Let Me Hear You

[ Fight or Flight ]

Regret, dread, hate.

How did we forfeit one powerful, four-letter word for another? Our bond is not broken, but we are. The thought of having to spend the next five months in this castle together made my heart ache.

I should have known better than to put my faith and trust in a man as cold and cunning as Severus Snape. After all his years as a spy, he knows nothing but lies and deceit. He lured me into his trap, and I came willingly under the illusion that he felt the same.

I ran all the way from the seventh floor to the dungeons. I couldn't bear to walk through the secret passage, knowing that it reminded me of him. As soon as I burst through the door to my room, I stripped out of my dress and tossed it into the fire, along with my G-string. Severus had not returned to his room or his office yet, and I praised Merlin for the silence.

I knelt completely naked as I watched the fabric burn and the thick smoke billow out at the invasion. My tears have long since dried, and I feel numb. I cannot feel the ground beneath my knees, nor the sting of my puffy eyes, nor the ache in my chest. Severus has used me for all that I am worth, and I am left with nothing but the memory of his deceiving eyes.

As I climbed to my feet, I noticed the cherry blossom he had gifted me this morning sitting on the coffee table. I clenched my jaw and picked it up, turning back to the fire. The need to burn all evidence of him from my life was too overwhelming. As I held it over the flames, the snake turned its tiny head towards me, blinking softly.

I glared down at it and huffed. "You think you can look at me like that after all you've done?" It blinked again. "I trusted you." Another blink. My lip began to quiver once more. "You have taken everything from me." The snake shook its tiny head and turned back to face the petals.

It was then that I noticed the sting on my fingers and the smell of burnt flesh. I ripped my hands away from the flames and dropped back down to my knees, the cherry blossom jostling violently as it crashed down with me. The backs of my hands were covered in red and swollen welts, and I grimaced.

The pain was a welcome intrusion into the numbness. For a moment, I sat there, staring at the welts as they grew angrier. With each passing second, the pain intensified, and I let it. As my hands shook with the shock of blinding pain, my tears began to fall once more.

I wondered if Severus could feel the pain, too. He hadn't been able to breathe when I nearly drowned in my bathtub, so he would surely feel this. The thought that he would be as physically hurt as I am now made me feel slightly better. I am not one for violence, but it isn't as though I did it on purpose.

I stood up, levitated my loveseat in front of my window, and collapsed down onto it. As I stared out into Black Lake, I saw my mind slip into its depths. Light pinks, greens, and blues began to fade into different hues of grey. The petals on my mental cherry blossoms began to wilt and fall from the branches.

A shiver down my spine broke me out of my haze. Severus has entered his office, and he is panicking. I knew he wouldn't try to come to me this time, but the anxiety that he might made me squirm. I could practically see him standing in front of his fireplace, itching to step through.

I glanced over my shoulder when I heard the fireplace crackle and hiss, and a vial shot out of it and landed beside me. A healing potion. I turned it over in my hand, contemplating whether or not to drink it. The pain from my burns still radiated through my body, and it was enough to make me feel nauseous.

I would not let him help me this time, though. He has lost the right to extend an olive branch, however feeble it might be. I walked over to my fireplace, grabbed a handful of floo powder with a grimace, and tossed it in along with the vial.