Let Me Hear You

[ A Very Warm Christmas ]

Though the Christmas Eve dinner had been extravagant, it was all a blur. As I sat listening to the bubbling chatter, all I could focus on were their minds. Though it was nothing new, this felt different. Forbidden. Invasive. Now that more people will begin to find out that I can read their minds, I feel more on edge than ever. I have never felt ashamed of my gift; Granny Q saw to that. But it was easier when no one knew.

Severus only attempted to slip into my mind once during dinner. "We can leave, if you'd prefer." When I didn't respond, he remained silent. On any other occasion, he would ensure one of us left before the other. Tonight, however, he waited until I was ready to leave. He stood when I stood, and he followed when I exited. It was comforting. He didn't push; he simply let me be alone while ensuring I was anything but.

I could feel his trepidation radiating off of him in indescribable waves. It made it almost unbearable to be in his presence, yet his presence was the only thing I needed right now. A familiar, paralysing paradox. It wasn't until we stepped into my room that I realised we had come through my door and not my fireplace. We always came to my room through his fireplace. It was less conspicuous that I entered his office than that he entered the Slytherin common rooms every other day.

I couldn't help but smile softly at his continuous, silent reassurance. I stood in front of my window, staring out at the deep, dark depths of the Black Lake. It wasn't until I felt his hand on my shoulder that I realised I had, once again, zoned out. "Hmm?" I sighed both at his touch and at being pulled from my trance. "I asked if you were alright." He grasped my other shoulder lightly and turned my body to face him.

It took everything I had not to look away from his piercing gaze. He was intense at the best of times, and now, in my moment of weakness, it was almost too much to bear. "Please stop asking me that, Severus." He brought his hands up to cup my cheeks, stroking them softly. "Why?" I couldn't help but lean into his touch. "Because I don't know the answer." I didn't feel the lone tear that escaped my eye until it was swept away by his lips pressing against my cheek.

In the few hours since Albus and Severus explained my role in the war, my mind had gone awry. So many thoughts plagued my mind that it was blinding. My mind was fractured into so many tiny pieces that I was sure it would never be whole again. And yet, at the same time, I felt strangely calm. Perhaps I had gone numb from the chaos swirling around me. However, this calmness seemed to stem from somewhere deep in the back of my mind, like a miniscule bell ringing in the far, long forgotten corner.

There were many things I was still wrapping my head around. I was afraid of my friends finding out that I am a Legilimens, yes. I am afraid of having to work alongside Voldemort, yes. I am afraid that The Order may not accept me, yes. I am afraid for Albus's pending demise, yes. I am afraid for what will happen to Severus in the war, yes.

Despite all of my fear, however, I couldn't help but feel like this is exactly what I was supposed to be doing. This was the reason I was born. This was the reason I was blessed with my gift. This was the reason that Severus and I were bonded. The elephant that landed on my chest in Albus' office had all but vanished.

I sighed heavily when his lips feathered across mine. "You will be alright." He breathed against my lips, my face still cradled in his hands. I couldn't bring myself to respond. Deep down, I knew I would be alright because he was with me. "I'm going to have a bath." Shivers shot down my spine when I felt a wave of anxiety flood his system, causing him to tense up. "I will keep my head above the water. Feel free to supervise."

And just like that, my hazy mind seemed to clear. Though my invitation had merely been to settle his nerves, hearing the words fall from my lips made my legs quiver. My lip twitched ever so slightly into a smirk as I turned from him and started to peel my clothes away from my body. I left a trail of shoes, pants, bras, and knickers in my wake as I stepped into the bathroom. His trepidation was back, though now it was out of desire.