Let Me Hear You

[ Look At Me ]

On the day that I received the letter from Granny Q, I wrote back to her advising that I would be staying at the castle for Christmas break.

Granny Q,

Thank you! Being Head Girl is wonderful. It has brought many challenges and even more responsibilities, but it has been worth it.

Seventh year has been stressful so far, but I am still at the top of all my classes. However, I would like to stay at the castle this Christmas. As much as I would love to come home, I need to focus on my studies. If I want to become an Aura like Aunty Tina, I need to work hard.

Please do not worry about me; nothing is wrong. Perhaps you are simply sensing that I have been more stressed than usual. But you know as well as I do that I can handle it.

I miss you more.

With more love,

Hazel x

I had to be careful not to let my tears soak the parchment as I wrote the letter. She and my parents wrote back immediately, saying they were upset but understood. It gave me some sense of relief that they did not argue, but I was still riddled with guilt.

As the Hogwarts Express always departs at noon on a Friday, our last classes were yesterday. The students were practically screaming with glee at the final breakfast feast this morning. "I can't believe you're staying here over Christmas." Tas had to yell slightly over the noise. "I know. But it will be a welcome silence. My house is often as loud as the Great Hall during Christmas." I laughed. "I'll walk with you to the station and see you off, though."

After the night of Slughorn's party, Severus still didn't resume our rounds. However, we stopped trying to avoid talking to each other. "Good morning, darling." Lucky for me, I was looking at Tas and already smiling at her plans for Christmas when his voice rang in my head. "Good morning, Sev." I have become quite skilled at speaking to him in my mind while also listening to other people around me.

"What are your plans for today?" He was as eager to be alone with me as I was. "I'm going to the station to say good bye." I laughed as Tas told a story about the epic "Rosewood Snowball Fight" her family does every year. "And then?" I could feel him smirking. "And then I might stroll through Hogsmeade until dinner." I was teasing him, but I really did want to sit in the Three Broomsticks and read in peace.

"Do you really think you can wait until after dinner?" He quipped. I clenched my thighs to suppress the ache in my core. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Severus." I bit my cheek. "Have it your way, then, darling." I heard him excuse himself and leave the hall through the staff exit. I chuckled, knowing he was probably as flustered as I was.

I did what I told Severus I would do. I waved the Hogwarts Express off and sat in the Three Broomsticks with a book and several butterbeers. The words in my book blurred as I let my thoughts unravel. I haven't had a chance to sit alone in silence since the term began. Even when I am in my room, I know Severus can hear me, or at the very least feel me.

I tried not to let tears well up in my eyes as I began filing through everything that has happened over the last few months. I flashed through Dumbledore's demise, Draco's involvement, and my bond with Severus before landing on the thing that has plagued me for four weeks. I admitted out loud that I had fallen in love with Severus.

Thankfully, he chose not to comment; I can only hope that he figured it was simply in the heat of the moment. I wish I could say that I thought the same, though. I can't say for certain if I am in love with him, but he consumes every corner of my life. Our relationship may have begun with a bond, but slowly, over time, it grew into something more. I don't know if he feels the same way, but he must know that we are more than secret rendezvous and flirtatious comments.