holding him in a vice.

And yet, through the black depths of his inner demons, there was a whisper of light. A barely visible shimmer of something on the horizon of his sea of self-loathing. A hint of a four-letter word of a similar calibre. One that could threaten the destruction of the fortress he has spent his whole life building up, keeping him imprisoned within himself.

Hope.

I woke with a start when Severus jerked upwards, cursing. We had fallen asleep in the Room of Requirement, and it was half past four in the morning. With a quick peck on my lips, he rushed me through the secret passageway and through his fireplace into my bedroom. I wanted to be upset at his urgency, but I understood. I was just grateful to have been able to spend at least half a night in his warm embrace.

This morning I woke up a year older but feeling as though I had aged ten. I wondered if Severus felt the same, though I suspected he was used to the kind of pressure we were both under. As my eyes fluttered open, I noticed a flurry of pink. I rubbed my eyes a little too furiously to shake away the blur and gasped.

A bonsai cherry blossom tree was hovering at the foot of my bed. It sat in an intricate cast iron pot that resembled a miniature cauldron, adorned with a snake slithering around its exterior, with its head resting proudly on the lip and eyes fixated on the tiny pink petals.

My eyes welled up instantly, and despite my trembling chin, I grinned. He didn't need to say that four-letter word; he shows me that he loves me every day. As I rolled over to stand and get a better look, I noticed a card on my bedside table, sealed with an emerald green wax stamp with an "S" in the centre. My cheeks flushed. He must have come during the night. How did I not hear the fireplace erupt? I carefully peeled the letter open and felt my eyes tear up again.

Mine,

Happy eighteenth birthday, darling.

I created this cherry blossom for you. It will neither perish nor wither; it is linked to us. A piece of each of us pulses through its roots. So long as we hold each other's hearts, it will not die.