Let Me Hear You

[ Come and Go ]

I knew I couldn't avoid Harry forever. The Golden Trio would be at breakfast this morning, so I decided to make myself as available for him as possible. Without appearing as such, of course. As I stepped into the Great Hall, I felt Severus' eyes on me. I purposely didn't meet his gaze; he needs to know I am still upset with him. As Tas was still asleep, I was able to sit by myself and calm my nerves. I'm still not sure what I am going to say to Harry, but I am better at lying under pressure anyway.

"Are you alright?" His concern flooded my body. I fought with my anger at him and how powerless I am when his voice rings in my head. "You don't get to ask me that." I blinked the tears away and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry for –"

"You had the chance to be concerned last night, Severus. But you left me. Again." I swiftly cut him off; I couldn't hear his apologies now. He felt ashamed by his actions, which didn't make me feel any better. "You should feel guilty. I will talk to Harry and sort this mess out."

As I was about to stand up to leave, Harry appeared behind me. "Hi, Hazel. How are you feeling?" He was forcing a smile and attempting small talk. It made me cringe. "Morning, Harry. I'm better now, thank you." I smiled back at him and stood up. I almost forgot I had left early last night with the excuse that I was unwell. "That's good." He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was wondering if we could have a chat." I was glad he was as nervous about this conversation as I was.

I could feel Severus listening in, and I couldn't do this with him making comments. "Of course. Shall we go for a walk?" I motioned for him to follow me. "What are you going to say to him?" I heard Severus call out to me as we exited the hall. I rolled my eyes and didn't respond. It is time he knew how it felt to be in the dark; he has left me there so many times before.

I cast a warming charm on us as we strolled down to the Black Lake. I didn't bother asking him where he wanted to go; I knew he wanted to be far away from the castle for this conversation. "Our paths haven't crossed much in our time here, but you have had quite an eventful six years." I laughed lightly. "Eventful is one word for it, yes." He sighed.

"I'm sorry about your godfather. I can imagine how awful it would have been." I saw a flash of Sirius' lifeless body floating away from him. He is hurting, and I had the overwhelming urge to hug him. "Thank you." Was all he managed to croak out. My heart broke for the boy; he is so alone in a world that is so against him.

Snow began falling lightly as we stared out at the frozen lake. "I'm sorry we had to talk out here. I was going to talk to you last night after Slughorn's dinner." I simply nodded, not wanting to interrupt. "I saw Snape in your room yesterday afternoon." He turned to face me. "He was in there for quite a long time. Are you alright? He was standing quite close to you. I know he is a git, so if he has threatened you in any way, I will go straight to Dumbledore." I let him ramble on; I could tell he needed to get everything off his chest.

"Thank you for your concern, Harry, but I am fine." I smiled. "My room has a password like the common rooms do. I asked him to come so he could change it for me." He wasn't convinced, so I pressed on. "The reason he stayed so long was because we were discussing the frequency of our rounds when my exams begin." I waited for him to process what I said. He was still so confused. "Considering Snape and I spend a lot of our evenings together, we have an understanding." Shit. That wasn't going to help my case. "An understanding?"

"All I mean is that I do not push his buttons, and he does not disrespect me. You know better than anyone how he loves to bully students." I tried to focus on his "git" comment. His green eyes were piercing into mine so hard that it looked like he was trying to read my mind. I had to suppress a snort at the thought. "That makes sense." He nodded slightly. "I'm sorry. Like you said, I know how much of a bully he can be." He feels so defeated. He is trying desperately to cling on to anything that will make his chaotic life make sense.